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I am on the run, away as far as I can get from the evil tyrant called MOM. For God’s sake, I’m 16, I know all about what I want to do with the baby growing in my tummy! My name is Lottie. I’m Irish and quite pretty with long brown hair and no freckles thank God. My boyfriend or should I say ex boyfriend, the prick, had promised that he loved me and had pressured me into sleeping with him. It hurt like hell, I don’t know how people say this is fun, enjoyable even, and it just really really hurt. What hurt even more was my mother’s rejection when she found the pregnancy test kit with the blue line confirming my position, thrown carelessly into the waste basket under the sink in the bathroom. I felt like such an eejit for leaving it there afterwards. What was I thinking? Well I was in bloody shock….I was pregnant? What the hell. Oh my god, I’ll be shot. First thing I did is ring Darren and told him we were having a baby but he told me ‘to fuck off, that it could be anyone’s baby and to cop the fuck on.’ He wouldn’t listen to anything I said after that and hung up on me. Then the tyrant confronted me screeching at me demanding to know ‘who was the fuckin father‘….Darren O’Brien I finally told her after listening to her ranting and raving for hours. So she rang his mother and screamed blue murder down the phone at Mrs. Margaret O’Brien and said her son was a filthy fucker and he should keep his ‘dick,’ (course what she said was much more vulgar than that) tucked up in his trousers, instead of in her daughter and that her daughter was now ‘up the duff‘, thanks to him and his little fuckin swimmers.’
“Shut up ma,” I said to her, mortified. Mrs’ O’Brien wasn’t too impressed either and I don’t know what she said to the tyrant but what came outta my ma’s mouth was gas. She called her a “jumped up whore who took off her knickers to anything running on two legs and willing to bury the sausage and that Mrs. O’Brien herself was up the duff with Darren when she got married, sure what else would she expect.” after that she slammed down the phone nearly breaking it with the force and glared at me.
“What the fuck are we supposed to do with another brat to feed, isn’t one of you’s enough, I have no life with ya. Right we’re going to get you fixed c’mon with me.,” she said as she grabbed my arm and dragged me out the front door, down the street to Dr. Darcy’s. I was bleeding mortified. All me friends in the street were looking at me. She frog-marched me down to the doctor’s who unfortunately only lived down the road and I felt like all the ‘nosy’s’ were behind their curtains watching me and the latest scandal from the O’Connor’s household. My da did a runner when I was born and me ma raised me, or dragged me up, as I always thought she was really awful and always whining about something. Then two years ago, she hooked up with a computer geek called Terrence and then she’d lend me out as a babysitter to the neighbours and take me money for minding the little kids. I love kids they are completely honest and tell you like it is. When we got down to the doctors, shame city started all over again. Me ma never heard of keep yer voice down and she loudly proclaimed that she needed to see dr. Darcy immediately that it was urgent and she couldn’t wait and she barged into his surgery and dragged me after her. All in the clinic that day learned that I was a whore and a slut and had got myself up the duff by Darren O’Brien. To say I was mortified beyond all belief would be a lie. That didn’t even cover the shame. She broadcasted that she wanted the doctor to organise an abortion for me in England seeing as Ireland didn’t have the balls to do it. The doctor gave me a pained look and showed his sympathies. I should have known she’d shame me like this. I decided that night when I finally got to go to my room after hours of abuse from my mother both at me and Darren. No wonder he did a runner. I was off. I took my coat and my phone and what money I had in my savings and what money I could find in the kitty in the kitchen and snuck out when I was sure her and Terrence were asleep and took off. At first, I walked down to the train station to try and figure out where I’d go. I closed my eyes and dragged my finger around the map, when it felt right stopped, and my finger was on a little town called Tralee in County Kerry. Fair enough, I knew my destination. There was a hostel nearby so I checked in there and got a bite to eat and a room for the night. Next day I boarded the train and headed south. The doctor figured out I was about 2 months pregnant and had done an examination on me and all seemed to be in order. He’d arrange the abortion clinic in England and get back to the tyrant with the details. Fuck you Darren O’Brien for getting me pregnant I chanted in my head in time with the rocking of the train on the tracks. By the time, the train pulled into Mallow train station I was still no clearer to what I was going to do where I would go I didn’t know a soul. Suppose I could track down my stupid da who’d run off. He lived in Kerry somewhere, but would he shut the door on me too? Anyway I finally pulled into Tralee went in and got some food and started walking in no particular direction. I got a lift part of the way to where I am now. A woman pulled alongside the curb and offered me a lift 20 miles out the road and said she was only going that far and that dingle was another 30 miles so I thanked her and had no clue where I was going but pretended to walk on as she pulled off the road down a bohereen road and into her house. I followed my way down a nice path into a field. I figured I’d stop and have a bite to eat and feed myself and the babe. Wow, I’d just given it recognition. After that, I thought I’d better look around for some place to sleep for the night I was getting really tired so I carried on walking up the fields figuring I’d bound to find some place as this was Kerry noted for its farms all over the place. Then I saw the little cottage in whose kitchen am now sitting. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I found a little house with a little path up from the gate to the front door. There were gardens on either side with pretty flowers in them. I knocked on the door and heard a dog bark and the shuffle of feet coming towards the door. My heart was pounding in my chest. The door opened slowly and a little dog ran out and stood up and put his paws on my knee and I stooped down and petted his head.
