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Dear diary
hi i just realised something i am being a bit cruel writing in stages but my reasons are genuine.
I wanted to leave you with happy thoughts for once it’s been a long time since I’ve been happy like this.
So i left you with making wishes and i told you mine.
The sun rise's and stay's fixed in the sky with no clouds as his friends,
all alone up there until our friend the moon comes out to play,
the moon has all ways been my favorite,
even when i was living it showed another day over
the possibility of not waking up to see a new day excited me so much at one time,
now i look forward to the moon visiting
it means i can be who i am without being caught by the sun.
The sun always reminded me of an angry child burning away in the corner storing all its hate
then one day it would release all of its anger out on everything
the sun will burn away the sky
eat up the moon like an angry kid would find his victim and beat his opponent down till there is nothing left.
The moon felt like my only friend a long time ago
now he feels like a distant memory.
~Valentina midnight~
we spent half the day just being close to each other something we hadn’t done since Demitri returned from Volterra, i don’t mean kisses and cuddles, i mean the other stuff.
I wondered if he had gone off me, our time away from each other might have made him realise what a big mistake he had made but we had that connection again.
I knew his body and he knew mine.
When we finished Demitri told me he loved me that wiped out my fear of him wanting to leave me and reassured me he hadn’t made a mistake.
I tried to question him about his earlier conversation about .London being my home.
London isn’t my home any more; i left that place ready to die.
I knew i wouldn’t see it again but i never imagined it was actually possible if only this escape route was presented to me earlier.
Every time i asked it was either a blatant stop of conversation and he would look away somewhere distance, i wished i could climb in to his mind and find out what he was thinking, then when i did get a reaction it was like he was saying goodbye to me.
'you should call this your home you wait till we wonder around your old life your own town where you once lived, worked, drank and eat food went on dates or danced into the early hours your telling me you wouldn’t call it home'
My reply to that was 'Kerry was my home and he was my life and that he didn’t understand my life before him'
i was going to show him.
i was adamant that if he witnessed what i had to go through the wouldn’t allow me to go on living because i wasn’t living, i was moving with the time but nothing felt real for me.
After that comment i left him alone i went into the bathroom closed the sliding doors.
I didn’t want to be near him for a while so i ran the water for the bath let the steam fill the room.
We don’t feel hot or cold so the water would've been scolding as the hot water only ran and the amount of steam that was in the room i couldn’t see, i went to the big mirror and wrote
Demitri name with a heart under it then under the heart i wrote Velamina’s heart belongs to him.
I let the water drip and it looked stretched through the heart i left it there, climbed into the bath which was full of bubbles and buried myself under the water.
I lost connection with the world and it was great, after a while i remembered i didn’t ask Demitri what this place was.
Human guests, Human staff in the day, Vampire staff at night Vampire guests?
I lifted my head Out of the water the mist had cleared.
I got out of the huge bath; i wanted one for our new home.
It was dark in here the glow of the twinkling floor lights made the room look like night odd i thought i hadn’t turned the main light off maybe the lights sensors, i hadn’t moved for a while.
I noticed there was more writing on the mirror it read;
Valentina has Demitri's heart always.
I could have cried.
I opened the doors to jump on Demitri and cover him in kisses i was completely naked coming out of the bathroom, there was a man sat with Demitri the man looked totally shocked his mouth popped open and i saw his razor teeth another vampire.
Demitri burst out laughing
"Max this is the wonderful Valentina i was telling you about"
Max closed his mouth rose slowly and held his hand out, then he looked at what his body was doing pulled it down and lowered his head.
" it’s lovely to meet you" he replied not looking at my naked body.
How embarrassing.
i rushed back into the bathroom to get dressed then panic hit me i didn’t have much on before i came in.
i wrapped myself in the hotel bath robe and came back out, Max was still standing.
Demitri had a smirk on his face i was gonna kill him when we were alone.
I slipped into the walk in wardrobe grabbed anything which was close to me a denim full length skirt and a white top.
I slid out of the wardrobe after hanging the bathrobe up.
I walked bravely to this Max who was dressed in a black suit with a light pink shirt underneath, i should really notice things as a vampire you can possess a lot more but the shock of him being in our room and seeing me naked 'shudder'........ I should of noticed his eyes where this perfect green my heart slumped a little it reminded me of Tristan's eyes they were that green.
I held my hand out to shake; he took it and kissed the back of my hand that wiped the smile of Demitri face.
"You have extremely beautiful eyes Max." i told him he laughed uneasy.
"Thank you." Max replied
he sat down again pressed his hands together and looked at them, i had interrupted there conversation by my nakedness action a few moments ago.
