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March 22nd, 2015
I knew that the baby staying on good behavior wouldn't last long. Not that it is behaving nearly as bad as Reneesme did but-
Johanna, willingly, opted for bed rest and minimal movement, which Carlisle fully agreed with. We decided to stay at the main house while Johanna was in this state, everyone knew the house better and Jordan was closer when we need her. Its getting closer to nine months now which means that her every ache and pain, sudden movement or gasp, sends me on high alert. Of course it turns out to be nothing, the baby kicked or Johanna only had to stretch, but I can't be away from her, not even for a second. You would think that my inability to leave my wife at all would make it okay for me to drink animal blood; nope. Animal blood is still disgusting and off limits in my book. Jordan, Rhoan, Johanna, Carlisle, and yes, even Sophia all told me that I should go hunt, I look like a fright worse than death. I agree! I do need a good kill! I can feel that I'm not as strong as usual and, well, I just don't feel good at all.
"Hunny, please go out and feed, I hate seeing you waste away." Johanna told me.
"I'm not wasting away, I'm stronger than a rock," I lied to her.
I can tell she didn't buy it, she pouted and turned her head back to the tv while absent mindedly rubbing her tummy in circles.
I wondered angrily why everyone was obsessing over me when they should be obsessing over Johanna like I was!
"Here, Uncle Gabriel, try this. Its a strawberry milkshake." Sophia holds out a tall glass to me.
My mind wasn't as sharp as it would be so I accepted it and took a sip to make her happy but ended up spitting it out onto the carpet.
"Sophia, who told you that was a milkshake?! Its animal blood! Did your mom tell you to give it to me?!"
I looked towards the kitchen and sure enough Jordan was running away guiltily.
"I just want you to get better," she pouted.
"Gabriel, will you please go eat before you upset us even more?" Johanna begs.
Well- one guess what I ended up doing.
I wasn't even past Jordan's house when I hear Johanna gasp and I went running back to the main house.
I burst through the door screaming, "Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened? Is the baby coming? Johanna, talk to me!"
Everyone looked at me as if I had five heads, or like I was an overconcerned husband.
"Gabriel, I'm fine. The baby kicked a little harder, that's all."
"How can you be so calm?!"
"Carlisle," she asked nervously, "can you do something about Gabriel?"
"'Do something about me'?! I'm not acting crazy! I'm just concerned!"
"Well so am I," she said sweetly. Those were the last words I heard before I was pulled into a deep, inescapable sleep.
I was in a dark room except for a bright, white spotlight.
'Hello?' My voice echoed through the room.
The echo of footsteps greeted me. A man wearing my leather duster walked into the spotlight. I started wondering who would dare take my favorite coat but then I saw his face. Rhoan stood in the center of the spotlight, his hair grown longer, trying to look like me.
God, I hope this won't be one of those dreams where he sings!
My wish was denied, Rhoan opened his mouth and started singing.
"'Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy (poor boy), I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
little high, little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, I just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,'" scenes of my suicide attempts filled the background,
"'Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
It's too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all,'" the music speeds up drastically and so does my anger,
"'I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?'"
The Volturri shows up and decided to be the chorus, "'*Thunderbolts and lightning - very very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Figaro - magnifico-o-o-o*'"
"'I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
*He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity*
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
*This will not-! No - we will not let you go - let him go
This will not-! We will not let you go - let him go
This will not-! We will not let you go*'"
"let me go!" I scream.
"'*Will not let you go*'"
" let me go" I scream.
"'* (never)
Never let you go*'"
"let me go," I scream.
"'*Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -*
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
*Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me
for me
for me
for me*'" in between the 'for me's I hear a shrill screaming and recognize it to be Johanna!
Somewhere a guitar starts being shredded and then another spotlight appears, in it Johanna is laying on an operating table, sweat glistens on her forehead and she's screaming- oh my god, its the baby!
Rhoan dances over to her and starts singing at her as she's trying to give birth, "'So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here'"
"'Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see,'" he turns around, everything else had faded out except for him and the small bundle he was holding, gazing into its covered face, my baby,
"'Nothing really matters, nothing really matters, to me
Anyway the wind blows...'"
I reach for the baby but Rhoan puts his shoulder in between us.
'Wake up,' his says snidely then raises his leg and sends me a blow to my chest. Darkness consumes me and I start hearing Johanna's screaming again...
I was in a white room. Dark mahogony furniture was spread around and I was laying in a bed. I heard shrill, pained screaming, it took me a minute to realize that I wasn't still dreaming. Half in shock I wandered down the hall towards the screaming, my fingers dragged along the wall and then I ran when I heard the lyrics: 'So you think you can love me and leave me to die'. No, no, no! Johanna wouldn't leave me tonight! Not ever!
I threw open the guest room door and sure enough Johanna was sitting on an operating table, covered in sweat, screaming in agony, Jordan was standing a safe distance away trying to comfort her, and Carlisle was -um- well, he's where the doctor is supposed to be.
Her eyes settle on me, filled with hate, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She screams.
