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Dear Diary
When I left you last time I had finished reading Tristan’s letter and it left me feeling angry, jealous, yes very jealous this Amelia sounded perfect too perfect and I wanted to hear the scary part so I could push the jealousy out. I was going to thank Tristan and try and convince him to tell me more but I was side tracked. Aro has summoned me, well not just me, Tristan, the happy meal, Demitri, Felix and my Brother he was finally out off his room he looked different distant all most I know he has lost his memory but how can he be so cold towards me, why maybe the happy meal has been filling his head with lies and he would believe her, I glared at Sarah she was stood by Felix and my brother, Aro suggested that Alec should venture outside to hunt for some food maybe the hunt would appeal to him more then blood bags been delivered, the happy meal and Felix where already picked to go out with Alec but Aro wanted one off us to go with them and it was Alec's choice, this made me excited surely he would chose me iam his sister after all, he walked up to me and stared at me, I smiled to show him how eager I was to go with him, he then passed me and chose Tristan, he chose him over me over his own sister, Tristan looked at me confused to why he had done this I smiled lightly to make him aware that I wasn’t annoyed but I was I was fuming, they left straight away and I was left with Aro and Demitri, Aro dismissed Demitri and he left un willing Demitri was always a great support when it concerned my brother,
"Jane Dear how are you?"
“I am Fine master.”
"Tell me the truth Jane.”
"Truthfully Master there is nothing wrong" I held out my hand for him to see he took it.
"Jane you can’t suppress your feelings you need to let them surface at some point I know you want everyone to think no one can hurt you but I can see he is."
"What do you want me to say master?"
"You’re both stubborn Jane dear do not give up on him he will come round."
"How do you expect me to believe that master he has that thing by his side constantly he hangs on her every word he thinks she is his sister he wished she was his sister and why do you think that is? She is manipulative and has him fooled." I spat out to him then regretting my behaviour.
"Sorry master there was no need for that outburst." I corrected myself and apologised, he didn’t have a look off disapproval like I thought he would.
"That’s what I wanted to hear Jane the truth on how you feel I can see it clearly my dear not by reading your thoughts but I can see the lost look in your eyes the spark has gone there are some things we have to accept my dear and the choice's your brother makes well are not in our control but please believe me when I say this Sarah has not been filling Alec's head with lies and you should remember she will be a queen soon and you are going to have obey her request."
"Yes then when she is queen I will be there to pick up what she has destroyed." I said ready to leave.
"Jane iam warning you now you are not allowed to cause harm to your queen to be."
"If she breaks his heart Master I will have no choice." I demanded “There are always choices Jane now please leave this discussion is over." Aro demanded.
"Yes sir." I left and went straight to my room feeling very angry if she hurt him then I would sacrifice everything to protect him I just wish he knew that. I didn’t realise that I had gotten one of my dolls and ripped its head off the porcelain body and crumpled it to dust that’s what I wanted to do to the happy meal. This was her fault, all of this, the memory loss all his hatred for me I could see it in his eyes the anger the disapproval maybe Tristan going was a good idea maybe he can get somewhere with him
When Tristan returned he came into my room picked me up and hugged me so tight he was shaking I asked him what was wrong and he didn’t say a word he kept me in his embrace he let me go after a long time, he stared into my eyes, his eyes where black odd I thought surely he would off hunted too, strange, Tristan still had hold off my arms he looked serious about something he started to shake me like a rag doll and I screamed at him "What.........."
"Jane are you listening to me?" He shouted.
"What you haven’t said a word to me why where you shaking me?"
"Jane I was talking to you did you not hear me?"
"No I was looking in your eyes they’re black why haven’t you fed?” Tristan pulled me into his embrace again this time I listened.” I will keep you safe Jane I will not let anything hurt you"
"Tristan what happened why are you acting so strange?"
He wouldn’t tell me and this frustrated me even more and I went a little crazy I must admit diary, I pushed Tristan out the door and screamed at him
"I cannot do this Tristan I can not go on with these secrets between us."
"Jane there are no secrets." He tried to soothe me by stroking my face, I grabbed his hand and twisted it in hope it would snap off.
"No secrets ok what just happened makes complete sense? What do I need protecting from? And that letter you gave me you promised you would explain everything." I screamed at him “I explained everything to you Jane why can’t you move on from this?" Tristan sounded angry and with his black eyes it made me tingle with excitement I wanted to just grab him and kiss him but I had more to say before we got lost in our passion
"I know about how perfect this Amelia was, it made me feel sick reading it Tristan why would I want to know how important she was to you why would I want to know that she was perfect? Great fantastic I feel so much better knowing that." I spat out.
"She wasn’t Perfect Jane far from it."
"This is my point Tristan I don’t know this do I you told me how wonderful she was you gave that impression then you say stuff like she wasn’t perfect, she is your worse fear why? What happened I just want to understand you a little more?"
"This wont make you understand me more Jane she is nothing to me she holds no interest to me so why do you need to know?"
"Ha I think not Tristan, you hold on to her that’s why you fear her because you’re not with her, that’s why you fear her isn’t it? What happened Tristan did she leave you for someone else is that why? Is that why you hold on to those memories you hate her for breaking your heart that’s the reason isn’t it dam it Tristan tell me iam wrong." I demanded
"I am not playing this Game Jane."
"I am not playing a Jane Tristan I just want to understand why, is that so hard to accept?"
"You want to understand how she took everything away from me? how she ruined my life, not just my human life but my immortal too I have to live with that memory for eternity I am sorry I don’t want to have to share that horror with you, have you thought that maybe I am protecting you by not telling you?"
"That’s rubbish Tristan you’re doing more damage by keeping his secret."
"Fine have it your way Jane you want to know what happened I will tell you only because I know we will not move on if I keep this to myself if this haunts you Jane I will not take any blame for it."
"Ha Nothing can haunt me Tristan I have seen things that would make you wish you had no eyes, so don’t feed me this shit just tell me."
I closed my door as he re entered my room this argument we were having more then likely echoed down the corridors for every one to hear but I didn’t care, I wanted the truth and I would not stop until I found it. As I turned Tristan was already sat on my sofa part of me wanted to sit next to him and comfort him he had a look off pain in his eyes the look he often wore when he was thinking, or if his past was bought up, maybe this would help him move on release this fear that he has, she has a hold of him still and I don’t like that, before Tristan came my fear was to lose my brother now Tristan has entered my world, my worst fear is to lose him, how can that suddenly change in the few months that he has been here.
Tristan bowed his head so I sat myself at my desk and swivelled the chair around, I waited patiently for him to speak he was taking his time I looked up to my dolls and had an urge to rearrange them as one in the middle was missing they where odd numbers now and I don’t like odd numbers one would have to turn to dust or I suppose I could buy another as my mind drifted off with these thoughts Tristan cleared his throat, I looked straight back at him with excitement, goody the story was about to begin.