I sat down by Demitri he took my hand and smiled gently at me; i wasn’t going to kill him now he had melted my heart again.
"Can you help me?" Max pleaded
I didn’t know what he needed help with but i would of i could i would do anything for this kind looking vampire, i couldn’t stop looking at him mesmerized by his eyes, I felt Demitri move his hand from mine and around my back his body was vibrating, i jumped out of this trance like state to realise Demitri laughing, i look at him not understanding what i missed.
Max also had a grin on his face.
"Well i haven’t been able to do that in a long time " Max revealed.
"What? do what?........ I don’t understand?" I complained feeling confused
"Max has a certain power that can make you feel sorry for him and you would want to do anything for him if you could." Demitri reveled
"Well that’s not very nice" I frowned
"Don’t worry i could never convince you to anything you didn’t want to do." Max said apologizing i think
"Ohh. I don’t understand why do you have it then if it doesnt actually work?" I asked i sounded so dumb
"Free will it’s something i can’t change you see I may have all the traits of a vampire, i need blood to survive, i can’t go into the sun as the same reasons as you of course but my makeup is different to yours some say we are like the angels that should of never been turned into immortals." Max tried to explain
"Huh?" I asked completely confused Demitri bellowed a laugh and Max looked sincerely at me.
"You have a guardian angel right?" Max asked Demitri stiffened beside me "Had yes?" I asked
"No you still have an angel watching you i can sense it just like Demitri has one, so imagine those two as real humans and they were attacked by a vampire or anything supernatural when they are changed into this state they become what I am." Max explained
"So when you died you were meant to be someone’s guardian angel?" I questioned
"Yes exactly but i never got the chance to die so this is what I’m a vampire with feelings is probably the best way i can explain it" Max said smiling brightly again
"You say feelings like real feelings?" I asked amazed
"Yes i can cry, if i was hurt i would feel the pain but my body heals itself quickly then i have my talent it works for some caring people my talent doesnt work on the cruel heartless ones most vampires are like that they lose their humanity, but you have hold of yours still i can see which is slightly odd I’ve never seen a vampire with so much compassion before" Max reveled
"Ohh that’s ok isn’t it that i have compassion." I asked stunned once again
"I felt Demitri’s arms wrap around me.
"It’s totally fine that you have compassion it makes you who you are i couldn’t imagine you heartless and cold" Demitri said
i kissed him on the cheek for those sweet words.
"Ha-ha a compassionate vampire odd but good in my book I’m surprised you’re not one of us." Max joked
"How do you know i might be?" I asked
"No sorry the trait is the eyes that’s how we know of our kind we can’t hide away as easily as your kind can." Max said being sincere
"I just can’t believe it’s possible for a vampire to feel and be able to cry it’s amazing" I said overwhelmed by it all
"Mmm yes but we were never meant for this and that’s where i have my problem"
"What did you need help with" I asked max
Max looked at Demitri he obviously already asked.
Demitri looked painfully sad.
"If i could help you know I would don’t you." Demitri told Max
Max nodded and rose to his feet.
"I understand" He said ready to leave us.
"It’s just that I can’t track something that’s been destroyed" Demitri replied.
Max swirled around a painful expression on his face.
"What?" Max asked
"He.........There was an attack and he begged for it he didn’t want to live the way he did he was tricked to feel something for someone and he fell for it when he realised what was happening to him he hated himself and begged to die" Demitri told Max.
I gasped of course Tristan he was a wonderful person he had compassion he was kind and had the trait the wonderful green eyes.
"No please tell me he didn’t choose that?" Max said looking really upset
"He did I was there" I told HIM.
Max started to pace the room in a franticly.
"I'm sorry" Demitri said looking sad for his friend
"No you don’t understand Demitri we can never be sent to that place, he couldn’t of known he wouldn’t of begged for death if he knew" Max rambled on
"What place? Max you’re not making sense?" Demitri stood to try and calm his friend i felt useless what could I say to help?
"Hell of course" Max said as if we should know.
"Ha that’s myth there is no heaven and hell “Demitri laughed it off
"maybe not for you but for us there is, think about it Demitri where was i meant to go when I died?" Max asked
Demitri just stood stunned Max was right he should have gone to heaven.
"When we die for good we get sent to hell, heaven can’t take us we don’t belong in that place anymore but hell holds a place for us and we can never go there" Max stressed blood started to creep out of his eyes he was crying blood.
Demitri took his friend and hugged him tight.
"Tristan never mentioned any of this to us? He must have been too new to know. Why didn’t you tell me about this before? I could have helped. Done something" Demitri said as Max pulled out of Demitri arms.
