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LETS HIT THE ROAD...continued(Johanna's POV)
February 20th, 2013
Dear Diary,
I'm really excited to finally see where Gabriel came from and to learn why he is the way he is.
The plane lands and then we have to take a car for 2 hours. I don't mind really. And as the city turns into country I begin to see why Gabriel loves it here. Gabriel tells me that his town hasn't much changed since the 1300s except that there are more houses and new stores.
I think about asking where we will stay but it doesn't really matter, we'll think of something.
Gabriel seems to be in a far away place as we walk through the town. Its quaint shops and kind people captivate me as us newcomers must captivate them. We enter a few of the antique shops, Gabriel being detached the entire time. I don't say anything to him, maybe he's reminiscing.
Its beginning to get dark so I ask Gabriel if we can get something to eat.
Without hesitating, he takes me down the street to a really nice outdoor restaurant. As I'm eating he says, "This was my favorite place to eat back in those days. It was so simple and so...." He searches for the right word, "It just wasn't home."
"So it was like a tavern?" I ask between bites.
"No 'like'. It was a tavern."
"Oh, okay." I say while concentrating on my food again.
We sit in silence as I eat something native to Russia. I didn't ask what I was eating and I'm not really sure I want to know what it is lol.
After I ate, we started walking down the streets. Soon, Gabriel stopped short. I was about to ask what it was when he scooped me into my arms and ran me down the streets and over a hill.
"Its here! I can't believe its still here!" Gabriel keeps repeating.
"What is?" I ask as he sets me down backwards.
"My home." He spins me around to stare at the monstrous mansion looming over me. It. Was. Gorgeous! The exterior not only radiated beauty and elegance, but it radiated that feeling of home.
"I can't believe they kept it and in such great shape too!" Gabriel is as excited as a kid in a candy store. I'm happy for him, but I can't help but feel a little lost.
"They?"
"My brothers. Filip and Yasha. And then their sons, and the sons of their sons." I smiled at how much he seemed to love the house.
"Is it safe for us to stay in? The wood isn't rotted or anything?"
"Of course its safe!" He pushes open the front doors, "Its fairly new wood and paint, but it looks exactly the same as when I last saw it."
Gabriel gave me the grand tour, and told me about his siblings that I didn't know he had. Gabriel let's me stay in his younger sister, Galina's, room while he stays in his own room.
For some reason, Diary, I didn't sleep well that night. Whether it was the time difference or the feeling of unease from his new mood, I couldn't be sure. I was haunted by Gabriel's past, a past I knew nothing about.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of the lawn being mowed. Immediately I knew that Gabriel was the one doing it, and a part of me wondered if he was up first thing in the morning waiting outside the store until it would open so he could buy a lawn mower. I peeked my head out the window, and sure enough, there he was pushing the machine across the yard.
Since my beloved was in his own little world making his home the pride of Russia, I decided not to bother him and instead got dressed and went into town for breakfast. It was a lovely morning and everyone greeted me with great kindness.
I used my very limited russian vocabulary to ask for eggs and milk. But instead I got 3 chickens and a goat....
My only question is why? I said nothing about goats! At least...I'm almost positive about that.
So I took my 3 chickens and 1 goat and walked back to Gabriel's house. I found him sitting in the kitchen.
"Alright. What did I do wrong?"
He let's out a laugh, a wonderful laugh. Its deep and sensitive, his whole heart is behind it.
"What exactly did you say, love?"
Love. He called me love. Gabriel makes my heart melt and re-melt over and over again, he really is too sweet.
I repeat what I said to the guy at the diner.
Again, Gabriel let's out a deep laugh, "Oh, Johanna," my name sounds beautiful when he says it, "That's not how you ask for a plate of scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. You really did ask for 3 chickens and a goat." He laughs and I stare at the animals with a look of dumbfounded- ness on my face.
"Well, hey." He pulls me into his lap, "You can still get eggs and milk from these animals, you just gotta work a little harder."
So I did just that. Gabriel helped me build a little chicken coop and shelter for the goat, then I was able to get my food and odd goat milk. After I was done with the animals, I planted some flowers and got rid of weeds.
When all that was done Gabriel looked perfect and ready to do it again...I looked sweaty and dirty and was about to pass out from exhaustion. I took a shower and changed into some sweat pants and a tank top, ready for bed! But Gabriel was wearing nice pants and a nice shirt.
"Are you going somewhere? Are WE going somewhere?" I ask curious.
"I want to go visit my daughter...and wife...and brother...I want you to come with me."
I was kind of shocked. Well, shouldn't he do that alone?!? Why would he want me to be there? Its his first time back sine 1390 and I would have thought that he would have liked some privacy. But maybe he's scared?
