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April 20th, 1919
I am depressed. My family has noticed. Just earlier I was crying to mother saying that I will never get a husband or find someone who will love me, This is the truth and I know it. And I curse my premonitions! I curse them beyond the grave and farther! Im not sure what lies beyond death but I hope my curse dies hundreds of them!
A FEW TEARS ROLLED OFF HER CHEEK AND HIT THE PAGE.
Mother became upset by this and said she will buy me as many new dresses, gloves, shoes and hats as it takes to attract a man. She said she will teach me to be the most lovely lady ever known. She also told me to try and hide the fact that I have premonitions. And I try. I do try. But its hard. I can’t suppress them, the harder I try the more they come. Even when I don’t try, they come. They come less, but not less enough. I’ve been told that I get a blank stare when I see them. I become completely unaware of my surroundings and nothing can break my bond with the pictures.
My Father said that we will move. We will travel to every respectable country, as far as it takes, for me to find someone special. I am flattered by his offer, or his demand, but I have come to terms with this curse. Im destined to live as a burden upon my parents and to live alone until this curse takes me to the grave.
On a happier note, my parents are going traveling for a month. George tells me they are going for themselves, someplace nice and relaxing. But I think they are going matchmaking for me. I will let them please themselves. And I will speak with whoever comes. But in my heart, I know I will not be with any of those men. They will always find out about my past. They will always run. And I know, in my heart, that I will always have to pay the price. I will always have to deal with the pain of losing another loved one.
I have officially lost my darling brother.
A TEAR HIT THE PAGE.
I was losing him before. And now I know I have. He won’t hold my gaze, and he always leaves when I walk into the room. Im afraid to lose my parents next.
I am depressed. My family has noticed. Just earlier I was crying to mother saying that I will never get a husband or find someone who will love me, This is the truth and I know it. And I curse my premonitions! I curse them beyond the grave and farther! Im not sure what lies beyond death but I hope my curse dies hundreds of them!
A FEW TEARS ROLLED OFF HER CHEEK AND HIT THE PAGE.
Mother became upset by this and said she will buy me as many new dresses, gloves, shoes and hats as it takes to attract a man. She said she will teach me to be the most lovely lady ever known. She also told me to try and hide the fact that I have premonitions. And I try. I do try. But its hard. I can’t suppress them, the harder I try the more they come. Even when I don’t try, they come. They come less, but not less enough. I’ve been told that I get a blank stare when I see them. I become completely unaware of my surroundings and nothing can break my bond with the pictures.
My Father said that we will move. We will travel to every respectable country, as far as it takes, for me to find someone special. I am flattered by his offer, or his demand, but I have come to terms with this curse. Im destined to live as a burden upon my parents and to live alone until this curse takes me to the grave.
On a happier note, my parents are going traveling for a month. George tells me they are going for themselves, someplace nice and relaxing. But I think they are going matchmaking for me. I will let them please themselves. And I will speak with whoever comes. But in my heart, I know I will not be with any of those men. They will always find out about my past. They will always run. And I know, in my heart, that I will always have to pay the price. I will always have to deal with the pain of losing another loved one.
I have officially lost my darling brother.
A TEAR HIT THE PAGE.
I was losing him before. And now I know I have. He won’t hold my gaze, and he always leaves when I walk into the room. Im afraid to lose my parents next.
