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Dear Diary
My name is Valentina Midnight, I was 26 years old, when I finally got my wish to die but I got so much more from death then I could ever imagine,
I use to have a diary when I was living, but it has been burned, like everything else from my human days, I used to record the daily attempts to end my life, the reasons why are still so vivid in my mind and so is the voice I used to hear, but its a lot more clearer then before like someone is stood by my side talking to me its not a whisper like it use to be.
My human days were a daily struggle to exist, I still remember them clearly, Demitri tells me some of our kind either remember or forget but mine is vivid, I guess losing them would really be great loss, when my heart was beating I wanted to forget now my heart has stopped, I feel like I need those memories, Demitri Is the reason I am here writing in you, he gave me you to write in and Demitri was the one who turned me into this immortal, he has explained to me that I am among royalty. Demitri works for some kings their names are, Aro, Marcus and Caius I have yet to meet all three they have met me apparently but I wasn’t exactly at my best when they came to see me.
I explained that I could hear a voice, a man's voice and still hear it which actually makes me feel a little bit more thankful for it, before I hated it, I would defy it, but now it feels almost natural to hear him, he feels like a friend now and not the enemy I once thought he was.
In my human life things started to happen to me I was 10 years of age and I had been hit by a car, I was rushed to the hospital, my parents at my side both extremely worried for me. I heard the doctors asking me questions "did I know where I was?" or "who I was? could I wiggle my toes, was I in any pain" the whole time they where speaking I could hear this humming, I wasn’t sure if it was the music that was being played but it was beautiful peaceful, I was put to sleep and when I woke up I was in this strange room I had never been here everything was grey, there were no windows in the room I was in. I noticed a man sat in a chair his legs were crossed and he wore a smile, I heard the humming music again and it was coming from him, the man spoke to me like he knew me, he told me that I would hear from him again and not to worry, he looked like he was about 30 ish he didn’t look scary and his voice was soft, I felt safe with him, My mother told me I died for three minutes while they were fixing me it must have been when I was in the strange room with the man who was humming because I felt my body being tugged out of the door, I made a full recovery well I thought I had.
I was at school and the voice spoke to me, it was the same voice off the man sat in the chair it was only a whisper and it said “Don’t be scared young one but you have to leave this room now."
I didn’t know what to do, I started to feel sick and my head really started to hurt, I passed out from the pain, I was taken to the nurse's room, my friend panicked he thought it was because of the accident I had been in a month ago.
We were the only survivors left out of our class they day, the Science lab our class was in exploded a blew everyone to pieces, the only way they could identify the bodies where by dental records, it was pretty horrific, there was a faulty gas pipe the teacher was showing the class an experiment and up went the whole classroom, from that day I heard the same voice in my head telling me things like,
"Watch out for that car" or "Its going to rain you will need a coat" even though the sun was shining and he would always be right.
I told my parents only to regret it, I spent the next 5 years in counselling, constant psych assessments, I got to the point where I lied just to stop the endless questions and I listened to the voice and did exactly what he said and then apparently I was cured. I wasn’t I still heard the voice it would greet me in the morning, let me know if it was going to be a good day, if I needed to wrap up warm just stupid stuff until I started to disobey the voice.
The day I started to disobey it was when he told me that I would lose my father, He spoke so softly “Valentina I am so sorry but its time for your father to leave this world he will be looked after I promise you this."
I couldn’t except this, I made my father stay at home with me, I pretended to be sick so he wouldn’t go out, I didn’t know how he was going to be taken but I knew it wouldn’t be that day as the voice in my head screamed at me
"You can not delay this Valentina its going to happen he will die"
I played sick for a week my mother was away on a business trip so my father had to stay in to look after me I was 16 at the time too young to be left alone in my parent's eyes, I hadn’t slept at all, fear of him leaving me, I stupidly fell a sleep and he popped out to the shops and was shot in the head at the local shop, he tried to help the shop owner who was being robbed, that was him all over helpful caring, a wonderful father, I blamed myself I should never have slept, the voice spoke softly in my head waking me up and apologising to me
"His time was over due Valentina, it's not your fault."
