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Dear diary
I never thought it would be possible to hurt the way i do Again, I’ve hurt like this before when i was told my dad would die and then my mum, my guardian angel warned me he thought it was the best way it wasn’t.
I don’t blame Malachi for that he thought he was helping.
The pain i felt when i lost them both has come seeping back the news of Chelsea death shocked us all, i miss Demitri dearly but i know i will see him again because we are going to get them back but hearing Chelsea was gone it hit me.
The pain is like someone stabbing my heart, i couldn’t breathe i don’t need to breathe but sill it knocked me back we are meant to be immortal nothing can get to us but our own kind.
Know your enemy the ones who know you the best can be your worst fear or your best friend if i went around hating everyone and believing no one was my friend and then my name would be Gabriel but i am not, i am Valentina who cares about life, people, things, lots of things, meaningless stupid things like the moon, i care about the moon, the stars, the sky, the earth we live on.
I appreciate it more now dead then i did when i was alive ironic right but i care, vampires shouldn’t care they shouldn’t feel heartache but i do and i can’t help that.
Reading through this makes me smile lightly the hurt that i felt has been wiped away just like that a wisp of air has blown away those sad thoughts because Chelsea isn’t dead well she is dead but not gone from our immortal world.
Chelsea escaped with the help of her husband Afton and Tristan.
I always knew Tristan was a good person and that he made silly mistakes like falling in love with Jane he once told me that he could help her become the beautiful person that is screaming to get out, that the monster had control, the virus had spread but he wouldn’t give up.
A good man, but foolishly stupid.
i am so glad Chelsea wasn’t really dead, just a trick, Malachi feels awful because he was the one who broke the news to me that Chelsea had been killed by Jane.
I had asked Malachi if he knew how Demitri was feeling, if he could look for him, Malachi said he would try and success until Malachi found out Jane had attacked her.
Alice saw it too and bought her family to help us Ohhh, i forgot to say Faine is ok now i mean she isn’t singing and dancing but she isn’t trapped in that lost world anymore.
It’s been fairly quiet in my head Malachi has been spending time with Hazel, plans are being made to save the boys and Chelsea has been helping out by giving as much information about the new vampires they are only children it’s so wrong, Jasper tells us that newborns are malicious but children vampire are uncontrollable evil little beings and strong very strong nothing can control them i feared for my Demitri he is stuck there with Jane and evil children vampires i couldn’t bare it i decided to take a walk Jordan and Josh had gone out to spend some alone time i feel for them Malachi tells me Jordan feels horrid that she can still hug her Josh, guilty that she looks at him and has all that love for him but we can’t look at our loves she is behind silly i will have to tell her that she should hold Josh's hand and never let go to never feel guilty that someone loved her the way Josh does she shouldn’t push him away because of us she should pull him closer.
The whole Cullen’s are actually wonderful i am so glad they came to help i know Jasper and Demitri had bonded well and even Edward had come round to the friendship idea.
Reading this back it sounds so up and down but that’s how it is at the moment we can laugh and smile but then we stop ourselves because the sadness hits like a wrecking ball.
I see it in the other’s eyes and know they feel it to, it must be worse for the others because there husband and wife and that bond between each other i believe is so much stronger than just boyfriend and girlfriend.
The rules are a little different apparently in this immortal world you find one mate and married or not you still feel lost without them. Chelsea told me this she found me sat on the roof staring into the night sky.
"I thought i heard you up here." Chelsea said as she skipped over to me she looked like a ballerina very graceful she dropped down beside me and put her arm around me i was just humming a tune i had heard on the radio it really stuck in my head It was a beautiful song.
"What where u humming?" Chelsea asked
"just a song i heard, i like to sit here and sing to him pretty pointless but makes me feel that little bit better" i explained
"he hears you." Chelsea said as she looked fairway.
"He does?" i said not quite believing it.
"Sure hunny you have a connection with him and no little kiddie vampire can make him forget that. “She said as she looked at me know.
" he doesn’t remember me" i said as i hung my head low it hurt that he didn’t if he did remember he would be here with me.
"It’s not his fault Valentina but he does remember little things and he hears you singing he thinks your make believe that he has made you up in his head because something so beautiful could never exist." Chelsea reveled
i didn’t know how to feel about that happy that he sort of remembers or sad that he can’t believe i am real how can he fight if he doesn't believe it himself.
"don’t worry he will remember Afton and Tristan are working on it, they all know sort of like they know they are missing something it’s like being partially blind you can see but something’s are still blurry and hard to make out. When Afton told me about this place it all came flooding back and i felt awful how could i forget you guys but i had Afton they never assumed i would want anything else but they didn’t know i wanted to be free like we use to be and i kept searching for it and it all came flowing back, Demitri has to carry on hearing you sing so he can live that fantasy and hopefully he will realize you are real and remember."
