Home
SCARED...
July 3rd, 2011
All night long all I could do was listen to Johanna's rhythmic breathing. In and out. In and out. Calm and slow. A few times she woke up, startled at first forgetting where she was, then she got worried about what would happen, and finally, she fell back asleep. I hadn't moved from the floor by the door, I didn't plan too. I actually got exhausted from all of this, I was probably just as worried as Johanna. What good would 8 hours worth of worrying do me? I figured the only thing left to do would be to sleep. Taking my human form, I immediately fell asleep and dreamt of nothing.
About 10 hours later I awoke to the smell of coffee and eggs. A part of me wanted to go down there and eat them. But a bigger part of me wanted to be a vampire again. So back to being a vampire I went. I was faced with the feeling of anger...at Johanna. How dare she come to MY home and make herself comfortable! This would not last! She was leaving. NOW.
I ran down the stairs, surprisingly everyone was at the main house, except for Jordan and Sophia.
"Alright. Where is she?" I demanded from Faine.
"She isn't here. She went out."
I grabbed the door handle of the front door and flung it open.
"Gabriel! What are you going to do?!" She shrieks.
The guys were getting up, preparing to try and hold me back.
"She's leaving, Faine. Right now. I'm going to find her and make her leave. Its my house, not hers. She has no right to just come on in here and have me lock myself in my room."
I tried to walk away, "But Gabriel! Just talk to her, try to understand!" Faine pleads with me.
"Its me or her, Faine." I warn, I was dead serious to, "And I will not be the one to leave what was mine first."
I didn't stay to listen any longer, I raced off after her scent. The smell of rain in a forest rode on the wind. Johanna's scent.
I ran for about 30 minutes and found myself in a small town. The clock in the town rang 12 times. It was noon. For the first time since getting here, I actually looked around and noticed that it was pretty deserted here. Nobody was around to be seen, it was as if only ghosts lived here. Then I heard a soft voice, a beautiful melody riding on the wind. I followed this melody to a church. Slowly I gazed up at the large gargoyles and ornate carvings, my chest felt tight and I wished that I didn't have to go inside. But unfortunately, that melodious voice was connected to Johanna's scent.
I took a deep breath and walked through the heavy wood doors. My muscles flexed and my eyes keep shifting around, my chest got tighter. I felt like a wolf in the middle of a flock of sheep, like the only light bulb in a room that wouldn't work, like a dead rose in a garden of living ones. I felt like walking further into the church would cause my death. I had this feeling that God would smite me for setting my un-holy body in such a holy place. I slowly made my way through the doors and down a long empty corridor. The soft melody continued. I hid along the back wall, sinking into the shadows and watched her. She was wearing a white peasant blouse and a purple skirt made of cotton that touched just below her knees. Also...she had no shoes. I chuckled and a smile played at my lips. Oh, Johanna, leave it to her to walk through a church without shoes!
She was observing the beautiful stained glass windows depicting scenes from the Bible. And also looking at a porcelain figure of Jesus as a baby,
"'Yes I know I'm just an outcast. I shouldn't speak to you but still I see your face and wonder....were you once an outcast too?'" She sang.
""God help the outcasts hungry from birth. Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth. God help my people, we look to you still, God help the outcasts when nobody will...'"
She was singing from the heart, she cared about everybody even though she didn't know any of them. She was too good of a person, a saint in a world of sinners.
Her voice was soft and delicate, but strong at the same time with belief.
I heard voices in my mind, of people I've killed. Asking God for forgiveness, for love, for wealth, to be blessed. And to protect loved ones.
Johanna was now looking at a painting of the angels, my angel in particular. The archangel Gabriel, who interpreted visions and brought good news.
"'I ask for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help my people, the poor and downtrod-'" she was looking at the statue of Jesus on the cross now, "'I thought we all were the children of God.'"
She turned her head slightly over her shoulder and caught sight of me. Her body turned to face me as she held out her arms and finished her song, never once letting my gaze go, '"God help the outcasts, children of...God.'"
We stood there for a while. You could still hear her last note ringing high in the rafters and echoing off the stone walls.
I knew then that I wouldn't let her go, ever. She was sent to change me, and without even trying, she already had. The anger in my heart had melted long ago, at the soul in her song. I was able to give her a warm smile and slowly walk over to her. I stopped just in front of her, we were so close, toe to toe.
She had to look up, with her neck tilted way back to see me. There was a twinkle in her eye, she knew that she had changed me, but she wouldn't gloat about it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small cross on a silver chain. The cross itself was silver as well, with small rubies in it. This was the cross she had lost the night I pulled her from the river months ago. Before I had proposed to her I had gone looking for it, and after she had left me I had intentions of throwing it away but just couldn't. She lifted her long hair from her neck and turned around, I draped the silver around her neck and fixed the clasp. She let her hair flow down and turned to face me again.
"Johanna, I want to be with you too. You were right, I said we would make this work, and we will. Stay with me so we can date?" I asked with her cheek cupped in my hand. The colors from the stained glass windows shined over us.
