DETAILS...

DETAILS...
January 10th, 2013
Johanna and I are still getting married. I don't know why I thought she would call it off, but I did. And thank god she hasn't. Johanna made it perfectly clear that she wanted to wait until she graduated from college first, and I completely understood! As a matter of fact, I was proud of her for wanting to finish school first. And since it was for such a good cause, I was willing to wait a few months.
Er-Johanna and I actually argued about the wedding.
She came down one night after getting ready for bed and said she had already found her wedding dress. I thought that was wonderful but I didn't want to see it, the groom shouldn't see the dress before the wedding. But I agreed to see it since she really wanted my opinion. Johanna pulled a photo from behind her back and held it in front of me...
"Isn't it beautiful?!" She squealed in delight.
It...was very nice looking. But it simply was not a wedding dress! It was thin and strapless and...RED!!! RED IS NOT THE COLOR OF A WEDDING DRESS! Its fine for a gown or something for a party but...not for a wedding.
So all I could think to say was, "I thought we wanted a traditional wedding?"
I kind of wanted to shout it at her, but i didn't want to hurt her feelings.
But I could tell that I wasn't successful...she was upset.
"Well, that was before I saw this dress and before I thought that I could have my bridesmaids wear black dresses."
Oh my god, NO! This is not a funeral! Grrrrrrrr!
"Really Johanna? So what would Rhoan wear? A pink tuxedo jacket? And I? Would I wear a sparkly red one?"
She cringed from my attitude.
"Why can't my bridesmaids wear black if your grooms men get to?!" She yelled.
"Because its not traditional!"
"To hell with traditional! I'm not a traditional girl!"
"Well I'm a traditional man! You only get married for a first time once in your life. Don't you want to do it right?"
"Are you saying I would be doing it wrong?"
"Maybe. All I want is a big white dress, the bridesmaids in color, flowers everywhere in a church and me and my grooms men in black. Is that too much to ask for?"
She pauses and we have a stare off, "Yes. Yes it is!" She screams at me and runs up the stairs.
For a couple seconds I'm quietly just sitting there staring into space, but then the quiet feels so deafening. I get up and walk outside into the pouring rain, and then I just lay there feeling the water soak into my hair and into my clothes.
I guess it was about four hours later when I heard Johanna down stairs, she flung open the front door and called out to me.
Being the kind person that I am, I went to her so she wouldn't have to get all wet coming to me.
"What? Shouldn't you be in bed? Its past 5 ya know"
"I'm not a child, Gabriel. I'm 21 years old."
I saw her holding another picture behind her back.
"Now what?" I gesture towards it.
"You said you wanted a big white dress and all that crap so here." She shoved the paper into my face.
She was wearing the red strapless dress again but there was also a big white wedding dress there...as a matter of fact, their were six, all the same.
I turned around and stormed back out into the rain. It was coming down heavier than before. To my surprise, Johanna followed after me. Not surprisingly, she didn't bother to get a coat or shoes.
"When I said I wanted a big white wedding dress, I meant that I wanted it on you! And FYI, Johanna, black is for a funeral!" I yelled over the storm. She was running to keep up with me.
"Yeah. I know-"
I turned on her so fast that she ran into me.
I grabbed her forearms holding her close to me. As she struggled to get me to let go, I watched the rain drops catching in her soaking wet hair and then sliding down her face. Even while standing next to death, she still looked beautiful, and not to afraid.
"But if you think marrying me would be your funeral than just say so and we can call off the wedding!" I threatened.
She hesitated.


She freakin hesitated! What the hell is that about?!
"Oh," I say slowly, angrily, "I see."
I run off into the woods, Johanna calling my name and begging me to stop.
What could I have done to prevent this?! I think while dodging branches and up turned roots. I end up by the river Johanna almost drowned in.
I heard twigs snapping and branches bending behind me, Johanna was trying to follow.
I jump across the river since no person would go near where they almost very nearly died...no person except Johanna.