"I am so glad you’re not really dead Chelsea i don’t think my beating heart could take any more." Chelsea placed her hand on my heart
" Valentina you say the oddest things sometimes" we both laughed lightly
Someone cleared there throat from behind us, Chelsea turned around there stood a man he was around 6ft slim short brown hair no style to it and the biggest blue eyes i had ever seen he held so much love in those eyes, i felt like i knew him.
Chelsea jumped up and crouched ready to attack.
The man held his hand out and smiled Chelsea stood there frozen.
I stood up slowly Chelsea was growling this man didn’t have a scent he wasn’t human but he looked human he let his arm down slowly he laughed that laugh i had heard that before.
"I am not here to hurt you." the man said Chelsea stood up right placed her arms around her body that voice that should be in my head not standing in front of me
"Malachi?" i asked questioningly
Chelsea head snapped to me so quickly the look in her eyes was wide with suspicion she probably thought i had lost the plot the man bowed in front of me
"correct I am here in person and not in your head, Hazel finally worked out how to make me this way."
Hazel appeared from just beyond Malachi i couldn’t believe it my angel was standing in front of me holding hands with Demitri’s Angel my body started to move, i hadn’t realized i was doing it, backing away from them in shock i guess.
One step back then another then another Malachi hand flew open and his blue eyes widened.
i was flying no flying is the wrong word falling that’s right, i fell to the ground with a huge thud Chelsea jumped down next to me i stayed laying looking up seeing Malachi and Hazel kneeling on the roof both looking down at me in alarm, i started to laugh hysterically
"it’s Malachi" i said this over and over i couldn’t believe it i was free from him in my head but he was here still Malachi and Hazel looked at each other and laughed they knew i was ok.
Chelsea thought i was bonkers, i had to calm her down and explain it to her a few times until it sunk in the others reacted well to the news our numbers are growing and soon we will bring our boys home I am off to go sing to Demitri.
This is what I am singing to him
My eyes are painted red
the canvas of my soul
slowly breaking
down again
today i heard the news
the stories getting
old
when will we see
the end
of the days
we bleed for what we
need
to forgive, forget
move on
cause we've got
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
the writings on the wall
those who came
before
left pictures frozen
in still in time
you say you want it all
but whose side you
fighting for
i sit and wonder
why
there are nights we sleep
while others they weep
with regret, repent
be strong
cause we got
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
only one
just you and i
under one sky
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
only one
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfkp4WnjfOk&feature=bf_prev&list=PL5161E0AE2D1B70E7&index=80
I never thought it would be possible to hurt the way i do Again, I’ve hurt like this before when i was told my dad would die and then my mum, my guardian angel warned me he thought it was the best way it wasn’t.
I don’t blame Malachi for that he thought he was helping.
The pain i felt when i lost them both has come seeping back the news of Chelsea death shocked us all, i miss Demitri dearly but i know i will see him again because we are going to get them back but hearing Chelsea was gone it hit me.
The pain is like someone stabbing my heart, i couldn’t breathe i don’t need to breathe but sill it knocked me back we are meant to be immortal nothing can get to us but our own kind.
Know your enemy the ones who know you the best can be your worst fear or your best friend if i went around hating everyone and believing no one was my friend and then my name would be Gabriel but i am not, i am Valentina who cares about life, people, things, lots of things, meaningless stupid things like the moon, i care about the moon, the stars, the sky, the earth we live on.
I appreciate it more now dead then i did when i was alive ironic right but i care, vampires shouldn’t care they shouldn’t feel heartache but i do and i can’t help that.
Reading through this makes me smile lightly the hurt that i felt has been wiped away just like that a wisp of air has blown away those sad thoughts because Chelsea isn’t dead well she is dead but not gone from our immortal world.
Chelsea escaped with the help of her husband Afton and Tristan.
I always knew Tristan was a good person and that he made silly mistakes like falling in love with Jane he once told me that he could help her become the beautiful person that is screaming to get out, that the monster had control, the virus had spread but he wouldn’t give up.
A good man, but foolishly stupid.
i am so glad Chelsea wasn’t really dead, just a trick, Malachi feels awful because he was the one who broke the news to me that Chelsea had been killed by Jane.
I had asked Malachi if he knew how Demitri was feeling, if he could look for him, Malachi said he would try and success until Malachi found out Jane had attacked her.
Alice saw it too and bought her family to help us Ohhh, i forgot to say Faine is ok now i mean she isn’t singing and dancing but she isn’t trapped in that lost world anymore.
It’s been fairly quiet in my head Malachi has been spending time with Hazel, plans are being made to save the boys and Chelsea has been helping out by giving as much information about the new vampires they are only children it’s so wrong, Jasper tells us that newborns are malicious but children vampire are uncontrollable evil little beings and strong very strong nothing can control them i feared for my Demitri he is stuck there with Jane and evil children vampires i couldn’t bare it i decided to take a walk Jordan and Josh had gone out to spend some alone time i feel for them Malachi tells me Jordan feels horrid that she can still hug her Josh, guilty that she looks at him and has all that love for him but we can’t look at our loves she is behind silly i will have to tell her that she should hold Josh's hand and never let go to never feel guilty that someone loved her the way Josh does she shouldn’t push him away because of us she should pull him closer.