"I guess I will start off from where I left you with the letter."
His voice sounded so husky like he hadn’t spoken for a very long it was a nice to hear the pain in his voice it excited me further. He cleared his throat once again.
"Amelia and I bumped into each other quite a bit after the Christmas party it was mainly in a cafe I liked to go to, I would find her there in her jeans and hoody sat at the sofa on her lap top, she looked like she was at home, she often had friends sit with her so at first I didn’t go over to her she would wink at me or wave, I would return the same gesture back, I was waiting for a time where she would be alone so I could sit with her, then one afternoon I received a message work was a little chaotic, we lost a million and we needed to work out how to get it back, I was really stressed out, I read the message and it read"
"Are you ill today? It’s just you haven’t come in for your coffee, I hope everything is ok ohh its Amelia if you didn’t know."
"I knew it was her I hadn’t had her number saved but my heart told me it was when it skipped a beat. I sent her a polite message back explaining work was being a bitch and I cant leave the office till I recover our loss looks like an all nighter. I hope you don’t have plans with your brother tonight as I will be keeping him in. I didn’t hear anything back and I felt pretty stupid maybe I pushed it too far I was ready to text her or ring her to say sorry when she turned up with cakes and coffee for me and her brother apparently, Henry had phoned her to cancel plans, apparently Thursday nights was their only night they blew off plans with anyone else and spend it together, each week one would chose what to do there bond was truly magical this was the first time he had done this, it made me humble that he would do that, stay with me and try and gain this money back. She spent the whole evening sat on Henry’s desk she would pop out and get food when Henry got grumpy, When we finally made the money back it was 1 am in the morning and I really couldn’t be bothered to travel home so I decided I would just stay at the hotel, I told the other staff that they where not allowed to lose any money while I was gone, but I would come back if I was needed. This was the first time I actually considered moving to London. Henry and Amelia lived in London, Camden market, they seem to love it so maybe I could move too I told Henry I would stop at a hotel and they both shouted at me and demanded I come back to there’s I couldn’t say no, not that I wanted to. I spent the rest of the morning getting to know Amelia and Henry a bit better. Henry was a little older then his sister he was 25 and she was 21 at the time same age as me. Henry had passed out on the sofa but Amelia and I stayed up, Amelia told me she didn’t know her parents but Henry could remember them vaguely they had both been put in to care and left to fend for themselves. I could see why that bond was so strong, they promised to look after each other no matter what, this did make me wonder if that was the reason why neither of them had partners they where both good looking and Henry did turn heads at the office, but he never seemed interested, I couldn’t say about Amelia but I bet she did."
This was truly boring me diary, when was he getting to the good bit, I sighed and I think he understood and moved the story on.
"So we spent the next year getting closer and I eventually moved to be closer to her and soon after we moved in together, Henry was very supportive of our relationship he was happy to have a free house he used to joke, it was amazing Jane it was like they adopted me into their family. Henry was like a brother and Amelia was then amazing, I felt truly charmed that I was living what seemed to be a perfect life, until that day came Henry and I were held up at work, Amelia said she was going out for a couple of drinks with friends instead, we finished for the day it wasn’t late and we were up for an evening out, London was a great place to party, I phoned her phone I got no answer I thought maybe she was in a club and couldn’t hear her phone, so Henry and I went to a bar and waited for her to call us to let us know were she was, she never did phone back. Henry phoned the friends she was suppose to be with they told us she sent them a message saying she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to stay in, she wasn’t at home she wasn’t answering her phone the police were involved, a big investigation was put in place its amazing what money can do well as you know Jane, she was lost another number on a missing persons list there was nothing more we could do but to hire private investigators to help, it was like she vanished."
"I pushed my self into my work it was the only way I knew how cope Henry did the same then one day he didn’t come in, it was the first time in a year that I hadn’t been at his home, he never got over the fact that he lost his sister, she was everything to him and to me too, when I could get out off work I went to his home to find him in pieces, it was hard to watch him sob like that, he had been so strong for me, I told him we would find her and we will be together again, he seemed to calm down, I was called away to work I didn’t want to leave him he was my brother off sorts and he was really upset, my gut told me not to leave but he demanded that I go sort it out or I would be pain in the arse if we lost some money, he was right I hated losing, just before I left he told me this."
"Thank you Tristan you are a true friend Amelia and I are lucky that you have been introduced into our lives you made my sister feel like she was the luckiest person alive and she was."
"I will never forget it, I was so stupid to leave him when I knew something wasn’t right He hugged me and asked me to by some think alcoholic that would make this nightmare seem bearable for one night I did as he requested I bought a bottle off whiskey that would do the job, I sorted the problem at work it took me less then an hour, when I returned I called for Henry he wasn’t downstairs I thought that maybe he went for a lay down so I went upstairs to see if he was sleeping, it would be good if he was, I remember thinking he really hadn’t slept since her disappearance I knocked on his door and peeked when he didn’t answer, he wasn’t there my heart started to beat faster in fear, I will never forget that feeling off claustrophobia, I knew something was wrong I knew I should never off left him something pulled me to look in his sister's room, he sometimes sat in there to remember the old days, when I opened the door what I saw made me collapse to the floor, I couldn’t breathe, I sat there all night not moving, Henry had taken his own life bullet to the head quick and simple, he wouldn’t off suffered he had given up, the request for the alcohol was for my benefit I realised later on, it was too much to take not only had I lost my love, but I lost a brother too."