She watched me standing across her from the other side of the river.
"Gabriel, come talk to me!" She pleads.
I turn my back and start walking away when she yells, "If you don't come to me then I guess I'll have to come to you!"
One of my fears came rushing back to me:
It was a night just like tonight. Stormy and dark, raining and cold. So cold. I heard a song no louder than a whisper and found a girl who looked like a corpse. Skin as white as snow and lips blue like ice. Her lips trembled to form the words she wanted to sing and icicles formed on her eye lashes that wanted to close forever. But she wouldn't give up, barely, just barely, she made it out alive.

I heard leaves rustle beneath her feet and the air rush around her body as she took a running leap.
I let the animal in me run loose, I let my desire for her take over. In less than a second I whirled around and leapt across the river aiming for her small body.
I caught her in my arms and before she knew what was happening I twisted my body so that I would land on the ground and she wouldn't be hurt.
My head hit the ground hard and that wasn't the worst part. I felt blood seeping through my shirt, I had been stabbed by a branch when we landed.
Johanna lifted her head from my chest and looked into my eyes.
"I knew you wouldn't let me fall," she whispered.
She pushed my wet hair off my forehead.
"Never forget that. I will ALWAYS be here for you."
I looked into her beautiful green eyes and she leaned in for a kiss. Her soft lips brushed mine playfully and I went for them as she pulled away but the branch pulled through me. I let out a groan of pain as the wood splintered inside me.
"What's wrong?" Johanna asked while feeling my body for the source of my pain.
She found it before I had to reply. She flinched at its sharpness, I groaned again at the vibration it sent through my body. The branch itself was about as thick as Johanna's wrist and went through my ribs. Thankfully it didn't damage anything important, not that it would kill me but still.
She starts freaking out as she realizes how thick it is.
"Johanna, your going to need to get it out-"
She tried pulling it but it was stuck in the ground too and ended up hurting me instead. I yelled a little.
"Oh! Sorry! So sorry!"
"Its okay. Try and break it," I say with my teeth clenched.
She tries not to move the branch too much but she's nervous, her hands are shaking.
"This isn't working. Just break it. Don't even worry about hurting me. Just do it." I grumbled.
"Okay. One...two...-"
"JOHANNA!" I shout, "Don't let me know when-"
"THREE!" And she breaks the piece in half.
"HOLY HELL, FOR GODS SAKE, WHAT THE-"
The strand of obscenities goes on a bit.
"Okay. What can I do to make it better?"
"Blood. I need blood." I open my eyes and they are that glowing vampire red again.
She lifts her wrist to my mouth but I push it away.
"Not your blood."
"It would be better for you. Just take it." She shoves her wrist back towards my lips.
I can smell her blood running hot and fast just below the thin surface of skin. I open my mouth and let my fangs graze over her blue vein, not hard enough to break the skin but tempting enough to let venom fill my mouth. I shove Johanna backwards, maybe a little too hard but I needed space. I use my shape shifting ability to take Jacob Black's form and from there I change into a wolf. Wolves have a fast healing ability, and I really need that now.
I shift onto my side and stand up on all fours. The fur on my chest and belly is matted with blood. I search for an animal, any kind, to help heal me. I find a rabbit hiding from the rain and tear into its small body, the blood I get is hardly enough but my healing process has begun.
"Gabriel?"
My ears prick up as Johanna comes closer to me. Now, I may currently be a wolf but I'm craving human blood and I will not hurt her. Anyone but her. I dash away from her and into a cave not far away. I find a bear awakening. I keep in wolf form until I bite into its arm. That bit of blood gives me a new power. I resume my vampire form again and fight with the bear. I end up killing the poor creature by wrapping my arms around its ribs and squeezing. As the creature drowns to death in its own blood I drink from its neck.
After I finished the last drop I leaned against the cave wall and felt the tingling of my flesh healing. A small smile played on my blood covered face.