The whole Cullen’s are actually wonderful i am so glad they came to help i know Jasper and Demitri had bonded well and even Edward had come round to the friendship idea.
Reading this back it sounds so up and down but that’s how it is at the moment we can laugh and smile but then we stop ourselves because the sadness hits like a wrecking ball.
I see it in the other’s eyes and know they feel it to, it must be worse for the others because there husband and wife and that bond between each other i believe is so much stronger than just boyfriend and girlfriend.
The rules are a little different apparently in this immortal world you find one mate and married or not you still feel lost without them. Chelsea told me this she found me sat on the roof staring into the night sky.
"I thought i heard you up here." Chelsea said as she skipped over to me she looked like a ballerina very graceful she dropped down beside me and put her arm around me i was just humming a tune i had heard on the radio it really stuck in my head It was a beautiful song.
"What where u humming?" Chelsea asked
"just a song i heard, i like to sit here and sing to him pretty pointless but makes me feel that little bit better" i explained
"he hears you." Chelsea said as she looked fairway.
"He does?" i said not quite believing it.
"Sure hunny you have a connection with him and no little kiddie vampire can make him forget that. “She said as she looked at me know.
" he doesn’t remember me" i said as i hung my head low it hurt that he didn’t if he did remember he would be here with me.
"It’s not his fault Valentina but he does remember little things and he hears you singing he thinks your make believe that he has made you up in his head because something so beautiful could never exist." Chelsea reveled
i didn’t know how to feel about that happy that he sort of remembers or sad that he can’t believe i am real how can he fight if he doesn't believe it himself.
"don’t worry he will remember Afton and Tristan are working on it, they all know sort of like they know they are missing something it’s like being partially blind you can see but something’s are still blurry and hard to make out. When Afton told me about this place it all came flooding back and i felt awful how could i forget you guys but i had Afton they never assumed i would want anything else but they didn’t know i wanted to be free like we use to be and i kept searching for it and it all came flowing back, Demitri has to carry on hearing you sing so he can live that fantasy and hopefully he will realize you are real and remember."
"I am so glad you’re not really dead Chelsea i don’t think my beating heart could take any more." Chelsea placed her hand on my heart
" Valentina you say the oddest things sometimes" we both laughed lightly
Someone cleared there throat from behind us, Chelsea turned around there stood a man he was around 6ft slim short brown hair no style to it and the biggest blue eyes i had ever seen he held so much love in those eyes, i felt like i knew him.
Chelsea jumped up and crouched ready to attack.
The man held his hand out and smiled Chelsea stood there frozen.
I stood up slowly Chelsea was growling this man didn’t have a scent he wasn’t human but he looked human he let his arm down slowly he laughed that laugh i had heard that before.
"I am not here to hurt you." the man said Chelsea stood up right placed her arms around her body that voice that should be in my head not standing in front of me
"Malachi?" i asked questioningly
Chelsea head snapped to me so quickly the look in her eyes was wide with suspicion she probably thought i had lost the plot the man bowed in front of me
"correct I am here in person and not in your head, Hazel finally worked out how to make me this way."
Hazel appeared from just beyond Malachi i couldn’t believe it my angel was standing in front of me holding hands with Demitri’s Angel my body started to move, i hadn’t realized i was doing it, backing away from them in shock i guess.
One step back then another then another Malachi hand flew open and his blue eyes widened.
i was flying no flying is the wrong word falling that’s right, i fell to the ground with a huge thud Chelsea jumped down next to me i stayed laying looking up seeing Malachi and Hazel kneeling on the roof both looking down at me in alarm, i started to laugh hysterically
"it’s Malachi" i said this over and over i couldn’t believe it i was free from him in my head but he was here still Malachi and Hazel looked at each other and laughed they knew i was ok.
Chelsea thought i was bonkers, i had to calm her down and explain it to her a few times until it sunk in the others reacted well to the news our numbers are growing and soon we will bring our boys home I am off to go sing to Demitri.
This is what I am singing to him
My eyes are painted red
the canvas of my soul
slowly breaking
down again
today i heard the news
the stories getting
old
when will we see
the end
of the days
we bleed for what we
need
to forgive, forget
move on
cause we've got
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
the writings on the wall
those who came
before
left pictures frozen
in still in time
you say you want it all
but whose side you
fighting for
i sit and wonder
why
there are nights we sleep
while others they weep
with regret, repent
be strong
cause we got
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
only one
just you and i
under one sky
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
one life to live
one love to give
one chance
to keep from falling
only one
one heart to break
one soul to take us
not for sake us
only one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfkp4WnjfOk&feature=bf_prev&list=PL5161E0AE2D1B70E7&index=80