“Hello, can I help you? Said an old man, who was leaning heavily on his stick.
“I’m awfully sorry to bother you, but is there any chance I could buy some food off ya, there isn’t a shop for miles and I’m starving.”
“Sure come in, there’s no need to give me money child, you can have some stew my daughter made me earlier. We can share it,” he answered. I looked at his kindly face and his kindly eyes crinkled when he smiled.
“God bless you, you’re awfully kind thanks,” I said.
“The plates are in the cupboard over there and you’ll find cutlery and mugs in that one over there.” So I got what we needed and served the two of us. The stew smelled just divine.
“What’s the meat mister?”
“It’s Paddy, and the meat is Beef. My daughter brought it up to me during the week. The dog is Kalib jr. and your name is?”
“Lottie O’Connor”
“Do you mind me asking how come you’re out this far in the countryside, surely you’re lost?”
“No, Paddy, I’m not lost” then I thought do I trust him or will he try and get me to go home?”
“I’ve left home. My parents have died and I didn’t want to go and live with my aunt. I don’t know anything about her and to be honest I was scared. Why hadn’t my mother mentioned her before so I left a note and left?”
“Where are you from hun?” I knew he was being kind and not nosy.
“Dublin, north side,” I didn’t want to say specifically where but my accent was a dead give away.
“How old are you?”
“16 Paddy and yourself? I asked boldly.
“Nearly 86 now and Kalib is 7 years old” he said his eyes twinkling again.
I smiled at him and the dog lifted his head at the mention of his name and his tail thumped on the ground.
“Do you want me to put more logs in the fire Paddy?”
“Sure lovey, are you feeling cold? Have you any other clothes with you?”
“Em, no, I don’t really. I was so upset when I left that I just grabbed my coat, phone and purse and I got the train down here with no reason for coming here only that I was drawn to here.”
“I see,” he said. Maybe Faine will find some clothes for you to put on tomorrow.
The rain started pelting against the windows outside and I shivered involuntarily not looking forward to leaving this cosy cottage.
“Have you any place to sleep tonight?”
“No, em actually I haven’t is there anywhere around here that I could find a bed for the night?”
“Look go into that cupboard over there Lottie and you’ll find linen and blankets in there too and you can use Faine’s bed 1st door on the right.”
“Oh you’re a true angel in disguise aren’t ya?”
“Faine’s not my real daughter I’ve known her a long time and she’s looked after me for many years but she’s like a daughter to me because she looks after me and kalib and the house. She’s great. I’ll give her a call and see if she can help you out my dear.”
“God Paddy you’re just a star so you are. Faine that’s a lovely name that means ring doesn’t it?” He nodded
“Ah, you’ll like her; she’s an angel, a lovely girl. She just got married there a couple of days ago. I was acting as the priest. Her fella is from Italy. Lovely man so he is, Alec Rossi.”
I smiled and nodded at him and failed at stifling a yawn. Between the heat of the fire and the delicious stew, I was feeling very sleepy. Plus the long walk from the town as well. I went to the press that had linen and blankets and went to the room he directed me to and made the bed. I had a sudden urge to use the loo so I went back in and found him chatting to kalib about the poor lost child that had a child within. I stared at the back of his head in shock. I never opened my mouth, how did he know I was pregnant. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Was he psychic?
“Excuse me paddy, where’s the loo please?”
“2nd door on the right.”
I decided to say nothing to him but fled down the hall to the loo instead. An old tub stood up against the wall with a drippy tap and the loo still had an old pull down chain. Ancient I thought. The white sink was chipped but spotlessly clean. I heard a 2nd voice then, a female.
“Yes Paddy, I’m sure of it.” I heard mumbling then from him but couldn’t make out what he was saying. I finished up and washed my hands and fixed my messy hair in an effort to impress whoever was outside. I looked down at my tummy and sure enough there was a telltale bump obviously sticking out under my jumper.
“Don’t worry Paddy I’ll help her of course I will.” the girl’s voice said again.
