Alec runs away

"Alec my dear boy, you need time to sort out your feelings. I understand you have a lot of anger in you about Jane and your human life. It’s understandable how you feel so hurt and rejected. First attractions are so painful and you feel betrayed too" and blah blah blah I tuned out on him. Who the hell did he think he was preaching to me about what I was thinking?
"You know Alec dear; I will not allow you and Jane to kill each other. You are both too valuable as my guards" he said to me grabbing my arm to read my thoughts again but I was already ahead of him and I had shut down my thoughts with my gift and deadening my senses for a change. Aro let go of my arm knowing it was useless.
"Fine my dear, but you won’t be able to hide from me my dear for long."

I left him then contemplating. I went to my room to think only to be greeted by two friendly faces I didn’t want to see right now.
"Alec is you ok?" said Sarah.
"I don’t want to talk right now, would you both please just leave me alone! I need to clear my head."
"Maybe you need to hunt again" said Felix.
"Good idea" I replied shortly. I knew Aro would be keeping an eye on me so I invited them to come along with me. He’d hardly refuse us again since I’ve only just begun to drink from humans again.
"But you drank so much blood today you’re hardly thirsty again!" said Sarah.
"Oh yeah, you’re right" I muttered. They weren’t getting the message I felt so dejected and upset I really wanted to be just left alone. So I told them to wait and I’d be right back, but in fact I was escaping them too and went to the tower to stare out at the stars in hopes they’d provide me with some relief. They didn’t. I thought about all the events that had happened recently. How much had changed since Sarah had first joined us really. What did I do with my old life? How did I pass the days as a mindless minion for Aro and brothers? Using my gift on stupid vampires that may have deserved it. Living 800 years without a companion or a mate. Look at the Cullens, they all have mates even moody Edward fell in love with a human and she helped to save them all with her shield. What have I ever done with my life? Nothing! Minions don’t have lives, they have sentences which is what my evil sister doomed me to live an eternity with her. As if she didn’t make me suffer enough when I was alive. She’s probably not even aware of how much she hurt me or our parents. How they ever spawned anything as evil as her I’ll never know. How she came from the same womb as I did? She should have been fed to the vultures as a raw infant. I would now be lying in a grave dead and at peace instead of being stuck here. I can’t see any way out. Have to have another vampire kill you to leave this life.
I next wondered about my feelings for Tristan. Right now I felt absolutely nothing for him at all. Empty! Maybe I did have feelings for him because Aro said I just started to feel anything and as he was in close contact with me, Nah, I did feel something for him at the time but seeing as he chose her over me I’ve shut out those feelings. He picked her even though he knows she’s evil. He doesn’t care about me at all. Well Fine!
I must say I enjoyed kissing that girl before I drank her blood. I had feelings that I’ve never had before her. It’s a pity she wasn’t a vampire I could have had sex with her. Too bad, I thought I was getting those urges again. I couldn’t think of a single vampire in the palace that I would even consider getting intimate with. Evan Tristan. I only wanted to kiss him…Ohhhhh and Felix too. I only daydreamed about kissing Felix, he’s so big and strong that I see him more of a protector, not that I need much minding. Sarah, I will always love her but see her more as a sister, the kind I’ve always wished for. I could feel myself beginning to calm down. How could I ever think of leaving here? Where else could I go? I don’t know any other covens. I know plenty of them who like us, drink human blood, but I couldn’t begin to imagine drinking anything else. No Not Animal blood. That’s for pansies like the Cullens. Who don’t want to hurt humans, I thought cruelly. Yet I don’t want to live here anymore. Jane thinks she’s the boss of us, but not anymore! She’s got Tristan to boss around now and he can keep her company. So I can slip away easily. But I suppose Demitri would just track me down. He loves Jane and is loyal to Aro. Oh, I’d just love to leave this place and get away for awhile. I need a break. Maybe I should go.
I smelled him before I saw him.
"Felix, what is it? Shouldn’t you be protecting Sarah?"
"Marcus is with her and Chelsea is guarding the door. I had to leave to come and find you. I thought you might come here. I usually do to think. If you need to talk to me, brother I am here for you."
"Thanks Felix, but I haven’t it all figured out in my head yet."
"Do you want to be alone or will I stay and keep you company."
"Sure Felix, you can stay but I’m not much company at the moment."
"Can I ask you one thing?" asked Felix.
"Sure!"
"What’s the deal with you and Tristan?"
I jumped up defensive
"What do you mean?" I asked tentatively.
"Well you and him seemed to have gotten close awful fast and then you’re reaction to him when he picked Jane over you was obvious!"
"How obvious?" I asked him completely freaking out in my mind…….please don’t let him have figured it out. He’ll look at me with disgust now.
"Well you seemed so upset about it I was wondering if you had a crush on him?"
I stared at the ground in shock, speechless. Was I that obvious and I thought I had kept it so well hidden. I couldn’t look him in the eye.