"We keep our kind a secret for good reasons you were part of the Volturi i could never confide in you" Max said wiping the blood away with a tissue he had in his pocket he smudged the blood rather than wiped it away like tears i went to the bathroom and dampened some toilet roll so he could clean away the blood he nodded in appreciation for what i had done.
"What makes you think you can trust me now?" Demitri said looking angry he hated himself being involved and that plaguing his life a mistake that will always haunt him.
"I can see the difference, there was always good in you Demitri and when you came to New york to see Hazel just after you changed Valentina i saw it then she has changed you more then you could ever possibly know the man who stands here before me is the man i knew you were meant to be." Max said passionately.
Demitri didn’t reply he looked pleased almost and satisfied i was happy to be the one to bring him to who he should be.
"Excuse me i need to go and............i don’t know what I’m going to do but i need to do something I can’t leave him in hell i just hope I’m not too late."
"How can you help he is dust gone?" Demitri asked
"No dust is just an image his soul is still intact and the devil likes souls believe me I’ve met him" Max said looking fierce.
"We don’t have soul's Max how can this be possible?"
" for your kind its true there lost but for me and others like me we do and it’s my job to save them" Max said set on his mission
"Like a true guardian angel" I told him he smiled at me i understood his need to help Malachi had shown me that.
"I’m sorry i have made your time away a bit of a sour twist please take my invitation for dinner tonight i shall be the perfect host to apologise" Max asked.
I could see he wanted to leave but felt rude to. I was about to speak but Demitri spoke for me.
"Max you are an old friend of mine and i refuse to believe you could turn anything sour you do not need to apologise" Demitri told him.
Max smiled brightly
"Still dinner tonight to catch up on old times at least?" Max asked
i found this interesting after all that just happened Max still stays loyal to his friend i guess vampire friendship means a whole lot more than human friendship does.
"We would love to" i said for Demitri he looked over to me and smiled as i answered for him.
"Fantastic i shall call you when i have the room set up for your banquet i hope you are hungry" Max joked.
I could see the hurt in his eyes but he was trying to hide it well.
"Famished" Demitri joked with a nod from max he was gone, and a sigh from Demitri too.
I shall leave you there to be continued as they say..................................
Valentina xxx
hi i just realised something i am being a bit cruel writing in stages but my reasons are genuine.
I wanted to leave you with happy thoughts for once it’s been a long time since I’ve been happy like this.
So i left you with making wishes and i told you mine.
The sun rise's and stay's fixed in the sky with no clouds as his friends,
all alone up there until our friend the moon comes out to play,
the moon has all ways been my favorite,
even when i was living it showed another day over
the possibility of not waking up to see a new day excited me so much at one time,
now i look forward to the moon visiting
it means i can be who i am without being caught by the sun.
The sun always reminded me of an angry child burning away in the corner storing all its hate
then one day it would release all of its anger out on everything
the sun will burn away the sky
eat up the moon like an angry kid would find his victim and beat his opponent down till there is nothing left.
The moon felt like my only friend a long time ago
now he feels like a distant memory.
~Valentina midnight~
we spent half the day just being close to each other something we hadn’t done since Demitri returned from Volterra, i don’t mean kisses and cuddles, i mean the other stuff.
I wondered if he had gone off me, our time away from each other might have made him realise what a big mistake he had made but we had that connection again.
I knew his body and he knew mine.
When we finished Demitri told me he loved me that wiped out my fear of him wanting to leave me and reassured me he hadn’t made a mistake.
I tried to question him about his earlier conversation about .London being my home.
London isn’t my home any more; i left that place ready to die.
I knew i wouldn’t see it again but i never imagined it was actually possible if only this escape route was presented to me earlier.
Every time i asked it was either a blatant stop of conversation and he would look away somewhere distance, i wished i could climb in to his mind and find out what he was thinking, then when i did get a reaction it was like he was saying goodbye to me.
'you should call this your home you wait till we wonder around your old life your own town where you once lived, worked, drank and eat food went on dates or danced into the early hours your telling me you wouldn’t call it home'
My reply to that was 'Kerry was my home and he was my life and that he didn’t understand my life before him'
i was going to show him.
i was adamant that if he witnessed what i had to go through the wouldn’t allow me to go on living because i wasn’t living, i was moving with the time but nothing felt real for me.
After that comment i left him alone i went into the bathroom closed the sliding doors.
I didn’t want to be near him for a while so i ran the water for the bath let the steam fill the room.
