Home
September 1st, 2014
We've been home for about a month now and I wonder what has happened to my marriage. It could just be me being paranoid but it seems like Johanna is working extra just so she won't be around me. It also seems like she wants to do everything but be alone with me. And when we finally are alone at night, she turns her back on me and rejects me. We haven't kissed in a month, I haven't held her, and (I hope this doesn't sound to materialistic) we haven't had sex this entire time.
I wonder if there is something wrong with her, and why won't she trust me enough to tell me?
Also, I hope I don't seem too image-obsessed but, Johanna hasn't gotten dressed up for me. Of course I know she doesn't always dress in her fancy clothes but hell, her pajamas used to have frogs before we got married! And lately all she's worn are dark sweatshirts and sweatpants. Oh, my love, what has you so stressed? What worries you so much that you can't share your worries with me? What has dared taken you out of the life and light which are so much a part of you?
"Hey, Gabriel? Yoo-hoo! Anyone in there?!"
I snap back into reality and am greeted by Rhoan waving his hands in front of my face.
"Yeah, I'm here," I reply quietly while picking up my fork and moving my salad around.
"Good, so like I was saying..."
Rhoan and I had gone out to get some dinner so he could eat, normally I wouldn't do this sort of human thing but Johanna is being odd and won't let me in. This leaves me with Rhoan, but it just isn't the same. I thought it could be, at least until Jo is back to normal, but it can't be. I can't hold Rhoan's hand, kiss his cheek, flirt with him...well, I could but it would be extremely weird!
"So what do you think?" He asks while shoving his burger into his mouth.
"I think I would like some coffee," I signal to the waitress and a few seconds later she is bringing a cup over and pouring some.
"Oooh, me too," he says with his mouth full as he flips over a spare cup on the table.
I grimace as he eats more of his burger and washes it down with steaming hot coffee.
As he opens his mouth, I continue, "So Johanna and I are having some problems. She won't show emotion to me. What did I do wrong?"
His left eye twitches and he sets down the unfinished half of his burger, "I didn't know that I would be playing therapist tonight. Well, let's start with the question 'What haven't you done wrong?'" He laughs but I don't, "Umm okay. When did she start acting weird?"
"Like a week after we got back."
"Wow, you've gone almost a month without talking to her?!"
"I know what you mean, Rhoan. You meant physicality not spirituality or emotionally. Yeah, I have gone all this time. I don't know what's wrong! She has no emotion, she isn't even angry at me. Just cold-shouldered."
"Well, have you tried taking charge? Just spin her around and plant one on her, then take her to your room and do your thing." He smiles wickedly and sips his coffee.
I lean back on the vinyl covered seat and stare at him before pulling some money out of my pocket, throwing it on the table, and then getting up and walking out of the diner.
A big part of me laughed at Rhoan's ridiculous answer, but a small part of me thought maybe it could work. There was only one way to find out and that was to ask a woman. I ran to Jordan's house and knocked on the door.
"Hey, Uncle Gabriel! I didn't know you were coming by tonight?"
"Hello, beautiful Sophia. I actually needed to have a grown up conversation with your mom."
"Wow, your first grown up conversation," she jokes as we walk down the hall.
"Oh, hey, Gabriel. What's up?" Jordan asks from her place at the bar top with house bills spread over the counter top.
"Sophia, adult time, please," I ask her.
She leaves with a roll of her eyes and a kiss on my cheek.
"Wow, adult things? What could possibly be so bad that Sophia can't hear?"
"Do girls like when guys take charge?" I ask quickly.
After the stunned look, Jordan speaks, "Huh?"
"Johanna hasn't been reacting to me. Rhoan thinks I should just pick her up and kiss her, would that work?"
"Umm, well," she stammers, "I like it when Josh grabs me sometimes. It makes me forget about what had me angry in the first place-"
"Okay, thanks!" I kiss her forehead quickly before running out of the house.
I crossed the field quickly and ran into the main house. It was empty, just like I expected it to be, Johanna was most likely at work avoiding me.
I decided that I would give romance one last try before I took Rhoan's advice.