How could it not be my fault? I spiralled into this depression, I stopped going to school, I spent all my days under my duvet or writing in my diary wishing that death took me and not my father, then it was my mother's turn to go but I did not stop this, not because I favoured my father over her I loved them both equally they where the best parents I could have ever asked for, the reason I did not delay her death was because she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, she had been receiving terrible migraines which stopped her from working, she lost weight and the day she finally agreed to go to the doctors the voice spoke again it had been silent for weeks.
"I am sorry Valentina its not good news please do not make your mother suffer any more then she is, when her time comes you have to let her go." I cried for days the voice was right, I had one year with her and we did everything she wanted.
I was 22, parentless, jobless, friendless and the only company I had was this voice in my head, I decided to travel the world I needed to escape the place I lived, it was a small town called Birch in Essex, England, everyone knew everyone’s business and it became suffocating, I was constantly been watched, I needed to escape I put the house up for sale and it sold fairly quickly, I wasn’t after much money just enough to get me away from the little town, I wasn’t planning on living long, the voice in my head would scream at me if I started to plan my suicide and prevent me from doing so, for some reason my body and my mind held on even after countless overdoses and slits to the main vein in my wrists, I would always be bought back, so I tried walking in front of buses, cars anything fast moving to only be laid up in hospital with a broken leg or arm, It was like I was indestructable. I could not be broken, but the truth was I was broken inside, I was nothing, the pain I felt from broken bones or when I had my stomach pumped was the only time that felt real.
I travelled for years trying all sorts of ways to end my life, I ended up in Volterra Italy, it was a beautiful city and decided here will be where I view my last days. I had stopped eating not that I eat much in the first place, the only time I would eat was to stop me from passing out and it wasn’t me who was physically thinking I need to eat, he would go on and on and on that it just became unbearable and I would eat but I decided that I would see how long I could go with out eating maybe this would finally finish me off. I was wondering the streets looking at the beautiful town when he told me I shouldn’t be here that I should leave, I saw the beautiful lady in the street she was gathering people for a tour, the voice in my head warned me to stay away from this woman, she was trouble so I decided to hell with it, I walked over to the group and the pretty lady started to smile at me and said I smelt extremely good. I didn’t understand her but followed the queue inside, we walked down the candle lit corridor it was beautiful, the lady in front demanded everyone to be quiet she walked up to the big door and stopped in front of them the voice told me now would be a good time to leave, its not too late, he begged me not to go forward, so forward I went just to defy the dam thing, if it was dangerous it was better for me more likely that I would die, the thought made my heart beat faster my body tingled with the fear that day would arrive. When we entered the huge room there were three men sat on thrones and lots of people with robes on, all different ages, the voice in my head started screaming, the screams became too much, I couldn’t focus everything went blurry. I felt the wind hit my face like I was running maybe I was running maybe this voice had taken control of my body it wouldn’t have surprised me if he had, then I woke up in a room with a man what, I thought was a man, staring at me, the voice spoke to me again
"Demitri will kill you is that what you want, it will be quicker if he does it there other immortals here that would like to see you suffer, Valentina you do not want to die your still too young please do not do this"
The immortal was staring at me oddly, he asked me for my name, I asked him why he wanted to know my name? If he was going to kill me, pretty pointless I thought, he then told me “How do you know I am going to kill you."
The voice in my head screamed at me "He wants to eat you Valentina you are his meal please just run do something" The voice repeated over and over in my head, the immortal Demitri just kept looking at me very bizarrely he kept asking for my name and I told him to just kill me already, I told him if he wasn’t willing to kill me that I would find someone who would as the voice in my head had warned me that there were others that would do it slowly. I stood ready to leave when Demitri glided to me effortlessly, it didn’t even look like he was walking, it was a blur then he was pinning me to the chair he carried on asking for my name and I begged him just to kill me, then I opened my big mouth and revealed my secret that I had hidden I had told Demitri about the voice I hear, I wasn’t scared off him rejecting me or laughing at me calling me crazy because he certainly wasn’t human, his hands where so cold that it was burning my skin having him touch me. Demitri asked countless questions about this voice and all I wanted was death. I started cry the voice in my head started again you
"You must leave Valentina he will keep you, he will not kill you this was a bad mistake, You wanted to die he will not kill you he will keep you." None of this made any sense, one minute this immortal was dangerous and I would be killed and now he is saying I will be kept I wanted one simple thing... Death.... was that so hard to give me really.