"work became my life, not that it wasn’t my life before, but I never left the office, I stayed there never leaving, my temper grew and no one dared come near me just in case they would be sacked or there head bitten off, I was grieving, Henry was gone, Amelia had vanished, I had no one. Each day rolled into weeks, months, I lost track off the date or even the year, I was like a robot, I even considered ending it, I couldn’t see away moving on. The people I had been working with started to see the changes they tried to bring me out off this state but I didn’t want to feel anything anymore,"
" It was my birthday and I had decided this was the last one I would celebrate, I started to get my finances into order, I had no family it was just me so everything I had was going to go to charities, I sold the cars, everything, I had nothing to my name, seeing as this was going to be my last birthday I decided I would do it in style, I invited everyone from the office on a epic night out, I watched everyone drink them self stupid, then I saw her, the berry red shoulder length wavy hair, I felt my body jolt forward the way she was dancing took me back to a happy place, I made my way forward and called her name, but the music was to loud for anyone to hear me shouting but she did she turned around and it was Amelia, my Amelia, I grabbed her hand it was cold to cold, I noticed her whole complexion had changed, she looked better then the picture in my mind she looked shocked to see me, and then she was throwing her arms around me, I thought I had lost the plot and this was all in my mind, it had to be how could she be here dancing while she left me and her brother to suffer, there was a tall man standing with his arms crossed he looked like he worked out a bit, he stood there staring at me with a disgusted look on his face, she pulled out off our hug and turned to this other person, her lips where moving so fast and he looked really angry at her then he left, she then dragged me out off the club, I took my jacket off as she was so cold. She smiled and chuckled it sounded wrong it didn’t sound like her laugh, but it was her face, I stood there trying to work it out. she told me she had changed a little, I demanded to know her excuse to why she left she gave me a crap story about how she felt trapped and needed an escape, that was rubbish she would never leave her brother never, I asked how long she had been back for and she said, it was a passing visit they where leaving in a week, they rang in my head she found someone else, she moved on with her life, anger grew inside off me jealousy raged through my body. I yelled at her, You felt trapped so you left with out a word then settle with someone new while me and your brother searched for you, we grieved for you, are you even going to ask about your brother, she looked away by my harsh words and she asked how Henry was she didn’t look at me when she asked this, I grabbed her arm and made her look at me I told her Your brother is dead Amelia he couldn’t live with out you he took a gun and put a bullet in his head because you felt trapped. she told me she didn’t know off his death, and said he was better off dead, her words where cold they didn’t belong to her, that cruel voice didn’t match the face I wanted to see so badly to take all this pain away, it didn’t it made it worse, I lingered there just watching her, maybe it was the dark but her eyes looked black not chocolate warm brown, I was so use to seeing, the next thing I knew she was hissing she wasn’t looking at me some where behind me, I turned to see but nobody was there I turned back and the man I saw in the club was standing behind her he towed over her he must have been 7ft, her lips where moving but I couldn’t hear what she was saying, the man just stared at me with hatred he then snapped his head to her and was in front off her it looked like he was restraining her, anger raised up in me"
"as you know Jane I don’t like violence and yes u can roll your eyes at me any way he still had hold off her, I charged forward he was twice the size off me in height and body mass I grabbed his arm only to be stung by the coldness but I didn’t let go, I told him polity to take his hands off her he twisted his head towards me and laughed with a swift movement I was flying through the air, I knew he was big but how he did that left me dazed when I hit the ground he was there bending down, his cold hand around my throat" "she does not belong to you" he spoke cruelly, Amelia was there by my side in a flash she grabbed the mans waist and he was being flown into a wall as he flew my body jolted forward as he had his hand around my neck, Amelia was sat by me with a sad look, I tried to process what was happening, she told me she was sorry and asked if I was hurt, I didn’t know if I was, the shock off the experience made feel numb the man returned, he stood a meter away from me his lips moving so fast I turned to look at the girl I once knew, she nodded in his direction, how could they be talking, I turned back to him and he was gone, I tried to stand but my legs wouldn’t function, she pulled me up and smiled, Ahh that smile it was still the same" "come on lets get you a coffee u look like you need it" I wondered why she cared, where have you been I tried to ask but it came out in a whisper she still heard me she said she would try to explain the best she could, but there where answers I want that she might not be able to answer, this left me puzzled, I thought I knew her but it seems I never really did."
"we went to an all night cafe it was empty Amelia went to sit down, now that she was in the light, she looked frozen, I ordered some drinks and some soup for her, hoping that would warm her up, I wondered why I still cared she didn’t seem to care for me any more, if she did she wouldn’t have left, I sat at the table across from her, her eyes where black soul less almost, I started asking her questions, where had she been, why did she leave, was she happy, why she felt trapped, she didn’t answer any off them her, soup arrived and she looked at waitress with hunger, I was right to order the soup I thought how wrong I was, she played with it for a while and it bugged me she looked hungry why didn’t she eat. She told me that she never left that the Amelia I knew had died when she left, and that she wasn’t the same person I once new, And I should hold on to those happy memories because that person was gone and was never coming back, I didn’t understand how could she claim to be dead she was sat in front off me yes there where noticeable changes but it was still her. She told me how she forgotten how beautiful I was and how I make me her feel, she said the change over wiped that part, I demanded to know what that meant and she told me it was a bad idea that she was here, that hurt how could this be bad, she stood up and I grabbed her hand, I couldn’t let her go not now that I knew she was alive. I begged her, you cant leave me again Iam dead inside and for the first time I feel again, yes its not the feelings I wanted to feel the anger I felt I hated it, it doesn’t belong to me she sat back down she asked me if I really did feel dead she said she could take that away she would never off asked if she thought I had moved on I told her how could I move on that was observed, she left me with no warning she was my everything I told her I will never be anything with out her, she stood again she asked me to come with her if u truly felt that way and that there was away we could be together for ever, I jumped up and grabbed her hand that’s what I wanted more then anything I thought she was asking me to run away with her but she wasn’t she literally meant forever, she took me to this flat and the guy who attacked me was there, he didn’t seem happy that I was there she introduced us and she told me Sebastian saved her, she had been attacked and Sebastian stepped in and stole her. He chilled out a little when Amelia explained who I was that I was everything to her, she still felt like that even after the change I didn’t understand what she meant by the change they sat me down and Amelia asked me again" "Tristan this is your last chance you can leave now if u don’t want this but if you want to be with me this is the only way and there is no turning back this will be forever" I asked her if it meant forever with her and she smiled and said yes forever so I told her my life is nothing with out you and I didn’t plan on living much longer myself, if she could promise me that then yes I was all hers. she promised me forever she said she could guarantee it Sebastian and Amelia looked at each other there silent stare Sebastian stood he told me go with him, Amelia told me she will see me in a week and then she was gone"
"
" I asked Sebastian where was she going, he told me getting our lives sorted, he took me into a room with a bed and that was it nothing else, no windows nothing, he told me to sit on the bed I did as requested he was to big to fight with Amelia promised me I would be ok, I trusted her Sebastian sat beside me and started to explain what was going to happen he told me that I was going to suffer a great deal off pain but I shouldn’t worry as it will pass soon enough he told me not to be scared and when the change was complete I would be brand new, none off it made sense but I didn’t care I wanted Amelia forever and if a little pain was what I had to endure, then I could handle it. "
Tristan told me he wasn’t going to explain the change as I knew what it was like and that I would probably enjoy that part off the story more then he liked but that’s the best part the fire eating at your soul I guess I never really had one so it didn’t hurt me. I asked him to carry on as he was getting to the good bit, he still didn’t look pleased with me. What I can’t help being evil I thought oh wait yes I can.