"Sure." I reply slowly, "Let me just put on something more appropriate for visiting a grave." I slowly turn and walk back up the staircase. I choose a strapless midnight blue colored dress and I let my hair fall over my shoulders.
When I came downstairs Gabriel was still happy, smiling even! But I wasn't sure how long this would last and what kind of mood would soon be approaching me. I guess all I could hope for was the best. Gabriel led me out the back door and into a nearby forest. The forest gave way to a field and just beyond that field was a weeping willow tree, and next to that tree were tombstones. Gabriel was still happy, that is, until we stood right in front of the graves and read the names:
Natalia Ryashubinski
Catia Ryashubinski
Nikolai Ryashubinski
Gabriel collapsed onto the dirt in front of Catia's grave. He said a whole bunch of stuff in russian and the only words I understood were 'love', 'Natalia' and 'Catia'.
Well, how was I supposed to feel? I felt like an intruder, like I didn't belong there. It felt rude to be standing in the back, not saying anything, not even knowing what to think or who they were! All I knew about them was that they were Gabriel's brother, wife, and daughter.
Catia I could at least imagine. In my shared dreams with Gabriel she was often there with us, smiling and happy to see her father. It actually felt weird to imagine Gabriel being married and having a daughter from so long ago.
I felt really rude and I felt like God was going to smite me if I didn't say something nice so I started talking to them all in my head.
'Hello, Catia, Nikolai, Natalia-'
Thunder rumbled overhead.
'I'm so sorry that you were taken from the world so young and so violently. I didn't know any of you-'
Clouds rolled in and lightning crackled.
'But Gabriel loved you-'
Rain started pouring in buckets on me.
'And any family of Gabriel's is family of mine-'
Lightning strikes right behind me, I was able to feel the electricity off it.
I was scared. Something tells me that someone doesn't want me here. So I leave. Gabriel was so sad and so quiet that I didn't want to tear him from his family. So I left by myself. Well, as soon as I got home the storm stopped. How curious is that? I thought about going back to their graves but as soon as I set foot outside lightning strikes right in front of me. The sudden bolt sends me running back into the house. Fine. I wasn't wanted there. I would just go to bed then.
So I did, only, Gabriel hadn't come home yet. Well he is a creature of the night, I shouldn't worry about him.
When I woke up the next morning, Gabriel still wasn't home and I was beginning to wonder if Gabriel had spent the entire night out.
I tried leaving the house to go find Gabriel, but, like yesterday, lightning would strike, heavy fog would roll in, or a storm would start. So I went back inside and fixed myself some breakfast. I got a crappy, unhealthy breakfast since I couldn't reach my goat and chickens. Just as I was finishing my cereal, Gabriel opened and closed the back door and came in.
"Hi," I say with my mouth full.
"Goodmorning," he says in reply.
There is quite the bit of awkward silence between us.
"In case you were wondering, I was out all night. And I was at their graves."
"I wasn't wondering. And I trust you...in case you were wondering." I snap.
...That was our first real fight since becoming engaged...I don't like fighting with Gabriel. I did trust him, but I can't believe he thought I didn't trust him! Who does he think I am?
"Go change your clothes. Your all wet." I say and focus on my food again.
For a minute he just stands there watching me, and then he turns and goes up the stairs.
I didn't like being mad at him but he started it! He really did, Diary! What was I supposed to do?
I didn't see Gabriel for a while, I thought maybe he'd gone hunting.
So I changed into my yellow bikini, took a towel, and laid out in the back yard. Thunder rumbled a little.
"Oh, hush, Natalia." I grumbled. The thunder stopped and I laid down for a long peaceful session of tanning. My mistake.
About 30 minutes after I first sat down, a shadow loomed over me.
I had just enough time to open my eyes and see Gabriel before my face was smothered in kisses and his body was pressing mine to the ground.
"Johanna," kiss, "I am," kiss, "so sorry." Kiss.
His body felt warm against mine, his lips soft.
I kissed him back and mumbled forgiveness against his lips.
Merrr-well, again, the next event is thanks to Natalia.....
Rain started pouring down on top of us. Lightning crackled. Wind blew trees from side to side.
Gabriel pulled back to help me up, but that wouldn't work. I was going to show Natalia once and for all that he is mine!
I pulled his lips back down on mine! And, of course, he didn't object.
But Natalia, of course, did. A nearby tree was lit on fire. Gabriel attracts fire like honey attracts bees so we ran into the house.
But I knew Natalia would still be angry, cue more anger.
I shoved Gabriel onto the couch and started kissing his face, his lips, his fingers.
The house shook as our kisses became more passionate. But I wasn't going to stop, Gabriel was my love, my heart. I've fought for him before and will do it again. But Gabriel pulled apart when lightning struck the house. He ran to go put it out, and I silently cursed Natalia.
"God dammit, Natalia! If you want me then you'll have me tonight!"