The voice in my head was screaming again, gone are the days that he whispered it was really hurting my head.
"Jane is coming you are in real trouble now she will make you suffer pain like you have never felt Valentina why did you not listen to me, if you did I could make your life a whole lot better now you are truly doomed."
I begged Demitri again to kill me make it quick as I know Jane will make me suffer but still he refused and asked me question after question he seemed shocked that I knew this Jane but like I had told him the voice in my head tells me things lots of things. The reason I want to die is because how can I live a normal life with it constantly talking to me telling me this person will die today but on a plus note it will be sunny I cant live like that I refuse to the door swung open and there stood a teenage girl she looked 14ish her hair was tied back and her eyes wow she had big red eyes I should have been petrified but I wasn’t soon I wouldn’t have to feel anything any more.
"Mmmm I thought I could smell my dinner she was mine Demitri why did you steal her?" The girl named Jane spoke quite harshly.
Demitri didn’t seem scared by her but she looked like she could really hurt someone. The voice in my head explained to me who she was “Her Name is Jane she has a very special talent she can make people feel like they are burning she is very very evil Valentina, she loves to torture people for fun please do not piss her off." As if I was about to do something stupid yes I wanted to die but to be torched I didn’t really fancy that I could see this young girl was a torched soul herself. The voice in my head told me that Demitri had told Jane I had a talent I demanded to be killed and that they couldn’t keep me. Jane twisted her head to one side like a chucky doll very freaky her eyes grew wider if possible, Demitri then told Jane told you so he sounded so smug to get one over on her “Does Aro Know?" She asked still looking at me.
Demitri shook his head, then Jane demanded I should be killed, finally I thought, the voice then spoke softly to me.
"Valentina it has been a pleasure knowing you I am sorry I have caused you so much heartache but I just wanted to guide you to help you though the tough times you have had to battle now I can see I have failed I am sorry my dear please forgive me and I will see you on the other side I hope."
Demitri lunged forward I felt his razor sharp teeth pierce my skin and I felt the blood ooze down my neck it was a strange sensation it felt like pulling feeling on my neck then the feeling stopped and I heard him scream in my head "Nooooooooooooooo. Please anything but that, let the poor girl go please." Who was he talking to? I then heard my own screams they where so loud it was like an outer body experience then slowly the pain started to seep through, first it was the pain in my neck because of where he bit but then it flowed through my body this burning pain, my body started to shake and I felt like I was being burnt, the voice was no longer in my mind my head was clear for the first time in a very long time. I wondered had this Jane girl come back to torture me because it felt like it, death would soon be here my wish finally granted.
Well my so called wish I thought I was finally granted was death, but death of another kind, I am now immortal lifeless soulless, to live for eternity, but dead, it's very bizarre not to hear my heartbeat and to have this burning in my throat it's controllable. Demitri tells me that the burning will stop when I feed but I am not hungry so I will have to deal with it. It's amazing I don’t feel depressed anymore. I feel strong stronger then I have ever felt. Demitri tells me this is because of my newborn state that I am supposed to be wild in the first few months but I don’t feel wild. Demitri tells me that I will be kept away from everyone for now until I can gain some self-control but I feel in control, I can hear everyone talking about me and wanting to meet me meet Demitri’s new mate, but Demitri has told me he does not have any feelings for me as yet and to be truthful I do not feel any connection to him either. I mean he seems like a nice person, kind and I am sure we will be very good friends well I know we will be good friends the voice returned in my head a lot clearer like I explained before like some one is stood beside me he told me "Valentina it seems death is impossible for you that you stumble across a coven of vampires who should have sucked you dry, but no, they turn you into one of them. I had my doubts Valentina I must admit but a least I haven’t lost you completely, yes that’s right, your stuck with me for eternity I will keep you safe Valentina I promise." These words did comfort me and now I see him as a friend and not an enemy.
Wow I have told you so much its effortlessly to write all this down I will leave you to rest now diary.