"when I woke she was right, everything was new, for the first two days I didn’t know who I was, but the memories started to come back to me in a haze, Amelia wasn’t back yet and I felt like she had left again, my keeper Sebastian kept me in the house he told me that if I left now, the outside air would kill me instantly, he bought me food to keep the burning at a low he told me the burning in my throat was the air that had been filtered through into the flat, he told me the burning would ease and when I could control it then I could go out side, Amelia stayed away for three months I felt like I lost her again, but the pain was intensified the burning did ease, apparently the reason I craved blood was because my body craved air, but until it got use to it this way off living was the only way. SO I thought. when my food was bought to me it seemed so easy to take a life I charmed them apparently Sebastian had noticed and thought it was interesting Amelia came back I was with my food charming it, when she flipped out shouting at Sebastian demanding to know why I was flirting with a human he explained it to her and when I was done feeding he took the body and left me and Amelia alone, she acted strange around me nervous she didn’t come near me to begin with, she noted that only I could bring Something from my human days and she was glad because my green eyes Where way she would miss the most, she came closer to me really I needed her body close to mine her soft lips against mine."
I was getting rather angry at this point diary
"Yes Tristan I get the point"
"Are You jealous Jane?" Tristan asked.
"No don’t be absurd" I demanded.
"Mmmm yes if you say so." Tristan smiled
Tristan began again
"Any way she came closer to me and hugged me, it felt amazing the electricity that shocked through our body, then she jumped back with fear in her eyes she looked at me oddly then grabbed my hand she screamed at me words I didn’t understand, it wasn’t English the words she used I touched her face and she wouldn’t stop screaming, I wanted to comfort her make this pain stop, I wondered if it was the air hurting her but she was amuse to it now, I didn’t understand I didn’t want to let go off her Sebastian came storming in, she spoke in that language, I didn’t understand Sebastian pulled us apart and then he froze the same look off fear in his eyes, Amelia screamed At me to stop, but I wasn’t doing anything he collapsed in front off me, then I was flying out off the window Amelia and Sebastian pounced through the window, I had covered my mouth so the air would not kill me, they both looked ready to attack me, I begged her to stop growling at me Sebastian came at me and my instincts took over I ripped his head off and he smashed into pieces, Amelia screamed at me she demanded to know who got to me, that I played her for a fool, that I never loved her, I did love her more then anything, she promised me we would be together forever and now she was rejecting me, she demanded to know who I really was, I begged with her, it was me but she wouldn’t listen she charged at me, she pushed me into a wall, I went through the wall off this bottom flat, she was stood over me growling and then I was on top off her my hand around her throat and with a flick off my wrist she was gone, her body fell and I had held off her head, Jane that is my fear rejection and when ever I feel hurt I see her face those black eyes with fear, we where meant for each other in our human life and she dragged me over to this and ruined everything we had she lied to me they both did."This was his fear finally I got the story from him “That’s your fear Rejection?" I stopped myself from saying this other part to him ha rejection please that’s a poor excuse to hold on to her memory, rejection was all I knew and I didn’t hold on to that, I didn’t tell him that I was all excited to hear a horror story and he tells me that, its left me feeling like I need to be mean to someone, then she crept in my mind and yes this Amelia would do I would torture her for hurting my Tristan I mean who would believe that you cant go outside he did make me giggle inside but she damaged him and iam glad she is gone iam also extremely happy that he was to end her immortal life.
Tristan looks raw with emotion so I decided to take him out and treat him it was cloddy day, so we could go out and we spent the day breathing in air ha-ha I did have to wind him up about it I couldn’t help myself but he didn’t take it to heart, in fact I think he felt lighter that he wasn’t holding this secret to himself anymore, when we came back to the palace Tristan and I spent some time in Tristan’s room, I stayed in his embrace that was so much easier now that we knew what triggered off the fear and to be honest I would have sat in his lap and let him touch me because it made it feel real that he was here even if he was leaving in my fear I could handle it unlike some, her loss my gain.
I was sat on Tristan lap and Demitri was at Tristan’s door glaring at us, I jumped up and went to his side, I thought something had happened to my brother Demitri didn’t look happy. Demitri told me there was no news on my brother I relaxed a little.
Tristan invited Demitri to join us as I was mocking his taste in music, I really didn’t mind there where some songs, I wanted to listen to again but Tristan wasn’t going to learn that. Demitri walked away he still looked angry and I didn’t understand why he walked off, I called after him but he ignored me this infuriated me, how dare he ignore me I followed him and called after him again, he still refused to stop so I hit him with some pain I hadn’t used my gift for a while and this was the perfect time to make sure it hadn’t stopped working, I demanded to know why he ignored me and why he wouldn’t stop when I asked him to, when I finished punishing him he jumped up and started to attack me with his harsh words
"Ignored? You Jane! Who could ignore you?” I demanded to know what his problem was he was the one who disturbed us and walked off an ignored me why He was acting like this I didn’t know, Tristan held me and whispered in my ear "I think I know Jane." I looked at Tristan puzzled.
"Demitri Iam sorry if it feels like I have Taken Jane away from you but I love her and I will take care off her the best I can." Tristan told Demitri his voice was so soft and I knew he meant it, it made me smile but then I was confused about the conversation that had been taken? Tristan spelt it out for me I want dumb I thought and pouting "You dear." Tristan whispered in my ear his breath on my neck made me tingle then when it clicked I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter I asked Demitri why would I fall for him I mean seriously Demitri is not my type at all he is far to moody for my liking and he acts like an old nag sometimes, it would be like dating my grandmother, Demitri was getting really mad and this make me laugh more
"Good Luck Tristan because she will chew you up, and spit you out when she is done with you Demitri spat out I stopped laughing it actually took me by surprise I wasn’t expecting that come back he started to run and iam glad he did because I was ready to rip his head off Tristan turned me around and kissed me.
"Don’t worry I know you would never do that to me." It was nice to know that because all the things Tristan has been through and the trouble I know he had to accept how he felt for me.
We returned back to his room and listened to his music I really wanted one off these ipod, my next trip out I will get one and maybe one for my brother to show I do still care. after awhile Heidi passed Tristan’s room and told us she was going fishing, goody I thought, I could use a snack she bought us some food and there was one sent I smelt as they entered the palace, caramel very sweet smelling and I told Tristan that one will be mine we made our way to the hall they came in and Caius made me laugh by standing and welcoming them to hell, Demitri was in front off me and taking away my claim but He wasn’t feeding off her he actually stole her out off the room, I hissed at him and chose my self a fat juicy blood bag, he was a fighter even better, when I was done and cleaned up our mess, I went to find Demitri to see what he was playing at when I got to his room, I could still smell her and it made me thirsty all over again, I kicked Demitri’s door in and asked him why he stole my dinner it was extremely rude I spoke so quiet that the human wouldn’t hear but some how she did and she begged for death, I was happy to offer death for her it wouldn’t taste the same though when they want to die they taste kind off sour, but she still smelt good I gave the girl a glare, Demitri told me she was gifted, I asked Demitri if Aro knew off this and Demitri shock his head so I demanded that he kill her and give her what she wants, yes diary I was feeling very generous today, I would have kept her in my room strung her up were my now missing doll was and let her hang for a while so yes that’s about it diary you Have been well and truly updated its lucky I never get tired otherwise I would need a nap after this entry till next time.
