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Dear Journal....
Good evening to you.
It’s been too long, the day never seems long enough these days and the feeling to document everything is growing tiresome, i still feel the urge sometimes to write maybe that’s a good thing.
Today has been an extremely tiresome day with no time to feed and its making me a little grouchy, I’m just glad Valentina isn’t here to see this.
I snapped at her earlier on in the day she called at the wrong time and well the words just flew out before i could stop them, i was disgusted with myself i wont document what i said i don’t need a reminder of my cruel words.
So here i sit writing in you feeling the burn rip through my body, i know if i go out into the night air it would be somebody’s last night of freedom I’m fighting the urge i really am but it’s becoming insanely difficult.
I can smell the humans around me know and it’s taking all my strength not to walk out this door and feast.
I couldn't call Valentina to distract me from my moment of weakness so you have to keep me from thinking of blood and human life, so fragile and pathetic, excuse the dark rambling it shall pass soon.
Max will come and then it will be fine then i can call Valentina back, i know she is worried about me and our last conversion wasn’t exactly pleasant as my dark mood was approaching i could feel it wrap its filthy mist over me i could hear the change in my voice and the amount of tolerance i held.
Valentina could tell that to just by my tone of my greeting her first words to me
"Demitri" a pointless sigh from her "your extremely hungry aren’t you?"
i...... could i say what came next was not me and the demon talking, no the demon is me and why do i constantly fight it.
No there is good reason i fight it.
A distraction i need one badly the more i write here the more my mind races to make plans dark and scary blood filled plans.
I don’t think i could ever forgive myself, for there is a better way to live this life not any easier way that’s for sure the easier way would be going out and tearing family’s a part just for a moment of satisfaction.
No the hard way is the only way to live guilt free, not totally guilt free but 99 % Free.
A distraction, ok i have i one.
Currently I’m in London summoned by Max, he is extremely what's the word pissed off yes, fuming angry disgusted which is very riotous of him. He is a vampire, he drinks human blood more humanly yes but still he should show some understandment, Lottie and Bastien they like to go on 'short vaccination' we know what they do while they are away they hunt play sadistic games with their pray and fulfill there desire, then they come home and behave like good vampires sticking to the Kerry code, 'animal blood only' with the exception of Gabriel but he is more careful and he has a source for his supply he tells me nothing and i ask no questions that’s how, it is a understanding we have and no one is hurt in the process.
Kerry life is good and we all enjoy living there what with Josh and his job and Jordan looking after Sophia and Lottie, Bastien & Vera looking out for each other, Sophia and Vera are good friends to.
Afton has a job to he teaches at the college at night history would you believe it.
Chelsea she is happy to just mingle around and be Chelsea, Faine and Alec live in their own chaconne and visiting us when it is possible for them Gabriel has a job to yes Joanna is still with us and attending college.
Valentina my brave Valentina has struggled these past years maybe the glory of being a vampire wearing of and realizing what a huge mistake she has made watching the people you love grow old and eventually die and leave you with this empty hole and every time it takes a chunk of humanity out of you the odd thing is Valentina human life was about grief and loss, it doesnt seem fair that her vampire life should be the same. We are a part for now summoned by Max two days ago and all i have seen is rage and anger, no wonder I’m this thirsty.
i refused to go earlier to feed i wanted the situation sorted i can’t say it is finished with for now but i grow more aggressive even my own sister wouldn’t reconcile her brother just the beast that lives inside, i banned her from seeing me like this, Max must of realised then how far gone i was but I’m holding on to anything humanely possible.
I will not be the cause of disappointment in there and Valentina eyes, I’m stronger then that i have to be.
Ohhh i didn’t say Valentina has enrolled at the college to she has that burst of excitement back in her step its faint but it’s there and another bit of news, Rhoan is back after no contact he just showed up i could of ripped his head off showing up like nothing had happened.
I warned him to stay away from me because i refuse to let Valentina go back to that dark place all alone and scarred, she has come too far to be tripped back there, i think she understands my hostilities attitude towards Rhoan and even she is a little cautious now.
Ahh i can smell my meal arriving don’t worry it’s not human but i can smell the animal blood, i can even hear it slushing in the sliver yes silver decanter, Max only deals in the best even if he still is angry which i think his mood is slowly shifting as i can hear him whistle a tune.
We still have a lot to talk about boundary’s to set rules to indorse, i will give it to Lottie and Bastien at least they gave there pray a burial.
I shall in close the summing letter in here it might make more since to why I’m here.
Dear Demitri
I write to you in desperation for your help.
I cannot ignore the going one’s any longer, fear has been injected into my community.
Demitri I hold your friendship close to my heart but i cannot turn a blind eye to your family’s little fantasies.
I do not wish to fall out over this, i call for your help and understandment on this matter, if the Volturi still ruled this
would not be happening, your younger siblings are turning this town into something i wish it not to be.
I understand this leaves you in an awkward position but if you could please just come to London to talk to me
you have family here to and if we let this carry on any longer i cannot promise the safety i once did.
I would also like you to know Demitri if you refuse to come to London i will take it as you don’t care and wish harm to me
and your beloved sister.
This is awfully urgent you must understand this i would never write this kind of letter to you friend, if I felt everything would be ok.
This is a warning dear friend a warning i do not want to send to you but as you are the oldest of your Clan it is your job to keep things in order and order is not being kept here i assure you please do not brush this off, a war will break out soon a war i cannot be involved in you understand why I know you do and in my heart I know you will make the right decision to come to London and help.
Yours faithfully
Maxums.......