Valentina Midnight X
My name is Valentina Midnight, I was 26 years old, when I finally got my wish to die but I got so much more from death then I could ever imagine,
I use to have a diary when I was living, but it has been burned, like everything else from my human days, I used to record the daily attempts to end my life, the reasons why are still so vivid in my mind and so is the voice I used to hear, but its a lot more clearer then before like someone is stood by my side talking to me its not a whisper like it use to be.
My human days were a daily struggle to exist, I still remember them clearly, Demitri tells me some of our kind either remember or forget but mine is vivid, I guess losing them would really be great loss, when my heart was beating I wanted to forget now my heart has stopped, I feel like I need those memories, Demitri Is the reason I am here writing in you, he gave me you to write in and Demitri was the one who turned me into this immortal, he has explained to me that I am among royalty. Demitri works for some kings their names are, Aro, Marcus and Caius I have yet to meet all three they have met me apparently but I wasn’t exactly at my best when they came to see me.
I explained that I could hear a voice, a man's voice and still hear it which actually makes me feel a little bit more thankful for it, before I hated it, I would defy it, but now it feels almost natural to hear him, he feels like a friend now and not the enemy I once thought he was.
In my human life things started to happen to me I was 10 years of age and I had been hit by a car, I was rushed to the hospital, my parents at my side both extremely worried for me. I heard the doctors asking me questions "did I know where I was?" or "who I was? could I wiggle my toes, was I in any pain" the whole time they where speaking I could hear this humming, I wasn’t sure if it was the music that was being played but it was beautiful peaceful, I was put to sleep and when I woke up I was in this strange room I had never been here everything was grey, there were no windows in the room I was in. I noticed a man sat in a chair his legs were crossed and he wore a smile, I heard the humming music again and it was coming from him, the man spoke to me like he knew me, he told me that I would hear from him again and not to worry, he looked like he was about 30 ish he didn’t look scary and his voice was soft, I felt safe with him, My mother told me I died for three minutes while they were fixing me it must have been when I was in the strange room with the man who was humming because I felt my body being tugged out of the door, I made a full recovery well I thought I had.
I was at school and the voice spoke to me, it was the same voice off the man sat in the chair it was only a whisper and it said “Don’t be scared young one but you have to leave this room now."
I didn’t know what to do, I started to feel sick and my head really started to hurt, I passed out from the pain, I was taken to the nurse's room, my friend panicked he thought it was because of the accident I had been in a month ago.
We were the only survivors left out of our class they day, the Science lab our class was in exploded a blew everyone to pieces, the only way they could identify the bodies where by dental records, it was pretty horrific, there was a faulty gas pipe the teacher was showing the class an experiment and up went the whole classroom, from that day I heard the same voice in my head telling me things like,
"Watch out for that car" or "Its going to rain you will need a coat" even though the sun was shining and he would always be right.
I told my parents only to regret it, I spent the next 5 years in counselling, constant psych assessments, I got to the point where I lied just to stop the endless questions and I listened to the voice and did exactly what he said and then apparently I was cured. I wasn’t I still heard the voice it would greet me in the morning, let me know if it was going to be a good day, if I needed to wrap up warm just stupid stuff until I started to disobey the voice.
The day I started to disobey it was when he told me that I would lose my father, He spoke so softly “Valentina I am so sorry but its time for your father to leave this world he will be looked after I promise you this."
I couldn’t except this, I made my father stay at home with me, I pretended to be sick so he wouldn’t go out, I didn’t know how he was going to be taken but I knew it wouldn’t be that day as the voice in my head screamed at me
"You can not delay this Valentina its going to happen he will die"
I played sick for a week my mother was away on a business trip so my father had to stay in to look after me I was 16 at the time too young to be left alone in my parent's eyes, I hadn’t slept at all, fear of him leaving me, I stupidly fell a sleep and he popped out to the shops and was shot in the head at the local shop, he tried to help the shop owner who was being robbed, that was him all over helpful caring, a wonderful father, I blamed myself I should never have slept, the voice spoke softly in my head waking me up and apologising to me
"His time was over due Valentina, it's not your fault."