I lit about a dozen candles and placed them around the room and dimmed the lights, it set the same kind of romantic mood that had filled the house of our first honeymoon. What increased the mood was the smell of wine that filled the house after I popped the cork off a merlot. Red wine sloshed into two wine glasses as I tipped the bottle on its side. As I sent Rhoan a text asking if he could stay out very late (or better yet stay with Jordan for the night) I had nothing to do but wait until Johanna came walking through the front door.
So many hours later when it was pitch black outside and it was a quarter to midnight, I heard the key in the door. I stood instantly with the two glasses of wine. The rush of wind from Johanna opening the door blew out all but 1 candle.
"Hey, Hun. How was work?" I ask sweetly.
She kind of glares at me as she sets down her bag and keys.
"I poured you some wine," I hand her the glass, "I thought we could chat a little and then go on upstairs."
I said this with my sexy voice! And with the most meaningful smile!
She returned my love and affection by standing next to the sink and pouring the wine down the drain.
"Johanna-"
Then she crosses the room and blows out the last lit candle.
I stood in shock while she trudged upstairs to get ready for bed. Wow. That's all I can say. After everything we have been through together? After all the secrets we've told each other? How can she be this cold to me?! I guess maybe I would have to resort to Rhoan's methods. I put my glass down on the counter and then climbed the stairs, my eyes forward set on their goal. I found Johanna lounging in bed, the sheet over her waist and her sweatshirt clad arms behind her head.
I turned up the stereo and then pinned Johanna to the bed.
"Gabriel! Get off!" She screams.
"I knew this would get a response from you."
"Gabriel! For God's sake, get off!"
She was fighting me, seriously pushing me away as if I were dangerous.
"I'm not dangerous, Johanna! You of all people know who and what I am."
"I-I know you aren't dangerous-"
"Then stop acting like I am," I growl.
A look of contemplation crosses her face before she puts one hand behind my neck and guides my lips to hers. She keeps her other hand in the center of my chest, always keeping my body separate from hers, but I didn't care, I was happy just for her to be talking to me again.
When we pull apart I flop onto my side of the bed.
"Johanna, you have no idea how relieved I am that you aren't mad at me. I just wish you would tell me what's wrong."
Before she could protest or push me away again, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her stomach.
"Gabriel, no!" She screams while pushing me away.
But she was to late, I had heard it. Of all the sounds in the room, the stereo, the caged birds, the dripping of the bathroom faucet, Johanna's heartbeat, what I heard coming from inside her didn't sound like any of those things. I heard a little flutter, like the heart of the birds, but larger, stronger.
I lept up from the bed and backed against the wall.
"Johanna-?"
"Gabriel, please let me explain-"
Before she could speak another word I pinned her hands above her head, as I grabbed her sweatshirt and lifted it up she did everything in her power to get away from me.
But I'm the vampire.
Sure as Hell, plain as day, there it was. A larger stomach, a bump. A baby bump.
I release her hands.
"Gabriel-"
"How? Who?"
"What do you mean 'who'? You of course!"
I turned, my eyes turning red and grabbed the cage of birds and started towards the window.
"Gabriel!" Her shrill scream cuts through the bass of the stereo, "If you throw those birds out there then so help me I will take myself and our unborn child and you will never, ever, see us again!"
My red eyes stare into her green ones, measuring the potential of her threat. The determination in her eyes won, I opened the cage door for the birds to take flight and once they were gone I threw the cage into the yard.
Vampire speed had me crouching over her on the bed.
"How? It isn't possible."
I'm a vampire. But that didn't stop Edward and Bella. Johanna can't have children, its clinically proven.
"Its a miracle," she replies.
My eyes turn black and I turn my back on her to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Gabriel, I didn't tell you because I was afraid this was how you'd act. I wanted to protect you-"
Her excuses continue, each one loses value to me.
"We're going to be having a baby."
Again. My second child. Great, I was so good at being a father the first time, God only knows what this time could be like.
Johanna shook me, she screamed my name.
I couldn't blink, I couldn't respond, my mind had captured me, rendering me useless and in shock.
Johanna left the room, the door hinges creaked as the door hit the wall.
All I heard was the bass and guitar coming from the stereo
'My first love broke my heart for the first time
And I was like...
Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)'
-Gabriel
We've been home for about a month now and I wonder what has happened to my marriage. It could just be me being paranoid but it seems like Johanna is working extra just so she won't be around me. It also seems like she wants to do everything but be alone with me. And when we finally are alone at night, she turns her back on me and rejects me. We haven't kissed in a month, I haven't held her, and (I hope this doesn't sound to materialistic) we haven't had sex this entire time.
I wonder if there is something wrong with her, and why won't she trust me enough to tell me?
Also, I hope I don't seem too image-obsessed but, Johanna hasn't gotten dressed up for me. Of course I know she doesn't always dress in her fancy clothes but hell, her pajamas used to have frogs before we got married! And lately all she's worn are dark sweatshirts and sweatpants. Oh, my love, what has you so stressed? What worries you so much that you can't share your worries with me? What has dared taken you out of the life and light which are so much a part of you?
"Hey, Gabriel? Yoo-hoo! Anyone in there?!"
I snap back into reality and am greeted by Rhoan waving his hands in front of my face.
"Yeah, I'm here," I reply quietly while picking up my fork and moving my salad around.
"Good, so like I was saying..."
Rhoan and I had gone out to get some dinner so he could eat, normally I wouldn't do this sort of human thing but Johanna is being odd and won't let me in. This leaves me with Rhoan, but it just isn't the same. I thought it could be, at least until Jo is back to normal, but it can't be. I can't hold Rhoan's hand, kiss his cheek, flirt with him...well, I could but it would be extremely weird!
"So what do you think?" He asks while shoving his burger into his mouth.
"I think I would like some coffee," I signal to the waitress and a few seconds later she is bringing a cup over and pouring some.
"Oooh, me too," he says with his mouth full as he flips over a spare cup on the table.
I grimace as he eats more of his burger and washes it down with steaming hot coffee.
As he opens his mouth, I continue, "So Johanna and I are having some problems. She won't show emotion to me. What did I do wrong?"
His left eye twitches and he sets down the unfinished half of his burger, "I didn't know that I would be playing therapist tonight. Well, let's start with the question 'What haven't you done wrong?'" He laughs but I don't, "Umm okay. When did she start acting weird?"
"Like a week after we got back."
"Wow, you've gone almost a month without talking to her?!"
"I know what you mean, Rhoan. You meant physicality not spirituality or emotionally. Yeah, I have gone all this time. I don't know what's wrong! She has no emotion, she isn't even angry at me. Just cold-shouldered."
"Well, have you tried taking charge? Just spin her around and plant one on her, then take her to your room and do your thing." He smiles wickedly and sips his coffee.
I lean back on the vinyl covered seat and stare at him before pulling some money out of my pocket, throwing it on the table, and then getting up and walking out of the diner.
A big part of me laughed at Rhoan's ridiculous answer, but a small part of me thought maybe it could work. There was only one way to find out and that was to ask a woman. I ran to Jordan's house and knocked on the door.
"Hey, Uncle Gabriel! I didn't know you were coming by tonight?"
"Hello, beautiful Sophia. I actually needed to have a grown up conversation with your mom."
"Wow, your first grown up conversation," she jokes as we walk down the hall.
"Oh, hey, Gabriel. What's up?" Jordan asks from her place at the bar top with house bills spread over the counter top.
"Sophia, adult time, please," I ask her.
She leaves with a roll of her eyes and a kiss on my cheek.
"Wow, adult things? What could possibly be so bad that Sophia can't hear?"
"Do girls like when guys take charge?" I ask quickly.
After the stunned look, Jordan speaks, "Huh?"
"Johanna hasn't been reacting to me. Rhoan thinks I should just pick her up and kiss her, would that work?"
"Umm, well," she stammers, "I like it when Josh grabs me sometimes. It makes me forget about what had me angry in the first place-"
"Okay, thanks!" I kiss her forehead quickly before running out of the house.
I crossed the field quickly and ran into the main house. It was empty, just like I expected it to be, Johanna was most likely at work avoiding me.
I decided that I would give romance one last try before I took Rhoan's advice.