“Sure we’ll give her some easy jobs to do until it’s time. She can be keeping an eye on things for you here. Wonder can she cook?” I opened the door, curious now and walked up to the kitchen and said “Hello” shyly.
The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life was smiling back at me. She was simply stunning, amber eyes, long waist length red hair and young, so young, paddy said she’d been helping him for years she must have been under 10 when started. She only looked to be my age.
“Hi, I’m faine. You’re lottie, right? Paddy tells me you’re in need of a home for awhile.” I nodded, unable to speak. I was actually speechless.
“You’re pregnant, right?” again I nodded.
“Bout 2 months or so?” How the hell did she know that?
“How…..how do you know that?” I stuttered, I’m only barely showing?
“I’ve a knack for these things” she replied. I closed my mouth then feeling like a right eejit staring with my mouth hanging open.
“Shut up ma,” I said to her, mortified. Mrs’ O’Brien wasn’t too impressed either and I don’t know what she said to the tyrant but what came outta my ma’s mouth was gas. She called her a “jumped up whore who took off her knickers to anything running on two legs and willing to bury the sausage and that Mrs. O’Brien herself was up the duff with Darren when she got married, sure what else would she expect.” after that she slammed down the phone nearly breaking it with the force and glared at me.
“What the fuck are we supposed to do with another brat to feed, isn’t one of you’s enough, I have no life with ya. Right we’re going to get you fixed c’mon with me.,” she said as she grabbed my arm and dragged me out the front door, down the street to Dr. Darcy’s. I was bleeding mortified. All me friends in the street were looking at me. She frog-marched me down to the doctor’s who unfortunately only lived down the road and I felt like all the ‘nosy’s’ were behind their curtains watching me and the latest scandal from the O’Connor’s household. My da did a runner when I was born and me ma raised me, or dragged me up, as I always thought she was really awful and always whining about something. Then two years ago, she hooked up with a computer geek called Terrence and then she’d lend me out as a babysitter to the neighbours and take me money for minding the little kids. I love kids they are completely honest and tell you like it is. When we got down to the doctors, shame city started all over again. Me ma never heard of keep yer voice down and she loudly proclaimed that she needed to see dr. Darcy immediately that it was urgent and she couldn’t wait and she barged into his surgery and dragged me after her. All in the clinic that day learned that I was a whore and a slut and had got myself up the duff by Darren O’Brien. To say I was mortified beyond all belief would be a lie. That didn’t even cover the shame. She broadcasted that she wanted the doctor to organise an abortion for me in England seeing as Ireland didn’t have the balls to do it. The doctor gave me a pained look and showed his sympathies. I should have known she’d shame me like this. I decided that night when I finally got to go to my room after hours of abuse from my mother both at me and Darren. No wonder he did a runner. I was off. I took my coat and my phone and what money I had in my savings and what money I could find in the kitty in the kitchen and snuck out when I was sure her and Terrence were asleep and took off. At first, I walked down to the train station to try and figure out where I’d go. I closed my eyes and dragged my finger around the map, when it felt right stopped, and my finger was on a little town called Tralee in County Kerry. Fair enough, I knew my destination. There was a hostel nearby so I checked in there and got a bite to eat and a room for the night. Next day I boarded the train and headed south. The doctor figured out I was about 2 months pregnant and had done an examination on me and all seemed to be in order. He’d arrange the abortion clinic in England and get back to the tyrant with the details. Fuck you Darren O’Brien for getting me pregnant I chanted in my head in time with the rocking of the train on the tracks. By the time, the train pulled into Mallow train station I was still no clearer to what I was going to do where I would go I didn’t know a soul. Suppose I could track down my stupid da who’d run off. He lived in Kerry somewhere, but would he shut the door on me too? Anyway I finally pulled into Tralee went in and got some food and started walking in no particular direction. I got a lift part of the way to where I am now. A woman pulled alongside the curb and offered me a lift 20 miles out the road and said she was only going that far and that dingle was another 30 miles so I thanked her and had no clue where I was going but pretended to walk on as she pulled off the road down a bohereen road and into her house. I followed my way down a nice path into a field. I figured I’d stop and have a bite to eat and feed myself and the babe. Wow, I’d just given it recognition. After that, I thought I’d better look around for some place to sleep for the night I was getting really tired so I carried on walking up the fields figuring I’d bound to find some place as this was Kerry noted for its farms all over the place. Then I saw the little cottage in whose kitchen am now sitting. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I found a little house with a little path up from the gate to the front door. There were gardens on either side with pretty flowers in them. I knocked on the door and heard a dog bark and the shuffle of feet coming towards the door. My heart was pounding in my chest. The door opened slowly and a little dog ran out and stood up and put his paws on my knee and I stooped down and petted his head.
“Hello, can I help you? Said an old man, who was leaning heavily on his stick.