How could it not be my fault? I spiralled into this depression, I stopped going to school, I spent all my days under my duvet or writing in my diary wishing that death took me and not my father, then it was my mother's turn to go but I did not stop this, not because I favoured my father over her I loved them both equally they where the best parents I could have ever asked for, the reason I did not delay her death was because she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, she had been receiving terrible migraines which stopped her from working, she lost weight and the day she finally agreed to go to the doctors the voice spoke again it had been silent for weeks.
"I am sorry Valentina its not good news please do not make your mother suffer any more then she is, when her time comes you have to let her go." I cried for days the voice was right, I had one year with her and we did everything she wanted.
I was 22, parentless, jobless, friendless and the only company I had was this voice in my head, I decided to travel the world I needed to escape the place I lived, it was a small town called Birch in Essex, England, everyone knew everyone’s business and it became suffocating, I was constantly been watched, I needed to escape I put the house up for sale and it sold fairly quickly, I wasn’t after much money just enough to get me away from the little town, I wasn’t planning on living long, the voice in my head would scream at me if I started to plan my suicide and prevent me from doing so, for some reason my body and my mind held on even after countless overdoses and slits to the main vein in my wrists, I would always be bought back, so I tried walking in front of buses, cars anything fast moving to only be laid up in hospital with a broken leg or arm, It was like I was indestructable. I could not be broken, but the truth was I was broken inside, I was nothing, the pain I felt from broken bones or when I had my stomach pumped was the only time that felt real.
I travelled for years trying all sorts of ways to end my life, I ended up in Volterra Italy, it was a beautiful city and decided here will be where I view my last days. I had stopped eating not that I eat much in the first place, the only time I would eat was to stop me from passing out and it wasn’t me who was physically thinking I need to eat, he would go on and on and on that it just became unbearable and I would eat but I decided that I would see how long I could go with out eating maybe this would finally finish me off. I was wondering the streets looking at the beautiful town when he told me I shouldn’t be here that I should leave, I saw the beautiful lady in the street she was gathering people for a tour, the voice in my head warned me to stay away from this woman, she was trouble so I decided to hell with it, I walked over to the group and the pretty lady started to smile at me and said I smelt extremely good. I didn’t understand her but followed the queue inside, we walked down the candle lit corridor it was beautiful, the lady in front demanded everyone to be quiet she walked up to the big door and stopped in front of them the voice told me now would be a good time to leave, its not too late, he begged me not to go forward, so forward I went just to defy the dam thing, if it was dangerous it was better for me more likely that I would die, the thought made my heart beat faster my body tingled with the fear that day would arrive. When we entered the huge room there were three men sat on thrones and lots of people with robes on, all different ages, the voice in my head started screaming, the screams became too much, I couldn’t focus everything went blurry. I felt the wind hit my face like I was running maybe I was running maybe this voice had taken control of my body it wouldn’t have surprised me if he had, then I woke up in a room with a man what, I thought was a man, staring at me, the voice spoke to me again
"Demitri will kill you is that what you want, it will be quicker if he does it there other immortals here that would like to see you suffer, Valentina you do not want to die your still too young please do not do this"
The immortal was staring at me oddly, he asked me for my name, I asked him why he wanted to know my name? If he was going to kill me, pretty pointless I thought, he then told me “How do you know I am going to kill you."
The voice in my head screamed at me "He wants to eat you Valentina you are his meal please just run do something" The voice repeated over and over in my head, the immortal Demitri just kept looking at me very bizarrely he kept asking for my name and I told him to just kill me already, I told him if he wasn’t willing to kill me that I would find someone who would as the voice in my head had warned me that there were others that would do it slowly. I stood ready to leave when Demitri glided to me effortlessly, it didn’t even look like he was walking, it was a blur then he was pinning me to the chair he carried on asking for my name and I begged him just to kill me, then I opened my big mouth and revealed my secret that I had hidden I had told Demitri about the voice I hear, I wasn’t scared off him rejecting me or laughing at me calling me crazy because he certainly wasn’t human, his hands where so cold that it was burning my skin having him touch me. Demitri asked countless questions about this voice and all I wanted was death. I started cry the voice in my head started again you
"You must leave Valentina he will keep you, he will not kill you this was a bad mistake, You wanted to die he will not kill you he will keep you." None of this made any sense, one minute this immortal was dangerous and I would be killed and now he is saying I will be kept I wanted one simple thing... Death.... was that so hard to give me really.