Johanna was at the entrance of the cave looking to see if the bear was dead. I laugh and pat the dirt next to me, "Its dead. Come on in."
She sits next to me, "Well, your in a good mood for almost dying."
I laugh again, "It was fun. I kind of enjoyed that, its like an exhilarating rush."
She smiles sadly and grabs my hand, "I didn't mean to hesitate before. I just thought you already knew the answer: that I want to marry you. I want to call you mine only and no one elses."
"No, Johanna. I'm sorry. I just- you kind of-"
I take a breath and start over, "You only get married once for real. And I feel that you would be missing out on something if you didn't go the whole nine yards. Besides, red and black are such vampire colors and you'll have forever to wear them."
Johanna's smile falls, "Gabriel, I don't want to be a vampire."
"What?" Seriously, my brain wasn't even functioning then!
"I thought you knew that? I don't want to become a vampire."
I was completely shocked, "B-but, don't you want to spend forever with me?"
She closes her eyes and places my hand on her heart, "Do you feel that? Its beating for one reason and one reason only: You." She moves my hand to her cheek, "Do you feel how warm I am? That's because every time your near me I blush and my blood runs fast in anticipation of your touch, your smile, your voice."
She pulls my hand away and kisses each of my fingertips, "Isn't what I have left of my life enough for you?"
"Johanna, I don't care if your skin is hot or cold. I don't care if your heart really beats or if it stands still for all eternity. I know you love me just as you know I love you, and I don't need proof of that. You saying it is proof enough."
I run my thumb in little circles on the back of her hand.
"You always say how you wish you were human, why do you wish for me to be a vampire then?"
"Because spending forever with you is the only thing that makes eternity bearable."
"Eternity on earth isn't the only thing that awaits you. Think of the eternity that lies in heaven."
I didn't answer.
"Is it enough then? Can you marry a human and live with her that way until she dies?" Johanna whispers against my cheek.
"Only if I can die with her."
She moves her mouth to my ear, "God has a plan for you, for all of us. If He wishes for you to die with me then you will, but you need to promise me that you will not commit suicide. It isn't time for you yet, God has plans for you down here, just as your family needs you too. Think of Sophia and of Vera, think of Rhoan and all the other vampires that wish harm to the world. Think of them before you want yourself dead."
"I promise," I whisper against her lips. She gives me a couple light kisses then she runs playfully out of the cave. I know I have an advantage over her so I take my human form and run after her.
"Where are you, Johanna?" I call.
"Come find me!" She yells back.
It was fun searching for her but I wasn't to good at it so I let the vampire in me take over. I ran towards her and hid in the branches of a tree. Just as she was running past, I dangled on one of the branches and caught her waist. I pulled my laughing beauty into the branches with me. I pressed her against the tree trunk with my hands on both sides of her so she won't fall.
"I know you changed into a human before. Don't. I never want you as anything other than what you are."
I nod.
The rain stops pouring down and we smile. Ha! I had even lost track of time. The sun began to rise as Johanna and I stood in a tree. It was a wonderful view, a magical one. The sun was a bright orange is it came over the horizon, and the little water droplets everywhere shone with little rainbows.
"I didn't realize we were up all night." I say.
Johanna is mesmerized by the sunrise. I would have stayed there with her but she started shaking, she was so cold. I had forgotten how wet we were. I scoop Johanna into my arms and run her back to the house. We both go into my room and I give her new pajamas to change into. While she changes in the bathroom, I put on sweat pants in the room. She comes out with a hairbrush to get the tangles out of her hair. I take the brush from her as she sits on the edge of the bed. Slowly and carefully I brush her hair. And when that is done she crawls under the covers and leans against my chest.
"Can you do something for me?" She yawns, "I want to see every place that made you feel scared or angry or happy. Can we do that?"
"Yes we can." I whisper.
I continue rubbing Johanna's shoulder and she drifts off to sleep.
-Gabriel