We don’t feel hot or cold so the water would've been scolding as the hot water only ran and the amount of steam that was in the room i couldn’t see, i went to the big mirror and wrote
Demitri name with a heart under it then under the heart i wrote Velamina’s heart belongs to him.
I let the water drip and it looked stretched through the heart i left it there, climbed into the bath which was full of bubbles and buried myself under the water.
I lost connection with the world and it was great, after a while i remembered i didn’t ask Demitri what this place was.
Human guests, Human staff in the day, Vampire staff at night Vampire guests?
I lifted my head Out of the water the mist had cleared.
I got out of the huge bath; i wanted one for our new home.
It was dark in here the glow of the twinkling floor lights made the room look like night odd i thought i hadn’t turned the main light off maybe the lights sensors, i hadn’t moved for a while.
I noticed there was more writing on the mirror it read;
Valentina has Demitri's heart always.
I could have cried.
I opened the doors to jump on Demitri and cover him in kisses i was completely naked coming out of the bathroom, there was a man sat with Demitri the man looked totally shocked his mouth popped open and i saw his razor teeth another vampire.
Demitri burst out laughing
"Max this is the wonderful Valentina i was telling you about"
Max closed his mouth rose slowly and held his hand out, then he looked at what his body was doing pulled it down and lowered his head.
" it’s lovely to meet you" he replied not looking at my naked body.
How embarrassing.
i rushed back into the bathroom to get dressed then panic hit me i didn’t have much on before i came in.
i wrapped myself in the hotel bath robe and came back out, Max was still standing.
Demitri had a smirk on his face i was gonna kill him when we were alone.
I slipped into the walk in wardrobe grabbed anything which was close to me a denim full length skirt and a white top.
I slid out of the wardrobe after hanging the bathrobe up.
I walked bravely to this Max who was dressed in a black suit with a light pink shirt underneath, i should really notice things as a vampire you can possess a lot more but the shock of him being in our room and seeing me naked 'shudder'........ I should of noticed his eyes where this perfect green my heart slumped a little it reminded me of Tristan's eyes they were that green.
I held my hand out to shake; he took it and kissed the back of my hand that wiped the smile of Demitri face.
"You have extremely beautiful eyes Max." i told him he laughed uneasy.
"Thank you." Max replied
he sat down again pressed his hands together and looked at them, i had interrupted there conversation by my nakedness action a few moments ago.
I sat down by Demitri he took my hand and smiled gently at me; i wasn’t going to kill him now he had melted my heart again.
"Can you help me?" Max pleaded
I didn’t know what he needed help with but i would of i could i would do anything for this kind looking vampire, i couldn’t stop looking at him mesmerized by his eyes, I felt Demitri move his hand from mine and around my back his body was vibrating, i jumped out of this trance like state to realise Demitri laughing, i look at him not understanding what i missed.
Max also had a grin on his face.
"Well i haven’t been able to do that in a long time " Max revealed.
"What? do what?........ I don’t understand?" I complained feeling confused
"Max has a certain power that can make you feel sorry for him and you would want to do anything for him if you could." Demitri reveled
"Well that’s not very nice" I frowned
"Don’t worry i could never convince you to anything you didn’t want to do." Max said apologizing i think
"Ohh. I don’t understand why do you have it then if it doesnt actually work?" I asked i sounded so dumb
"Free will it’s something i can’t change you see I may have all the traits of a vampire, i need blood to survive, i can’t go into the sun as the same reasons as you of course but my makeup is different to yours some say we are like the angels that should of never been turned into immortals." Max tried to explain
"Huh?" I asked completely confused Demitri bellowed a laugh and Max looked sincerely at me.
"You have a guardian angel right?" Max asked Demitri stiffened beside me "Had yes?" I asked
"No you still have an angel watching you i can sense it just like Demitri has one, so imagine those two as real humans and they were attacked by a vampire or anything supernatural when they are changed into this state they become what I am." Max explained
"So when you died you were meant to be someone’s guardian angel?" I questioned
"Yes exactly but i never got the chance to die so this is what I’m a vampire with feelings is probably the best way i can explain it" Max said smiling brightly again
"You say feelings like real feelings?" I asked amazed
"Yes i can cry, if i was hurt i would feel the pain but my body heals itself quickly then i have my talent it works for some caring people my talent doesnt work on the cruel heartless ones most vampires are like that they lose their humanity, but you have hold of yours still i can see which is slightly odd I’ve never seen a vampire with so much compassion before" Max reveled
"Ohh that’s ok isn’t it that i have compassion." I asked stunned once again
"I felt Demitri’s arms wrap around me.