Jane
When I left you last time I had finished reading Tristan’s letter and it left me feeling angry, jealous, yes very jealous this Amelia sounded perfect too perfect and I wanted to hear the scary part so I could push the jealousy out. I was going to thank Tristan and try and convince him to tell me more but I was side tracked. Aro has summoned me, well not just me, Tristan, the happy meal, Demitri, Felix and my Brother he was finally out off his room he looked different distant all most I know he has lost his memory but how can he be so cold towards me, why maybe the happy meal has been filling his head with lies and he would believe her, I glared at Sarah she was stood by Felix and my brother, Aro suggested that Alec should venture outside to hunt for some food maybe the hunt would appeal to him more then blood bags been delivered, the happy meal and Felix where already picked to go out with Alec but Aro wanted one off us to go with them and it was Alec's choice, this made me excited surely he would chose me iam his sister after all, he walked up to me and stared at me, I smiled to show him how eager I was to go with him, he then passed me and chose Tristan, he chose him over me over his own sister, Tristan looked at me confused to why he had done this I smiled lightly to make him aware that I wasn’t annoyed but I was I was fuming, they left straight away and I was left with Aro and Demitri, Aro dismissed Demitri and he left un willing Demitri was always a great support when it concerned my brother,
"Jane Dear how are you?"
“I am Fine master.”
"Tell me the truth Jane.”
"Truthfully Master there is nothing wrong" I held out my hand for him to see he took it.
"Jane you can’t suppress your feelings you need to let them surface at some point I know you want everyone to think no one can hurt you but I can see he is."
"What do you want me to say master?"
"You’re both stubborn Jane dear do not give up on him he will come round."
"How do you expect me to believe that master he has that thing by his side constantly he hangs on her every word he thinks she is his sister he wished she was his sister and why do you think that is? She is manipulative and has him fooled." I spat out to him then regretting my behaviour.
"Sorry master there was no need for that outburst." I corrected myself and apologised, he didn’t have a look off disapproval like I thought he would.
"That’s what I wanted to hear Jane the truth on how you feel I can see it clearly my dear not by reading your thoughts but I can see the lost look in your eyes the spark has gone there are some things we have to accept my dear and the choice's your brother makes well are not in our control but please believe me when I say this Sarah has not been filling Alec's head with lies and you should remember she will be a queen soon and you are going to have obey her request."
"Yes then when she is queen I will be there to pick up what she has destroyed." I said ready to leave.
"Jane iam warning you now you are not allowed to cause harm to your queen to be."
"If she breaks his heart Master I will have no choice." I demanded “There are always choices Jane now please leave this discussion is over." Aro demanded.
"Yes sir." I left and went straight to my room feeling very angry if she hurt him then I would sacrifice everything to protect him I just wish he knew that. I didn’t realise that I had gotten one of my dolls and ripped its head off the porcelain body and crumpled it to dust that’s what I wanted to do to the happy meal. This was her fault, all of this, the memory loss all his hatred for me I could see it in his eyes the anger the disapproval maybe Tristan going was a good idea maybe he can get somewhere with him
When Tristan returned he came into my room picked me up and hugged me so tight he was shaking I asked him what was wrong and he didn’t say a word he kept me in his embrace he let me go after a long time, he stared into my eyes, his eyes where black odd I thought surely he would off hunted too, strange, Tristan still had hold off my arms he looked serious about something he started to shake me like a rag doll and I screamed at him "What.........."
"Jane are you listening to me?" He shouted.
"What you haven’t said a word to me why where you shaking me?"
"Jane I was talking to you did you not hear me?"
"No I was looking in your eyes they’re black why haven’t you fed?” Tristan pulled me into his embrace again this time I listened.” I will keep you safe Jane I will not let anything hurt you"
"Tristan what happened why are you acting so strange?"
He wouldn’t tell me and this frustrated me even more and I went a little crazy I must admit diary, I pushed Tristan out the door and screamed at him
"I cannot do this Tristan I can not go on with these secrets between us."
"Jane there are no secrets." He tried to soothe me by stroking my face, I grabbed his hand and twisted it in hope it would snap off.
"No secrets ok what just happened makes complete sense? What do I need protecting from? And that letter you gave me you promised you would explain everything." I screamed at him “I explained everything to you Jane why can’t you move on from this?" Tristan sounded angry and with his black eyes it made me tingle with excitement I wanted to just grab him and kiss him but I had more to say before we got lost in our passion
"I know about how perfect this Amelia was, it made me feel sick reading it Tristan why would I want to know how important she was to you why would I want to know that she was perfect? Great fantastic I feel so much better knowing that." I spat out.
"She wasn’t Perfect Jane far from it."
"This is my point Tristan I don’t know this do I you told me how wonderful she was you gave that impression then you say stuff like she wasn’t perfect, she is your worse fear why? What happened I just want to understand you a little more?"
"This wont make you understand me more Jane she is nothing to me she holds no interest to me so why do you need to know?"
"Ha I think not Tristan, you hold on to her that’s why you fear her because you’re not with her, that’s why you fear her isn’t it? What happened Tristan did she leave you for someone else is that why? Is that why you hold on to those memories you hate her for breaking your heart that’s the reason isn’t it dam it Tristan tell me iam wrong." I demanded
"I am not playing this Game Jane."
"I am not playing a Jane Tristan I just want to understand why, is that so hard to accept?"
"You want to understand how she took everything away from me? how she ruined my life, not just my human life but my immortal too I have to live with that memory for eternity I am sorry I don’t want to have to share that horror with you, have you thought that maybe I am protecting you by not telling you?"
"That’s rubbish Tristan you’re doing more damage by keeping his secret."
"Fine have it your way Jane you want to know what happened I will tell you only because I know we will not move on if I keep this to myself if this haunts you Jane I will not take any blame for it."
"Ha Nothing can haunt me Tristan I have seen things that would make you wish you had no eyes, so don’t feed me this shit just tell me."
I closed my door as he re entered my room this argument we were having more then likely echoed down the corridors for every one to hear but I didn’t care, I wanted the truth and I would not stop until I found it. As I turned Tristan was already sat on my sofa part of me wanted to sit next to him and comfort him he had a look off pain in his eyes the look he often wore when he was thinking, or if his past was bought up, maybe this would help him move on release this fear that he has, she has a hold of him still and I don’t like that, before Tristan came my fear was to lose my brother now Tristan has entered my world, my worst fear is to lose him, how can that suddenly change in the few months that he has been here.
Tristan bowed his head so I sat myself at my desk and swivelled the chair around, I waited patiently for him to speak he was taking his time I looked up to my dolls and had an urge to rearrange them as one in the middle was missing they where odd numbers now and I don’t like odd numbers one would have to turn to dust or I suppose I could buy another as my mind drifted off with these thoughts Tristan cleared his throat, I looked straight back at him with excitement, goody the story was about to begin.