-Johanna
February 20th, 2013
Dear Diary,
I'm really excited to finally see where Gabriel came from and to learn why he is the way he is.
The plane lands and then we have to take a car for 2 hours. I don't mind really. And as the city turns into country I begin to see why Gabriel loves it here. Gabriel tells me that his town hasn't much changed since the 1300s except that there are more houses and new stores.
I think about asking where we will stay but it doesn't really matter, we'll think of something.
Gabriel seems to be in a far away place as we walk through the town. Its quaint shops and kind people captivate me as us newcomers must captivate them. We enter a few of the antique shops, Gabriel being detached the entire time. I don't say anything to him, maybe he's reminiscing.
Its beginning to get dark so I ask Gabriel if we can get something to eat.
Without hesitating, he takes me down the street to a really nice outdoor restaurant. As I'm eating he says, "This was my favorite place to eat back in those days. It was so simple and so...." He searches for the right word, "It just wasn't home."
"So it was like a tavern?" I ask between bites.
"No 'like'. It was a tavern."
"Oh, okay." I say while concentrating on my food again.
We sit in silence as I eat something native to Russia. I didn't ask what I was eating and I'm not really sure I want to know what it is lol.
After I ate, we started walking down the streets. Soon, Gabriel stopped short. I was about to ask what it was when he scooped me into my arms and ran me down the streets and over a hill.
"Its here! I can't believe its still here!" Gabriel keeps repeating.
"What is?" I ask as he sets me down backwards.
"My home." He spins me around to stare at the monstrous mansion looming over me. It. Was. Gorgeous! The exterior not only radiated beauty and elegance, but it radiated that feeling of home.
"I can't believe they kept it and in such great shape too!" Gabriel is as excited as a kid in a candy store. I'm happy for him, but I can't help but feel a little lost.
"They?"
"My brothers. Filip and Yasha. And then their sons, and the sons of their sons." I smiled at how much he seemed to love the house.
"Is it safe for us to stay in? The wood isn't rotted or anything?"
"Of course its safe!" He pushes open the front doors, "Its fairly new wood and paint, but it looks exactly the same as when I last saw it."
Gabriel gave me the grand tour, and told me about his siblings that I didn't know he had. Gabriel let's me stay in his younger sister, Galina's, room while he stays in his own room.
For some reason, Diary, I didn't sleep well that night. Whether it was the time difference or the feeling of unease from his new mood, I couldn't be sure. I was haunted by Gabriel's past, a past I knew nothing about.
The next morning I woke up to the sound of the lawn being mowed. Immediately I knew that Gabriel was the one doing it, and a part of me wondered if he was up first thing in the morning waiting outside the store until it would open so he could buy a lawn mower. I peeked my head out the window, and sure enough, there he was pushing the machine across the yard.
Since my beloved was in his own little world making his home the pride of Russia, I decided not to bother him and instead got dressed and went into town for breakfast. It was a lovely morning and everyone greeted me with great kindness.
I used my very limited russian vocabulary to ask for eggs and milk. But instead I got 3 chickens and a goat....
My only question is why? I said nothing about goats! At least...I'm almost positive about that.
So I took my 3 chickens and 1 goat and walked back to Gabriel's house. I found him sitting in the kitchen.
"Alright. What did I do wrong?"
He let's out a laugh, a wonderful laugh. Its deep and sensitive, his whole heart is behind it.
"What exactly did you say, love?"
Love. He called me love. Gabriel makes my heart melt and re-melt over and over again, he really is too sweet.
I repeat what I said to the guy at the diner.
Again, Gabriel let's out a deep laugh, "Oh, Johanna," my name sounds beautiful when he says it, "That's not how you ask for a plate of scrambled eggs and a glass of milk. You really did ask for 3 chickens and a goat." He laughs and I stare at the animals with a look of dumbfounded- ness on my face.
"Well, hey." He pulls me into his lap, "You can still get eggs and milk from these animals, you just gotta work a little harder."
So I did just that. Gabriel helped me build a little chicken coop and shelter for the goat, then I was able to get my food and odd goat milk. After I was done with the animals, I planted some flowers and got rid of weeds.
When all that was done Gabriel looked perfect and ready to do it again...I looked sweaty and dirty and was about to pass out from exhaustion. I took a shower and changed into some sweat pants and a tank top, ready for bed! But Gabriel was wearing nice pants and a nice shirt.
"Are you going somewhere? Are WE going somewhere?" I ask curious.
"I want to go visit my daughter...and wife...and brother...I want you to come with me."
I was kind of shocked. Well, shouldn't he do that alone?!? Why would he want me to be there? Its his first time back sine 1390 and I would have thought that he would have liked some privacy. But maybe he's scared?