In three seconds I recovered from the shock of her words and flitted to her side.
"Why aren't you cutting it out of her?!"
"She insists she can do it this way-"
"Wrong," I say grabbing her hand tightly in mine, "We can do it."
Johanna nods fiercely before taking a deep breath and trying again.
"Come on, love, you're doing great! One more time, Jo! You can do this! We spent eight months waiting for this moment. Now that its here you can do this, I know you can."
Johanna pushes one more time and then a soft cry cuts through the air.
Carlisle is holding a beautiful baby-
"It's a girl," he says happily.
"Ummm, no. Its supposed to be a boy," I try and correct him.
"Well, it wanted to be a girl, I guess. Say hello to your daughter, Gabriel."
Before I could protest, the baby was passed into my arms. Everything stopped. Time ceased to exist and I felt like there was no one else in the room. It was just me and my daughter, my little girl. All the doubts that I had about being a father disappeared completely. I was going to be great at it because of my love for her, because she is my daughter I would be a great father. The rememberance of names popped into my head as I thought of what we were going to call her, but that was when we believed she was a boy.
As I cradle her small head I whisper to her, "No, not Nikolai. Nikola. Your name is Nikola." She yawned.
Nikola is the female version of Nikolai, this is a great way to honor my brother.
"Gabriel," Johanna breathes.
I pass Nikola to Jordan and then go to Johanna's side. Immediately she starts whispering apologies, "I am so, so, so sorry about saying that I hate you. I don't, Gabriel. I don't hate you, I love you."
"I know, Johanna. I know. I love you too. You gave us a baby girl, Johanna. And she's beautiful!"
"Take good care of her, Gabriel. Tell her I loved her so very much,"
That's when I noticed her labored breathing.
"Johanna? Johanna, no! You're not going to die! I'm going to-. I promise you-" she stops me, bringing her shaking hand to my cheek.
"I'm going to die, Gabriel-"
"No. I can make you a vampire-"
"Shhh. Please. I don't want to be a vampire. I just need you to know how much I love you."
"Johanna-"
"Take care of her. Love her. She's part of you and me."
And just like that her hand fell from my cheek, and her head rolled to the side.
"Johanna? Johanna, no! Please! Come back! Please!" I scream over and over again. I lay my arms and head over her body, my own shaking with empty sobs.
There were three minutes of empty silence.
Then Carlisle started freaking out, he took up the doctor position again before yelling, "There's another one coming!"
-Gabriel
I knew that the baby staying on good behavior wouldn't last long. Not that it is behaving nearly as bad as Reneesme did but-
Johanna, willingly, opted for bed rest and minimal movement, which Carlisle fully agreed with. We decided to stay at the main house while Johanna was in this state, everyone knew the house better and Jordan was closer when we need her. Its getting closer to nine months now which means that her every ache and pain, sudden movement or gasp, sends me on high alert. Of course it turns out to be nothing, the baby kicked or Johanna only had to stretch, but I can't be away from her, not even for a second. You would think that my inability to leave my wife at all would make it okay for me to drink animal blood; nope. Animal blood is still disgusting and off limits in my book. Jordan, Rhoan, Johanna, Carlisle, and yes, even Sophia all told me that I should go hunt, I look like a fright worse than death. I agree! I do need a good kill! I can feel that I'm not as strong as usual and, well, I just don't feel good at all.
"Hunny, please go out and feed, I hate seeing you waste away." Johanna told me.
"I'm not wasting away, I'm stronger than a rock," I lied to her.
I can tell she didn't buy it, she pouted and turned her head back to the tv while absent mindedly rubbing her tummy in circles.
I wondered angrily why everyone was obsessing over me when they should be obsessing over Johanna like I was!
"Here, Uncle Gabriel, try this. Its a strawberry milkshake." Sophia holds out a tall glass to me.
My mind wasn't as sharp as it would be so I accepted it and took a sip to make her happy but ended up spitting it out onto the carpet.
"Sophia, who told you that was a milkshake?! Its animal blood! Did your mom tell you to give it to me?!"
I looked towards the kitchen and sure enough Jordan was running away guiltily.
"I just want you to get better," she pouted.
"Gabriel, will you please go eat before you upset us even more?" Johanna begs.
Well- one guess what I ended up doing.
I wasn't even past Jordan's house when I hear Johanna gasp and I went running back to the main house.
I burst through the door screaming, "Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened? Is the baby coming? Johanna, talk to me!"
Everyone looked at me as if I had five heads, or like I was an overconcerned husband.
"Gabriel, I'm fine. The baby kicked a little harder, that's all."
"How can you be so calm?!"
"Carlisle," she asked nervously, "can you do something about Gabriel?"
"'Do something about me'?! I'm not acting crazy! I'm just concerned!"
"Well so am I," she said sweetly. Those were the last words I heard before I was pulled into a deep, inescapable sleep.
I was in a dark room except for a bright, white spotlight.
'Hello?' My voice echoed through the room.