"It’s totally fine that you have compassion it makes you who you are i couldn’t imagine you heartless and cold" Demitri said
i kissed him on the cheek for those sweet words.
"Ha-ha a compassionate vampire odd but good in my book I’m surprised you’re not one of us." Max joked
"How do you know i might be?" I asked
"No sorry the trait is the eyes that’s how we know of our kind we can’t hide away as easily as your kind can." Max said being sincere
"I just can’t believe it’s possible for a vampire to feel and be able to cry it’s amazing" I said overwhelmed by it all
"Mmm yes but we were never meant for this and that’s where i have my problem"
"What did you need help with" I asked max
Max looked at Demitri he obviously already asked.
Demitri looked painfully sad.
"If i could help you know I would don’t you." Demitri told Max
Max nodded and rose to his feet.
"I understand" He said ready to leave us.
"It’s just that I can’t track something that’s been destroyed" Demitri replied.
Max swirled around a painful expression on his face.
"What?" Max asked
"He.........There was an attack and he begged for it he didn’t want to live the way he did he was tricked to feel something for someone and he fell for it when he realised what was happening to him he hated himself and begged to die" Demitri told Max.
I gasped of course Tristan he was a wonderful person he had compassion he was kind and had the trait the wonderful green eyes.
"No please tell me he didn’t choose that?" Max said looking really upset
"He did I was there" I told HIM.
Max started to pace the room in a franticly.
"I'm sorry" Demitri said looking sad for his friend
"No you don’t understand Demitri we can never be sent to that place, he couldn’t of known he wouldn’t of begged for death if he knew" Max rambled on
"What place? Max you’re not making sense?" Demitri stood to try and calm his friend i felt useless what could I say to help?
"Hell of course" Max said as if we should know.
"Ha that’s myth there is no heaven and hell “Demitri laughed it off
"maybe not for you but for us there is, think about it Demitri where was i meant to go when I died?" Max asked
Demitri just stood stunned Max was right he should have gone to heaven.
"When we die for good we get sent to hell, heaven can’t take us we don’t belong in that place anymore but hell holds a place for us and we can never go there" Max stressed blood started to creep out of his eyes he was crying blood.
Demitri took his friend and hugged him tight.
"Tristan never mentioned any of this to us? He must have been too new to know. Why didn’t you tell me about this before? I could have helped. Done something" Demitri said as Max pulled out of Demitri arms.
"We keep our kind a secret for good reasons you were part of the Volturi i could never confide in you" Max said wiping the blood away with a tissue he had in his pocket he smudged the blood rather than wiped it away like tears i went to the bathroom and dampened some toilet roll so he could clean away the blood he nodded in appreciation for what i had done.
"What makes you think you can trust me now?" Demitri said looking angry he hated himself being involved and that plaguing his life a mistake that will always haunt him.
"I can see the difference, there was always good in you Demitri and when you came to New york to see Hazel just after you changed Valentina i saw it then she has changed you more then you could ever possibly know the man who stands here before me is the man i knew you were meant to be." Max said passionately.
Demitri didn’t reply he looked pleased almost and satisfied i was happy to be the one to bring him to who he should be.
"Excuse me i need to go and............i don’t know what I’m going to do but i need to do something I can’t leave him in hell i just hope I’m not too late."
"How can you help he is dust gone?" Demitri asked
"No dust is just an image his soul is still intact and the devil likes souls believe me I’ve met him" Max said looking fierce.
"We don’t have soul's Max how can this be possible?"
" for your kind its true there lost but for me and others like me we do and it’s my job to save them" Max said set on his mission
"Like a true guardian angel" I told him he smiled at me i understood his need to help Malachi had shown me that.
"I’m sorry i have made your time away a bit of a sour twist please take my invitation for dinner tonight i shall be the perfect host to apologise" Max asked.
I could see he wanted to leave but felt rude to. I was about to speak but Demitri spoke for me.
"Max you are an old friend of mine and i refuse to believe you could turn anything sour you do not need to apologise" Demitri told him.
Max smiled brightly
"Still dinner tonight to catch up on old times at least?" Max asked
i found this interesting after all that just happened Max still stays loyal to his friend i guess vampire friendship means a whole lot more than human friendship does.
"We would love to" i said for Demitri he looked over to me and smiled as i answered for him.
"Fantastic i shall call you when i have the room set up for your banquet i hope you are hungry" Max joked.
I could see the hurt in his eyes but he was trying to hide it well.
"Famished" Demitri joked with a nod from max he was gone, and a sigh from Demitri too.
I shall leave you there to be continued as they say..................................
Valentina xxx