The voice in my head was screaming again, gone are the days that he whispered it was really hurting my head.
"Jane is coming you are in real trouble now she will make you suffer pain like you have never felt Valentina why did you not listen to me, if you did I could make your life a whole lot better now you are truly doomed."
I begged Demitri again to kill me make it quick as I know Jane will make me suffer but still he refused and asked me question after question he seemed shocked that I knew this Jane but like I had told him the voice in my head tells me things lots of things. The reason I want to die is because how can I live a normal life with it constantly talking to me telling me this person will die today but on a plus note it will be sunny I cant live like that I refuse to the door swung open and there stood a teenage girl she looked 14ish her hair was tied back and her eyes wow she had big red eyes I should have been petrified but I wasn’t soon I wouldn’t have to feel anything any more.
"Mmmm I thought I could smell my dinner she was mine Demitri why did you steal her?" The girl named Jane spoke quite harshly.
Demitri didn’t seem scared by her but she looked like she could really hurt someone. The voice in my head explained to me who she was “Her Name is Jane she has a very special talent she can make people feel like they are burning she is very very evil Valentina, she loves to torture people for fun please do not piss her off." As if I was about to do something stupid yes I wanted to die but to be torched I didn’t really fancy that I could see this young girl was a torched soul herself. The voice in my head told me that Demitri had told Jane I had a talent I demanded to be killed and that they couldn’t keep me. Jane twisted her head to one side like a chucky doll very freaky her eyes grew wider if possible, Demitri then told Jane told you so he sounded so smug to get one over on her “Does Aro Know?" She asked still looking at me.
Demitri shook his head, then Jane demanded I should be killed, finally I thought, the voice then spoke softly to me.
"Valentina it has been a pleasure knowing you I am sorry I have caused you so much heartache but I just wanted to guide you to help you though the tough times you have had to battle now I can see I have failed I am sorry my dear please forgive me and I will see you on the other side I hope."
Demitri lunged forward I felt his razor sharp teeth pierce my skin and I felt the blood ooze down my neck it was a strange sensation it felt like pulling feeling on my neck then the feeling stopped and I heard him scream in my head "Nooooooooooooooo. Please anything but that, let the poor girl go please." Who was he talking to? I then heard my own screams they where so loud it was like an outer body experience then slowly the pain started to seep through, first it was the pain in my neck because of where he bit but then it flowed through my body this burning pain, my body started to shake and I felt like I was being burnt, the voice was no longer in my mind my head was clear for the first time in a very long time. I wondered had this Jane girl come back to torture me because it felt like it, death would soon be here my wish finally granted.
Well my so called wish I thought I was finally granted was death, but death of another kind, I am now immortal lifeless soulless, to live for eternity, but dead, it's very bizarre not to hear my heartbeat and to have this burning in my throat it's controllable. Demitri tells me that the burning will stop when I feed but I am not hungry so I will have to deal with it. It's amazing I don’t feel depressed anymore. I feel strong stronger then I have ever felt. Demitri tells me this is because of my newborn state that I am supposed to be wild in the first few months but I don’t feel wild. Demitri tells me that I will be kept away from everyone for now until I can gain some self-control but I feel in control, I can hear everyone talking about me and wanting to meet me meet Demitri’s new mate, but Demitri has told me he does not have any feelings for me as yet and to be truthful I do not feel any connection to him either. I mean he seems like a nice person, kind and I am sure we will be very good friends well I know we will be good friends the voice returned in my head a lot clearer like I explained before like some one is stood beside me he told me "Valentina it seems death is impossible for you that you stumble across a coven of vampires who should have sucked you dry, but no, they turn you into one of them. I had my doubts Valentina I must admit but a least I haven’t lost you completely, yes that’s right, your stuck with me for eternity I will keep you safe Valentina I promise." These words did comfort me and now I see him as a friend and not an enemy.
Wow I have told you so much its effortlessly to write all this down I will leave you to rest now diary.
Valentina Midnight X