I lit about a dozen candles and placed them around the room and dimmed the lights, it set the same kind of romantic mood that had filled the house of our first honeymoon. What increased the mood was the smell of wine that filled the house after I popped the cork off a merlot. Red wine sloshed into two wine glasses as I tipped the bottle on its side. As I sent Rhoan a text asking if he could stay out very late (or better yet stay with Jordan for the night) I had nothing to do but wait until Johanna came walking through the front door.
So many hours later when it was pitch black outside and it was a quarter to midnight, I heard the key in the door. I stood instantly with the two glasses of wine. The rush of wind from Johanna opening the door blew out all but 1 candle.
"Hey, Hun. How was work?" I ask sweetly.
She kind of glares at me as she sets down her bag and keys.
"I poured you some wine," I hand her the glass, "I thought we could chat a little and then go on upstairs."
I said this with my sexy voice! And with the most meaningful smile!
She returned my love and affection by standing next to the sink and pouring the wine down the drain.
"Johanna-"
Then she crosses the room and blows out the last lit candle.
I stood in shock while she trudged upstairs to get ready for bed. Wow. That's all I can say. After everything we have been through together? After all the secrets we've told each other? How can she be this cold to me?! I guess maybe I would have to resort to Rhoan's methods. I put my glass down on the counter and then climbed the stairs, my eyes forward set on their goal. I found Johanna lounging in bed, the sheet over her waist and her sweatshirt clad arms behind her head.
I turned up the stereo and then pinned Johanna to the bed.
"Gabriel! Get off!" She screams.
"I knew this would get a response from you."
"Gabriel! For God's sake, get off!"
She was fighting me, seriously pushing me away as if I were dangerous.
"I'm not dangerous, Johanna! You of all people know who and what I am."
"I-I know you aren't dangerous-"
"Then stop acting like I am," I growl.
A look of contemplation crosses her face before she puts one hand behind my neck and guides my lips to hers. She keeps her other hand in the center of my chest, always keeping my body separate from hers, but I didn't care, I was happy just for her to be talking to me again.
When we pull apart I flop onto my side of the bed.
"Johanna, you have no idea how relieved I am that you aren't mad at me. I just wish you would tell me what's wrong."
Before she could protest or push me away again, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my head on her stomach.
"Gabriel, no!" She screams while pushing me away.
But she was to late, I had heard it. Of all the sounds in the room, the stereo, the caged birds, the dripping of the bathroom faucet, Johanna's heartbeat, what I heard coming from inside her didn't sound like any of those things. I heard a little flutter, like the heart of the birds, but larger, stronger.
I lept up from the bed and backed against the wall.
"Johanna-?"
"Gabriel, please let me explain-"
Before she could speak another word I pinned her hands above her head, as I grabbed her sweatshirt and lifted it up she did everything in her power to get away from me.
But I'm the vampire.
Sure as Hell, plain as day, there it was. A larger stomach, a bump. A baby bump.
I release her hands.
"Gabriel-"
"How? Who?"
"What do you mean 'who'? You of course!"
I turned, my eyes turning red and grabbed the cage of birds and started towards the window.
"Gabriel!" Her shrill scream cuts through the bass of the stereo, "If you throw those birds out there then so help me I will take myself and our unborn child and you will never, ever, see us again!"
My red eyes stare into her green ones, measuring the potential of her threat. The determination in her eyes won, I opened the cage door for the birds to take flight and once they were gone I threw the cage into the yard.
Vampire speed had me crouching over her on the bed.
"How? It isn't possible."
I'm a vampire. But that didn't stop Edward and Bella. Johanna can't have children, its clinically proven.
"Its a miracle," she replies.
My eyes turn black and I turn my back on her to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Gabriel, I didn't tell you because I was afraid this was how you'd act. I wanted to protect you-"
Her excuses continue, each one loses value to me.
"We're going to be having a baby."
Again. My second child. Great, I was so good at being a father the first time, God only knows what this time could be like.
Johanna shook me, she screamed my name.
I couldn't blink, I couldn't respond, my mind had captured me, rendering me useless and in shock.
Johanna left the room, the door hinges creaked as the door hit the wall.
All I heard was the bass and guitar coming from the stereo
'My first love broke my heart for the first time
And I was like...
Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)
Baby, baby, baby oooh
Like baby, baby, baby nooo
Like baby, baby, baby oooh
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)'
-Gabriel