"I guess I will start off from where I left you with the letter."
His voice sounded so husky like he hadn’t spoken for a very long it was a nice to hear the pain in his voice it excited me further. He cleared his throat once again.
"Amelia and I bumped into each other quite a bit after the Christmas party it was mainly in a cafe I liked to go to, I would find her there in her jeans and hoody sat at the sofa on her lap top, she looked like she was at home, she often had friends sit with her so at first I didn’t go over to her she would wink at me or wave, I would return the same gesture back, I was waiting for a time where she would be alone so I could sit with her, then one afternoon I received a message work was a little chaotic, we lost a million and we needed to work out how to get it back, I was really stressed out, I read the message and it read"
"Are you ill today? It’s just you haven’t come in for your coffee, I hope everything is ok ohh its Amelia if you didn’t know."
"I knew it was her I hadn’t had her number saved but my heart told me it was when it skipped a beat. I sent her a polite message back explaining work was being a bitch and I cant leave the office till I recover our loss looks like an all nighter. I hope you don’t have plans with your brother tonight as I will be keeping him in. I didn’t hear anything back and I felt pretty stupid maybe I pushed it too far I was ready to text her or ring her to say sorry when she turned up with cakes and coffee for me and her brother apparently, Henry had phoned her to cancel plans, apparently Thursday nights was their only night they blew off plans with anyone else and spend it together, each week one would chose what to do there bond was truly magical this was the first time he had done this, it made me humble that he would do that, stay with me and try and gain this money back. She spent the whole evening sat on Henry’s desk she would pop out and get food when Henry got grumpy, When we finally made the money back it was 1 am in the morning and I really couldn’t be bothered to travel home so I decided I would just stay at the hotel, I told the other staff that they where not allowed to lose any money while I was gone, but I would come back if I was needed. This was the first time I actually considered moving to London. Henry and Amelia lived in London, Camden market, they seem to love it so maybe I could move too I told Henry I would stop at a hotel and they both shouted at me and demanded I come back to there’s I couldn’t say no, not that I wanted to. I spent the rest of the morning getting to know Amelia and Henry a bit better. Henry was a little older then his sister he was 25 and she was 21 at the time same age as me. Henry had passed out on the sofa but Amelia and I stayed up, Amelia told me she didn’t know her parents but Henry could remember them vaguely they had both been put in to care and left to fend for themselves. I could see why that bond was so strong, they promised to look after each other no matter what, this did make me wonder if that was the reason why neither of them had partners they where both good looking and Henry did turn heads at the office, but he never seemed interested, I couldn’t say about Amelia but I bet she did."
This was truly boring me diary, when was he getting to the good bit, I sighed and I think he understood and moved the story on.
"So we spent the next year getting closer and I eventually moved to be closer to her and soon after we moved in together, Henry was very supportive of our relationship he was happy to have a free house he used to joke, it was amazing Jane it was like they adopted me into their family. Henry was like a brother and Amelia was then amazing, I felt truly charmed that I was living what seemed to be a perfect life, until that day came Henry and I were held up at work, Amelia said she was going out for a couple of drinks with friends instead, we finished for the day it wasn’t late and we were up for an evening out, London was a great place to party, I phoned her phone I got no answer I thought maybe she was in a club and couldn’t hear her phone, so Henry and I went to a bar and waited for her to call us to let us know were she was, she never did phone back. Henry phoned the friends she was suppose to be with they told us she sent them a message saying she wasn’t feeling well and wanted to stay in, she wasn’t at home she wasn’t answering her phone the police were involved, a big investigation was put in place its amazing what money can do well as you know Jane, she was lost another number on a missing persons list there was nothing more we could do but to hire private investigators to help, it was like she vanished."
"I pushed my self into my work it was the only way I knew how cope Henry did the same then one day he didn’t come in, it was the first time in a year that I hadn’t been at his home, he never got over the fact that he lost his sister, she was everything to him and to me too, when I could get out off work I went to his home to find him in pieces, it was hard to watch him sob like that, he had been so strong for me, I told him we would find her and we will be together again, he seemed to calm down, I was called away to work I didn’t want to leave him he was my brother off sorts and he was really upset, my gut told me not to leave but he demanded that I go sort it out or I would be pain in the arse if we lost some money, he was right I hated losing, just before I left he told me this."
"Thank you Tristan you are a true friend Amelia and I are lucky that you have been introduced into our lives you made my sister feel like she was the luckiest person alive and she was."
"I will never forget it, I was so stupid to leave him when I knew something wasn’t right He hugged me and asked me to by some think alcoholic that would make this nightmare seem bearable for one night I did as he requested I bought a bottle off whiskey that would do the job, I sorted the problem at work it took me less then an hour, when I returned I called for Henry he wasn’t downstairs I thought that maybe he went for a lay down so I went upstairs to see if he was sleeping, it would be good if he was, I remember thinking he really hadn’t slept since her disappearance I knocked on his door and peeked when he didn’t answer, he wasn’t there my heart started to beat faster in fear, I will never forget that feeling off claustrophobia, I knew something was wrong I knew I should never off left him something pulled me to look in his sister's room, he sometimes sat in there to remember the old days, when I opened the door what I saw made me collapse to the floor, I couldn’t breathe, I sat there all night not moving, Henry had taken his own life bullet to the head quick and simple, he wouldn’t off suffered he had given up, the request for the alcohol was for my benefit I realised later on, it was too much to take not only had I lost my love, but I lost a brother too."