“I’m awfully sorry to bother you, but is there any chance I could buy some food off ya, there isn’t a shop for miles and I’m starving.”
“Sure come in, there’s no need to give me money child, you can have some stew my daughter made me earlier. We can share it,” he answered. I looked at his kindly face and his kindly eyes crinkled when he smiled.
“God bless you, you’re awfully kind thanks,” I said.
“The plates are in the cupboard over there and you’ll find cutlery and mugs in that one over there.” So I got what we needed and served the two of us. The stew smelled just divine.
“What’s the meat mister?”
“It’s Paddy, and the meat is Beef. My daughter brought it up to me during the week. The dog is Kalib jr. and your name is?”
“Lottie O’Connor”
“Do you mind me asking how come you’re out this far in the countryside, surely you’re lost?”
“No, Paddy, I’m not lost” then I thought do I trust him or will he try and get me to go home?”
“I’ve left home. My parents have died and I didn’t want to go and live with my aunt. I don’t know anything about her and to be honest I was scared. Why hadn’t my mother mentioned her before so I left a note and left?”
“Where are you from hun?” I knew he was being kind and not nosy.
“Dublin, north side,” I didn’t want to say specifically where but my accent was a dead give away.
“How old are you?”
“16 Paddy and yourself? I asked boldly.
“Nearly 86 now and Kalib is 7 years old” he said his eyes twinkling again.
I smiled at him and the dog lifted his head at the mention of his name and his tail thumped on the ground.
“Do you want me to put more logs in the fire Paddy?”
“Sure lovey, are you feeling cold? Have you any other clothes with you?”
“Em, no, I don’t really. I was so upset when I left that I just grabbed my coat, phone and purse and I got the train down here with no reason for coming here only that I was drawn to here.”
“I see,” he said. Maybe Faine will find some clothes for you to put on tomorrow.
The rain started pelting against the windows outside and I shivered involuntarily not looking forward to leaving this cosy cottage.
“Have you any place to sleep tonight?”
“No, em actually I haven’t is there anywhere around here that I could find a bed for the night?”
“Look go into that cupboard over there Lottie and you’ll find linen and blankets in there too and you can use Faine’s bed 1st door on the right.”
“Oh you’re a true angel in disguise aren’t ya?”
“Faine’s not my real daughter I’ve known her a long time and she’s looked after me for many years but she’s like a daughter to me because she looks after me and kalib and the house. She’s great. I’ll give her a call and see if she can help you out my dear.”
“God Paddy you’re just a star so you are. Faine that’s a lovely name that means ring doesn’t it?” He nodded
“Ah, you’ll like her; she’s an angel, a lovely girl. She just got married there a couple of days ago. I was acting as the priest. Her fella is from Italy. Lovely man so he is, Alec Rossi.”
I smiled and nodded at him and failed at stifling a yawn. Between the heat of the fire and the delicious stew, I was feeling very sleepy. Plus the long walk from the town as well. I went to the press that had linen and blankets and went to the room he directed me to and made the bed. I had a sudden urge to use the loo so I went back in and found him chatting to kalib about the poor lost child that had a child within. I stared at the back of his head in shock. I never opened my mouth, how did he know I was pregnant. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Was he psychic?
“Excuse me paddy, where’s the loo please?”
“2nd door on the right.”
I decided to say nothing to him but fled down the hall to the loo instead. An old tub stood up against the wall with a drippy tap and the loo still had an old pull down chain. Ancient I thought. The white sink was chipped but spotlessly clean. I heard a 2nd voice then, a female.
“Yes Paddy, I’m sure of it.” I heard mumbling then from him but couldn’t make out what he was saying. I finished up and washed my hands and fixed my messy hair in an effort to impress whoever was outside. I looked down at my tummy and sure enough there was a telltale bump obviously sticking out under my jumper.
“Don’t worry Paddy I’ll help her of course I will.” the girl’s voice said again.
“Sure we’ll give her some easy jobs to do until it’s time. She can be keeping an eye on things for you here. Wonder can she cook?” I opened the door, curious now and walked up to the kitchen and said “Hello” shyly.
The most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life was smiling back at me. She was simply stunning, amber eyes, long waist length red hair and young, so young, paddy said she’d been helping him for years she must have been under 10 when started. She only looked to be my age.
“Hi, I’m faine. You’re lottie, right? Paddy tells me you’re in need of a home for awhile.” I nodded, unable to speak. I was actually speechless.
“You’re pregnant, right?” again I nodded.
“Bout 2 months or so?” How the hell did she know that?
“How…..how do you know that?” I stuttered, I’m only barely showing?
“I’ve a knack for these things” she replied. I closed my mouth then feeling like a right eejit staring with my mouth hanging open.