"Because it’s normal to feel emotions like that when you’re first starting out you get confused……." blah blah blah he must be listening to Aro or maybe Aro told everyone and they are all laughing at me. I got up and jumped off the edge of the tower, landing safely on the ground and took off running. Before I knew it I was swimming across an ocean. I don’t know where I was going I just kept swimming and then ran some more on dry land and finally I stopped in the middle of a field. There were cows in it. Where there are cows there are humans and humans equalled blood I thought stupidly. Time to drink! A HUMAN! So I walked a bit and saw a house and I knocked stupidly and walked in the door. I smelled two humans and something else. What was that?
I walked in and the humans were in their kitchen and they were cutting up a pig. The blood was everywhere, I watched fascinated. The blood stalled me for a few minutes. I wanted to observe them before I drank them. I wasn’t really thirsty anyway after the killing spree I had gone on earlier while out with the three friends. Huh, friends I thought distractedly the two now, Sarah and Felix. I looked around me and took in the details of the house I was in. I hadn’t been in a house in many a century and this place felt surprisingly like home.
"Can we help you boy? Are you lost? Hungry? Come in and have a bite to eat." the lady said to me.
I stared at her in shock. She was offering herself to me to eat how strange. I shook my head, I was curious now.
"I’m not hungry, thank you." I replied.
"Oh your clothes, they’re all wet. Let me dry them for you, poor boy, did you fall in the water? Here Sean, go get the boy some of your clothes, a shirt and a jumper and some trousers so I can dry these clothes for him."
I jumped when she touched my face.
"Oh you poor thing you’re frozen with the cold, come up and sit here by the fire and warm yourself up." she replied.
"My name is Mary O’Connor, that’s my husband, Sean. What’s your name son?"
"Um, Alec."
I don’t know what was stopping me from drinking them. Why was I bothering with this chit chat? But deep down me knew why. I craved this sort of attention. I had craved it since my parents got dragged away 809 years ago to be precise. They reminded me of my Mother and Father. I’d stay and watch them for awhile. Sean came back with the clothes so I went and changed into them. They felt so different from my usual clothes, so soft and they smelled lovely like fresh air. I went and sat down again by the fire after Mary came and took my wet clothes. I looked around the kitchen. It was small but warm and I felt at home here. There were a table and chairs in the middle of the room which at the moment held the pig they were carving up. They were very adept with the knives they were wielding. I watched fascinated as Sean cut and sliced the pig up into manageable portions and the wrapped each piece in salt and paper that looked like it had wax on it. I asked him why he was doing that. He replied it helps to preserve the meat until they were ready to cook it. Mary was putting some of the parcels into what she called a cold larder to keep the meat at a certain temperature to prevent it from rotting and other parcels she was putting into a smoking box I think she called it to smoke the pork and give it a delicious smoky flavour.
Mary came over to me with a steaming mug of soup.
"Drink that lad; it’ll warm the cockles of your heart."
She laughed at that and moved back to the table again. I couldn’t refuse her but how could I drink soup the thoughts of it made me feel ill. I did so and it was disgusting but it smelled like the pig did that they had been cutting up earlier. So I asked here was there some of the pig in it. She said of course there was it was an old recipe of her Mother’s, a ‘Pork Brew’ she called it. So I drank it all trying hard not to gag. She had been so kind to me. It felt totally surreal. What was I thinking? I’m a vampire here to drink their blood yet here I am sitting drinking soup and pretending to be human and actually enjoying myself.
"Now Alec dear, it’s bedtime for us even thought it seems early yet I suppose for you but we get up awful early in the mornings to milk the cows so I’ll show you to your room. I expect you’re tired after your travels and your dip in the water.
"How do you know I’ve been travelling?"
"Your clothes have all the signs of travelling but they’ll be good as new by the morning. So follow me now and I’ll show you to your room. You did intend on staying the night didn’t you? "
"Um, yes" was all I could think of saying stunned…..
"Good" she replied.
I followed her up a tiny staircase wondering why her blood wasn’t nagging me to drink it. I couldn’t figure it out it was like I had deadened my senses. Maybe I unconsciously shut them down, anyway I followed up to the room that was neat and had a bed with sheets that had that same sweet smell of fresh air. There was a little table on it and a chair beside it. She opened a cupboard in the hallway and handed me a lovely soft blanket for extra warmth and then she said goodnight and went to join Sean in their bedroom. I heard them discussing me
"What a lovely boy he is, so polite but he’s perished with the cold. Wonder who his parents are? Do they miss him? Did he run away? Is he in trouble?
"Now, now Mary if he’s going to tell us he will. Don’t be worrying yourself about things you can’t control" said Sean.
"I know you’re right, but he appears to be around the same age as our Seamus would have been had he lived."
"I knew Mary" he replied.
I knew then that he was hugging her because I could hear the muffled sobs. I actually felt bad for upsetting her. There’s a first.