Good evening to you.
It’s been too long, the day never seems long enough these days and the feeling to document everything is growing tiresome, i still feel the urge sometimes to write maybe that’s a good thing.
Today has been an extremely tiresome day with no time to feed and its making me a little grouchy, I’m just glad Valentina isn’t here to see this.
I snapped at her earlier on in the day she called at the wrong time and well the words just flew out before i could stop them, i was disgusted with myself i wont document what i said i don’t need a reminder of my cruel words.
So here i sit writing in you feeling the burn rip through my body, i know if i go out into the night air it would be somebody’s last night of freedom I’m fighting the urge i really am but it’s becoming insanely difficult.
I can smell the humans around me know and it’s taking all my strength not to walk out this door and feast.
I couldn't call Valentina to distract me from my moment of weakness so you have to keep me from thinking of blood and human life, so fragile and pathetic, excuse the dark rambling it shall pass soon.
Max will come and then it will be fine then i can call Valentina back, i know she is worried about me and our last conversion wasn’t exactly pleasant as my dark mood was approaching i could feel it wrap its filthy mist over me i could hear the change in my voice and the amount of tolerance i held.
Valentina could tell that to just by my tone of my greeting her first words to me
"Demitri" a pointless sigh from her "your extremely hungry aren’t you?"
i...... could i say what came next was not me and the demon talking, no the demon is me and why do i constantly fight it.
No there is good reason i fight it.
A distraction i need one badly the more i write here the more my mind races to make plans dark and scary blood filled plans.
I don’t think i could ever forgive myself, for there is a better way to live this life not any easier way that’s for sure the easier way would be going out and tearing family’s a part just for a moment of satisfaction.
No the hard way is the only way to live guilt free, not totally guilt free but 99 % Free.
A distraction, ok i have i one.
Currently I’m in London summoned by Max, he is extremely what's the word pissed off yes, fuming angry disgusted which is very riotous of him. He is a vampire, he drinks human blood more humanly yes but still he should show some understandment, Lottie and Bastien they like to go on 'short vaccination' we know what they do while they are away they hunt play sadistic games with their pray and fulfill there desire, then they come home and behave like good vampires sticking to the Kerry code, 'animal blood only' with the exception of Gabriel but he is more careful and he has a source for his supply he tells me nothing and i ask no questions that’s how, it is a understanding we have and no one is hurt in the process.
Kerry life is good and we all enjoy living there what with Josh and his job and Jordan looking after Sophia and Lottie, Bastien & Vera looking out for each other, Sophia and Vera are good friends to.
Afton has a job to he teaches at the college at night history would you believe it.
Chelsea she is happy to just mingle around and be Chelsea, Faine and Alec live in their own chaconne and visiting us when it is possible for them Gabriel has a job to yes Joanna is still with us and attending college.
Valentina my brave Valentina has struggled these past years maybe the glory of being a vampire wearing of and realizing what a huge mistake she has made watching the people you love grow old and eventually die and leave you with this empty hole and every time it takes a chunk of humanity out of you the odd thing is Valentina human life was about grief and loss, it doesnt seem fair that her vampire life should be the same. We are a part for now summoned by Max two days ago and all i have seen is rage and anger, no wonder I’m this thirsty.
i refused to go earlier to feed i wanted the situation sorted i can’t say it is finished with for now but i grow more aggressive even my own sister wouldn’t reconcile her brother just the beast that lives inside, i banned her from seeing me like this, Max must of realised then how far gone i was but I’m holding on to anything humanely possible.
I will not be the cause of disappointment in there and Valentina eyes, I’m stronger then that i have to be.
Ohhh i didn’t say Valentina has enrolled at the college to she has that burst of excitement back in her step its faint but it’s there and another bit of news, Rhoan is back after no contact he just showed up i could of ripped his head off showing up like nothing had happened.
I warned him to stay away from me because i refuse to let Valentina go back to that dark place all alone and scarred, she has come too far to be tripped back there, i think she understands my hostilities attitude towards Rhoan and even she is a little cautious now.
Ahh i can smell my meal arriving don’t worry it’s not human but i can smell the animal blood, i can even hear it slushing in the sliver yes silver decanter, Max only deals in the best even if he still is angry which i think his mood is slowly shifting as i can hear him whistle a tune.
We still have a lot to talk about boundary’s to set rules to indorse, i will give it to Lottie and Bastien at least they gave there pray a burial.
I shall in close the summing letter in here it might make more since to why I’m here.
Dear Demitri
I write to you in desperation for your help.
I cannot ignore the going one’s any longer, fear has been injected into my community.
Demitri I hold your friendship close to my heart but i cannot turn a blind eye to your family’s little fantasies.
I do not wish to fall out over this, i call for your help and understandment on this matter, if the Volturi still ruled this
would not be happening, your younger siblings are turning this town into something i wish it not to be.
I understand this leaves you in an awkward position but if you could please just come to London to talk to me
you have family here to and if we let this carry on any longer i cannot promise the safety i once did.
I would also like you to know Demitri if you refuse to come to London i will take it as you don’t care and wish harm to me
and your beloved sister.
This is awfully urgent you must understand this i would never write this kind of letter to you friend, if I felt everything would be ok.
This is a warning dear friend a warning i do not want to send to you but as you are the oldest of your Clan it is your job to keep things in order and order is not being kept here i assure you please do not brush this off, a war will break out soon a war i cannot be involved in you understand why I know you do and in my heart I know you will make the right decision to come to London and help.
Yours faithfully
Maxums.......