"Sure." I reply slowly, "Let me just put on something more appropriate for visiting a grave." I slowly turn and walk back up the staircase. I choose a strapless midnight blue colored dress and I let my hair fall over my shoulders.
When I came downstairs Gabriel was still happy, smiling even! But I wasn't sure how long this would last and what kind of mood would soon be approaching me. I guess all I could hope for was the best. Gabriel led me out the back door and into a nearby forest. The forest gave way to a field and just beyond that field was a weeping willow tree, and next to that tree were tombstones. Gabriel was still happy, that is, until we stood right in front of the graves and read the names:
Natalia Ryashubinski
Catia Ryashubinski
Nikolai Ryashubinski
Gabriel collapsed onto the dirt in front of Catia's grave. He said a whole bunch of stuff in russian and the only words I understood were 'love', 'Natalia' and 'Catia'.
Well, how was I supposed to feel? I felt like an intruder, like I didn't belong there. It felt rude to be standing in the back, not saying anything, not even knowing what to think or who they were! All I knew about them was that they were Gabriel's brother, wife, and daughter.
Catia I could at least imagine. In my shared dreams with Gabriel she was often there with us, smiling and happy to see her father. It actually felt weird to imagine Gabriel being married and having a daughter from so long ago.
I felt really rude and I felt like God was going to smite me if I didn't say something nice so I started talking to them all in my head.
'Hello, Catia, Nikolai, Natalia-'
Thunder rumbled overhead.
'I'm so sorry that you were taken from the world so young and so violently. I didn't know any of you-'
Clouds rolled in and lightning crackled.
'But Gabriel loved you-'
Rain started pouring in buckets on me.
'And any family of Gabriel's is family of mine-'
Lightning strikes right behind me, I was able to feel the electricity off it.
I was scared. Something tells me that someone doesn't want me here. So I leave. Gabriel was so sad and so quiet that I didn't want to tear him from his family. So I left by myself. Well, as soon as I got home the storm stopped. How curious is that? I thought about going back to their graves but as soon as I set foot outside lightning strikes right in front of me. The sudden bolt sends me running back into the house. Fine. I wasn't wanted there. I would just go to bed then.
So I did, only, Gabriel hadn't come home yet. Well he is a creature of the night, I shouldn't worry about him.
When I woke up the next morning, Gabriel still wasn't home and I was beginning to wonder if Gabriel had spent the entire night out.
I tried leaving the house to go find Gabriel, but, like yesterday, lightning would strike, heavy fog would roll in, or a storm would start. So I went back inside and fixed myself some breakfast. I got a crappy, unhealthy breakfast since I couldn't reach my goat and chickens. Just as I was finishing my cereal, Gabriel opened and closed the back door and came in.
"Hi," I say with my mouth full.
"Goodmorning," he says in reply.
There is quite the bit of awkward silence between us.
"In case you were wondering, I was out all night. And I was at their graves."
"I wasn't wondering. And I trust you...in case you were wondering." I snap.
...That was our first real fight since becoming engaged...I don't like fighting with Gabriel. I did trust him, but I can't believe he thought I didn't trust him! Who does he think I am?
"Go change your clothes. Your all wet." I say and focus on my food again.
For a minute he just stands there watching me, and then he turns and goes up the stairs.
I didn't like being mad at him but he started it! He really did, Diary! What was I supposed to do?
I didn't see Gabriel for a while, I thought maybe he'd gone hunting.
So I changed into my yellow bikini, took a towel, and laid out in the back yard. Thunder rumbled a little.
"Oh, hush, Natalia." I grumbled. The thunder stopped and I laid down for a long peaceful session of tanning. My mistake.
About 30 minutes after I first sat down, a shadow loomed over me.
I had just enough time to open my eyes and see Gabriel before my face was smothered in kisses and his body was pressing mine to the ground.
"Johanna," kiss, "I am," kiss, "so sorry." Kiss.
His body felt warm against mine, his lips soft.
I kissed him back and mumbled forgiveness against his lips.
Merrr-well, again, the next event is thanks to Natalia.....
Rain started pouring down on top of us. Lightning crackled. Wind blew trees from side to side.
Gabriel pulled back to help me up, but that wouldn't work. I was going to show Natalia once and for all that he is mine!
I pulled his lips back down on mine! And, of course, he didn't object.
But Natalia, of course, did. A nearby tree was lit on fire. Gabriel attracts fire like honey attracts bees so we ran into the house.
But I knew Natalia would still be angry, cue more anger.
I shoved Gabriel onto the couch and started kissing his face, his lips, his fingers.
The house shook as our kisses became more passionate. But I wasn't going to stop, Gabriel was my love, my heart. I've fought for him before and will do it again. But Gabriel pulled apart when lightning struck the house. He ran to go put it out, and I silently cursed Natalia.
"God dammit, Natalia! If you want me then you'll have me tonight!"
-Johanna