"work became my life, not that it wasn’t my life before, but I never left the office, I stayed there never leaving, my temper grew and no one dared come near me just in case they would be sacked or there head bitten off, I was grieving, Henry was gone, Amelia had vanished, I had no one. Each day rolled into weeks, months, I lost track off the date or even the year, I was like a robot, I even considered ending it, I couldn’t see away moving on. The people I had been working with started to see the changes they tried to bring me out off this state but I didn’t want to feel anything anymore,"
" It was my birthday and I had decided this was the last one I would celebrate, I started to get my finances into order, I had no family it was just me so everything I had was going to go to charities, I sold the cars, everything, I had nothing to my name, seeing as this was going to be my last birthday I decided I would do it in style, I invited everyone from the office on a epic night out, I watched everyone drink them self stupid, then I saw her, the berry red shoulder length wavy hair, I felt my body jolt forward the way she was dancing took me back to a happy place, I made my way forward and called her name, but the music was to loud for anyone to hear me shouting but she did she turned around and it was Amelia, my Amelia, I grabbed her hand it was cold to cold, I noticed her whole complexion had changed, she looked better then the picture in my mind she looked shocked to see me, and then she was throwing her arms around me, I thought I had lost the plot and this was all in my mind, it had to be how could she be here dancing while she left me and her brother to suffer, there was a tall man standing with his arms crossed he looked like he worked out a bit, he stood there staring at me with a disgusted look on his face, she pulled out off our hug and turned to this other person, her lips where moving so fast and he looked really angry at her then he left, she then dragged me out off the club, I took my jacket off as she was so cold. She smiled and chuckled it sounded wrong it didn’t sound like her laugh, but it was her face, I stood there trying to work it out. she told me she had changed a little, I demanded to know her excuse to why she left she gave me a crap story about how she felt trapped and needed an escape, that was rubbish she would never leave her brother never, I asked how long she had been back for and she said, it was a passing visit they where leaving in a week, they rang in my head she found someone else, she moved on with her life, anger grew inside off me jealousy raged through my body. I yelled at her, You felt trapped so you left with out a word then settle with someone new while me and your brother searched for you, we grieved for you, are you even going to ask about your brother, she looked away by my harsh words and she asked how Henry was she didn’t look at me when she asked this, I grabbed her arm and made her look at me I told her Your brother is dead Amelia he couldn’t live with out you he took a gun and put a bullet in his head because you felt trapped. she told me she didn’t know off his death, and said he was better off dead, her words where cold they didn’t belong to her, that cruel voice didn’t match the face I wanted to see so badly to take all this pain away, it didn’t it made it worse, I lingered there just watching her, maybe it was the dark but her eyes looked black not chocolate warm brown, I was so use to seeing, the next thing I knew she was hissing she wasn’t looking at me some where behind me, I turned to see but nobody was there I turned back and the man I saw in the club was standing behind her he towed over her he must have been 7ft, her lips where moving but I couldn’t hear what she was saying, the man just stared at me with hatred he then snapped his head to her and was in front off her it looked like he was restraining her, anger raised up in me"
"as you know Jane I don’t like violence and yes u can roll your eyes at me any way he still had hold off her, I charged forward he was twice the size off me in height and body mass I grabbed his arm only to be stung by the coldness but I didn’t let go, I told him polity to take his hands off her he twisted his head towards me and laughed with a swift movement I was flying through the air, I knew he was big but how he did that left me dazed when I hit the ground he was there bending down, his cold hand around my throat" "she does not belong to you" he spoke cruelly, Amelia was there by my side in a flash she grabbed the mans waist and he was being flown into a wall as he flew my body jolted forward as he had his hand around my neck, Amelia was sat by me with a sad look, I tried to process what was happening, she told me she was sorry and asked if I was hurt, I didn’t know if I was, the shock off the experience made feel numb the man returned, he stood a meter away from me his lips moving so fast I turned to look at the girl I once knew, she nodded in his direction, how could they be talking, I turned back to him and he was gone, I tried to stand but my legs wouldn’t function, she pulled me up and smiled, Ahh that smile it was still the same" "come on lets get you a coffee u look like you need it" I wondered why she cared, where have you been I tried to ask but it came out in a whisper she still heard me she said she would try to explain the best she could, but there where answers I want that she might not be able to answer, this left me puzzled, I thought I knew her but it seems I never really did."
"we went to an all night cafe it was empty Amelia went to sit down, now that she was in the light, she looked frozen, I ordered some drinks and some soup for her, hoping that would warm her up, I wondered why I still cared she didn’t seem to care for me any more, if she did she wouldn’t have left, I sat at the table across from her, her eyes where black soul less almost, I started asking her questions, where had she been, why did she leave, was she happy, why she felt trapped, she didn’t answer any off them her, soup arrived and she looked at waitress with hunger, I was right to order the soup I thought how wrong I was, she played with it for a while and it bugged me she looked hungry why didn’t she eat. She told me that she never left that the Amelia I knew had died when she left, and that she wasn’t the same person I once new, And I should hold on to those happy memories because that person was gone and was never coming back, I didn’t understand how could she claim to be dead she was sat in front off me yes there where noticeable changes but it was still her. She told me how she forgotten how beautiful I was and how I make me her feel, she said the change over wiped that part, I demanded to know what that meant and she told me it was a bad idea that she was here, that hurt how could this be bad, she stood up and I grabbed her hand, I couldn’t let her go not now that I knew she was alive. I begged her, you cant leave me again Iam dead inside and for the first time I feel again, yes its not the feelings I wanted to feel the anger I felt I hated it, it doesn’t belong to me she sat back down she asked me if I really did feel dead she said she could take that away she would never off asked if she thought I had moved on I told her how could I move on that was observed, she left me with no warning she was my everything I told her I will never be anything with out her, she stood again she asked me to come with her if u truly felt that way and that there was away we could be together for ever, I jumped up and grabbed her hand that’s what I wanted more then anything I thought she was asking me to run away with her but she wasn’t she literally meant forever, she took me to this flat and the guy who attacked me was there, he didn’t seem happy that I was there she introduced us and she told me Sebastian saved her, she had been attacked and Sebastian stepped in and stole her. He chilled out a little when Amelia explained who I was that I was everything to her, she still felt like that even after the change I didn’t understand what she meant by the change they sat me down and Amelia asked me again" "Tristan this is your last chance you can leave now if u don’t want this but if you want to be with me this is the only way and there is no turning back this will be forever" I asked her if it meant forever with her and she smiled and said yes forever so I told her my life is nothing with out you and I didn’t plan on living much longer myself, if she could promise me that then yes I was all hers. she promised me forever she said she could guarantee it Sebastian and Amelia looked at each other there silent stare Sebastian stood he told me go with him, Amelia told me she will see me in a week and then she was gone"
"
" I asked Sebastian where was she going, he told me getting our lives sorted, he took me into a room with a bed and that was it nothing else, no windows nothing, he told me to sit on the bed I did as requested he was to big to fight with Amelia promised me I would be ok, I trusted her Sebastian sat beside me and started to explain what was going to happen he told me that I was going to suffer a great deal off pain but I shouldn’t worry as it will pass soon enough he told me not to be scared and when the change was complete I would be brand new, none off it made sense but I didn’t care I wanted Amelia forever and if a little pain was what I had to endure, then I could handle it. "
Tristan told me he wasn’t going to explain the change as I knew what it was like and that I would probably enjoy that part off the story more then he liked but that’s the best part the fire eating at your soul I guess I never really had one so it didn’t hurt me. I asked him to carry on as he was getting to the good bit, he still didn’t look pleased with me. What I can’t help being evil I thought oh wait yes I can.
"when I woke she was right, everything was new, for the first two days I didn’t know who I was, but the memories started to come back to me in a haze, Amelia wasn’t back yet and I felt like she had left again, my keeper Sebastian kept me in the house he told me that if I left now, the outside air would kill me instantly, he bought me food to keep the burning at a low he told me the burning in my throat was the air that had been filtered through into the flat, he told me the burning would ease and when I could control it then I could go out side, Amelia stayed away for three months I felt like I lost her again, but the pain was intensified the burning did ease, apparently the reason I craved blood was because my body craved air, but until it got use to it this way off living was the only way. SO I thought. when my food was bought to me it seemed so easy to take a life I charmed them apparently Sebastian had noticed and thought it was interesting Amelia came back I was with my food charming it, when she flipped out shouting at Sebastian demanding to know why I was flirting with a human he explained it to her and when I was done feeding he took the body and left me and Amelia alone, she acted strange around me nervous she didn’t come near me to begin with, she noted that only I could bring Something from my human days and she was glad because my green eyes Where way she would miss the most, she came closer to me really I needed her body close to mine her soft lips against mine."