The echo of footsteps greeted me. A man wearing my leather duster walked into the spotlight. I started wondering who would dare take my favorite coat but then I saw his face. Rhoan stood in the center of the spotlight, his hair grown longer, trying to look like me.
God, I hope this won't be one of those dreams where he sings!
My wish was denied, Rhoan opened his mouth and started singing.
"'Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy (poor boy), I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
little high, little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me
Mama, I just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead,'" scenes of my suicide attempts filled the background,
"'Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
It's too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all,'" the music speeds up drastically and so does my anger,
"'I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?'"
The Volturri shows up and decided to be the chorus, "'*Thunderbolts and lightning - very very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Figaro - magnifico-o-o-o*'"
"'I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me
*He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity*
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
*This will not-! No - we will not let you go - let him go
This will not-! We will not let you go - let him go
This will not-! We will not let you go*'"
"let me go!" I scream.
"'*Will not let you go*'"
" let me go" I scream.
"'* (never)
Never let you go*'"
"let me go," I scream.
"'*Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -*
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
*Beelzebub has the devil put aside for me
for me
for me
for me*'" in between the 'for me's I hear a shrill screaming and recognize it to be Johanna!
Somewhere a guitar starts being shredded and then another spotlight appears, in it Johanna is laying on an operating table, sweat glistens on her forehead and she's screaming- oh my god, its the baby!
Rhoan dances over to her and starts singing at her as she's trying to give birth, "'So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?
So you think you can love me and leave me to die?
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here'"
"'Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see,'" he turns around, everything else had faded out except for him and the small bundle he was holding, gazing into its covered face, my baby,
"'Nothing really matters, nothing really matters, to me
Anyway the wind blows...'"
I reach for the baby but Rhoan puts his shoulder in between us.
'Wake up,' his says snidely then raises his leg and sends me a blow to my chest. Darkness consumes me and I start hearing Johanna's screaming again...
I was in a white room. Dark mahogony furniture was spread around and I was laying in a bed. I heard shrill, pained screaming, it took me a minute to realize that I wasn't still dreaming. Half in shock I wandered down the hall towards the screaming, my fingers dragged along the wall and then I ran when I heard the lyrics: 'So you think you can love me and leave me to die'. No, no, no! Johanna wouldn't leave me tonight! Not ever!
I threw open the guest room door and sure enough Johanna was sitting on an operating table, covered in sweat, screaming in agony, Jordan was standing a safe distance away trying to comfort her, and Carlisle was -um- well, he's where the doctor is supposed to be.
Her eyes settle on me, filled with hate, "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She screams.
In three seconds I recovered from the shock of her words and flitted to her side.
"Why aren't you cutting it out of her?!"
"She insists she can do it this way-"
"Wrong," I say grabbing her hand tightly in mine, "We can do it."
Johanna nods fiercely before taking a deep breath and trying again.
"Come on, love, you're doing great! One more time, Jo! You can do this! We spent eight months waiting for this moment. Now that its here you can do this, I know you can."
Johanna pushes one more time and then a soft cry cuts through the air.
Carlisle is holding a beautiful baby-
"It's a girl," he says happily.
"Ummm, no. Its supposed to be a boy," I try and correct him.
"Well, it wanted to be a girl, I guess. Say hello to your daughter, Gabriel."
Before I could protest, the baby was passed into my arms. Everything stopped. Time ceased to exist and I felt like there was no one else in the room. It was just me and my daughter, my little girl. All the doubts that I had about being a father disappeared completely. I was going to be great at it because of my love for her, because she is my daughter I would be a great father. The rememberance of names popped into my head as I thought of what we were going to call her, but that was when we believed she was a boy.
As I cradle her small head I whisper to her, "No, not Nikolai. Nikola. Your name is Nikola." She yawned.
Nikola is the female version of Nikolai, this is a great way to honor my brother.
"Gabriel," Johanna breathes.
I pass Nikola to Jordan and then go to Johanna's side. Immediately she starts whispering apologies, "I am so, so, so sorry about saying that I hate you. I don't, Gabriel. I don't hate you, I love you."
"I know, Johanna. I know. I love you too. You gave us a baby girl, Johanna. And she's beautiful!"
"Take good care of her, Gabriel. Tell her I loved her so very much,"
That's when I noticed her labored breathing.
"Johanna? Johanna, no! You're not going to die! I'm going to-. I promise you-" she stops me, bringing her shaking hand to my cheek.
"I'm going to die, Gabriel-"
"No. I can make you a vampire-"
"Shhh. Please. I don't want to be a vampire. I just need you to know how much I love you."
"Johanna-"
"Take care of her. Love her. She's part of you and me."
And just like that her hand fell from my cheek, and her head rolled to the side.
"Johanna? Johanna, no! Please! Come back! Please!" I scream over and over again. I lay my arms and head over her body, my own shaking with empty sobs.
There were three minutes of empty silence.
Then Carlisle started freaking out, he took up the doctor position again before yelling, "There's another one coming!"
-Gabriel