I was getting rather angry at this point diary
"Yes Tristan I get the point"
"Are You jealous Jane?" Tristan asked.
"No don’t be absurd" I demanded.
"Mmmm yes if you say so." Tristan smiled
Tristan began again
"Any way she came closer to me and hugged me, it felt amazing the electricity that shocked through our body, then she jumped back with fear in her eyes she looked at me oddly then grabbed my hand she screamed at me words I didn’t understand, it wasn’t English the words she used I touched her face and she wouldn’t stop screaming, I wanted to comfort her make this pain stop, I wondered if it was the air hurting her but she was amuse to it now, I didn’t understand I didn’t want to let go off her Sebastian came storming in, she spoke in that language, I didn’t understand Sebastian pulled us apart and then he froze the same look off fear in his eyes, Amelia screamed At me to stop, but I wasn’t doing anything he collapsed in front off me, then I was flying out off the window Amelia and Sebastian pounced through the window, I had covered my mouth so the air would not kill me, they both looked ready to attack me, I begged her to stop growling at me Sebastian came at me and my instincts took over I ripped his head off and he smashed into pieces, Amelia screamed at me she demanded to know who got to me, that I played her for a fool, that I never loved her, I did love her more then anything, she promised me we would be together forever and now she was rejecting me, she demanded to know who I really was, I begged with her, it was me but she wouldn’t listen she charged at me, she pushed me into a wall, I went through the wall off this bottom flat, she was stood over me growling and then I was on top off her my hand around her throat and with a flick off my wrist she was gone, her body fell and I had held off her head, Jane that is my fear rejection and when ever I feel hurt I see her face those black eyes with fear, we where meant for each other in our human life and she dragged me over to this and ruined everything we had she lied to me they both did."This was his fear finally I got the story from him “That’s your fear Rejection?" I stopped myself from saying this other part to him ha rejection please that’s a poor excuse to hold on to her memory, rejection was all I knew and I didn’t hold on to that, I didn’t tell him that I was all excited to hear a horror story and he tells me that, its left me feeling like I need to be mean to someone, then she crept in my mind and yes this Amelia would do I would torture her for hurting my Tristan I mean who would believe that you cant go outside he did make me giggle inside but she damaged him and iam glad she is gone iam also extremely happy that he was to end her immortal life.
Tristan looks raw with emotion so I decided to take him out and treat him it was cloddy day, so we could go out and we spent the day breathing in air ha-ha I did have to wind him up about it I couldn’t help myself but he didn’t take it to heart, in fact I think he felt lighter that he wasn’t holding this secret to himself anymore, when we came back to the palace Tristan and I spent some time in Tristan’s room, I stayed in his embrace that was so much easier now that we knew what triggered off the fear and to be honest I would have sat in his lap and let him touch me because it made it feel real that he was here even if he was leaving in my fear I could handle it unlike some, her loss my gain.
I was sat on Tristan lap and Demitri was at Tristan’s door glaring at us, I jumped up and went to his side, I thought something had happened to my brother Demitri didn’t look happy. Demitri told me there was no news on my brother I relaxed a little.
Tristan invited Demitri to join us as I was mocking his taste in music, I really didn’t mind there where some songs, I wanted to listen to again but Tristan wasn’t going to learn that. Demitri walked away he still looked angry and I didn’t understand why he walked off, I called after him but he ignored me this infuriated me, how dare he ignore me I followed him and called after him again, he still refused to stop so I hit him with some pain I hadn’t used my gift for a while and this was the perfect time to make sure it hadn’t stopped working, I demanded to know why he ignored me and why he wouldn’t stop when I asked him to, when I finished punishing him he jumped up and started to attack me with his harsh words
"Ignored? You Jane! Who could ignore you?” I demanded to know what his problem was he was the one who disturbed us and walked off an ignored me why He was acting like this I didn’t know, Tristan held me and whispered in my ear "I think I know Jane." I looked at Tristan puzzled.
"Demitri Iam sorry if it feels like I have Taken Jane away from you but I love her and I will take care off her the best I can." Tristan told Demitri his voice was so soft and I knew he meant it, it made me smile but then I was confused about the conversation that had been taken? Tristan spelt it out for me I want dumb I thought and pouting "You dear." Tristan whispered in my ear his breath on my neck made me tingle then when it clicked I couldn’t help but burst out in laughter I asked Demitri why would I fall for him I mean seriously Demitri is not my type at all he is far to moody for my liking and he acts like an old nag sometimes, it would be like dating my grandmother, Demitri was getting really mad and this make me laugh more
"Good Luck Tristan because she will chew you up, and spit you out when she is done with you Demitri spat out I stopped laughing it actually took me by surprise I wasn’t expecting that come back he started to run and iam glad he did because I was ready to rip his head off Tristan turned me around and kissed me.
"Don’t worry I know you would never do that to me." It was nice to know that because all the things Tristan has been through and the trouble I know he had to accept how he felt for me.
We returned back to his room and listened to his music I really wanted one off these ipod, my next trip out I will get one and maybe one for my brother to show I do still care. after awhile Heidi passed Tristan’s room and told us she was going fishing, goody I thought, I could use a snack she bought us some food and there was one sent I smelt as they entered the palace, caramel very sweet smelling and I told Tristan that one will be mine we made our way to the hall they came in and Caius made me laugh by standing and welcoming them to hell, Demitri was in front off me and taking away my claim but He wasn’t feeding off her he actually stole her out off the room, I hissed at him and chose my self a fat juicy blood bag, he was a fighter even better, when I was done and cleaned up our mess, I went to find Demitri to see what he was playing at when I got to his room, I could still smell her and it made me thirsty all over again, I kicked Demitri’s door in and asked him why he stole my dinner it was extremely rude I spoke so quiet that the human wouldn’t hear but some how she did and she begged for death, I was happy to offer death for her it wouldn’t taste the same though when they want to die they taste kind off sour, but she still smelt good I gave the girl a glare, Demitri told me she was gifted, I asked Demitri if Aro knew off this and Demitri shock his head so I demanded that he kill her and give her what she wants, yes diary I was feeling very generous today, I would have kept her in my room strung her up were my now missing doll was and let her hang for a while so yes that’s about it diary you Have been well and truly updated its lucky I never get tired otherwise I would need a nap after this entry till next time.
Jane