All she did was lift my hand and kiss my palm, telling me that everything would be all right. After her sweet kiss she stroked my palm, sending tingles of warmth through my entire body. I felt the last of the ice melting from my heart.
Johanna knew this too and smiled, tugging me towards the door and into the light.
We took our sweet time getting back to the house. It actually took us 3 hours to get home, I guess its because we walked so slow and often stopped to just admire each other. Johanna, of course, wanted to splash around in a stream or just lay in an open field. All I wanted to do was hold her and look into her grass green eyes.
Either my temper has gotten better, or I can't feel angry at Johanna, because she did something I don't approve of. She ran into the middle of a field and lay down, spreading her arms out and looking at the sky.
"Hey, Johanna. What are you doing?" I ask her as I come closer.
"Nothing." She smiles playfully.
"Oh really?" I try to get closer but she sticks her foot into my chest. I grab it and notice that there is something on it.
"You got a tattoo?" I didn't say it as mean as I thought I would've.
"Yeah. I did. Do ya like it?"
It was like a vine winding across her foot and around the base of her ankle. It had a few tiny flowers and many thorns. I did like it, I really did. It looked classy on her, and not as showy as other tattoos.
"Read it." She commands.
So I do. Along the vine twisting across her foot are the names 'Susan' and 'Richard'.
"Your parents?"
"Mm-hmm. Read my ankle."
I look at her ankle, and in classy, script writing is a name I never expected to see there...
"My name?" I was shocked.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I have it there?"
The 'G' was curly and bold. I smiled. She smiled at me and pulled her leg back, causing me to fall next to her.
We laughed and I grabbed her hand. We hadn't kissed yet, and honestly, I was in no rush. That sounds mean actually, but holding her hand was enough for me. Just being with her made me feel like the only man in the world. That and I had a feeling that there were quite a few boys who had gone to fast with her. She was special to me, and deserved to be treated like that. Eventually we did make it home, we were in no rush. Swinging our joined hands and admiring the flowers in the field we were happy going back into the house.
"Is everything okay?" Alec asked as we came walking through the door.
"It is now." She smiled while wrapping her arms around my waist.
I laughed a little. She was so short! Her head rested below my heart. Little Johanna wasn't even that short compared to the others! I guess maybe I'm just taller than average? Hah!
Anyway, we all smiled and laughed and got back together and talked about what has happened. The one person I didn't notice around was Rhoan. Hmmm, wonder where he is and what he is up to?
Soon enough, to soon, it was time for Johanna to go to bed.
"Goodnight everyone," she said politely.
It was obvious that she wanted to stay up and chat with us, but I encouraged her to get some sleep, we would have all of tomorrow to be together.
"Goodnight, Johanna." They replied.
It wasn't even 20 minutes later when she was back down though, except this time she was in her pajamas.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked her.
She nodded.
"What is it?"
She held out her hand and I took it. She led me up the stairs and into my room where her suitcases were on the floor.
"You want to sleep in here? Well of course you can! You didn't need to ask. I'll just be downstairs all night anyway-"
"Its your room. You shouldn't be afraid to share."
Was she suggesting what I think she was suggesting?
"Gabriel. Stop that. I'm just saying we could share."
Was I that obvious with what I was thinking?
"I just don't like being alone." She really did look vulnerable, and like a child.
"So I'll sit here and watch," I sat in the corner of the room and did just that, "I don't need a bed. I'm perfectly comfortable. Honest."
Reluctantly she climbed under the sheets of my bed and turned out the light. Only when I was sure she was dead asleep did I let my guard down and decide to sleep myself.
Through my sleep some part of me was aware of the terrible rain storm we were having outside. There was lightning and so much thunder. But it didn't bother me at all, what actually bothered me was when, at some odd hour, I felt a foot jamming into my side. I bolted awake, changed into a vampire and turned to face my attacker in less than a second.
It was Johanna. She collapsed into my arms, shaking.
I welcomed her warmly and held her. We sat like that for the longest time until I pulled her back from me to look at her face. She had tears streaming down her eyes and her hair was wild about her face.
"Gabriel, I'm scared."
"What happened, Johanna?"
"I just- I had-. Nightmare. The thunder. You left."
"Oh, Johanna." I said pulling her back to me again.
I carefully lowered us to the ground again. I was facing the window and Johanna was resting against my chest.
"I'm not leaving. Ever. I will never leave you."
The thunder rumbled again and rain splattered against the roof.
She cuddled deeper into my arms, "I'm scared."
"I'm not."
She didn't say another word, neither did I. We stayed like that until the next morning.
-Gabriel
July 3rd, 2011
All night long all I could do was listen to Johanna's rhythmic breathing. In and out. In and out. Calm and slow. A few times she woke up, startled at first forgetting where she was, then she got worried about what would happen, and finally, she fell back asleep. I hadn't moved from the floor by the door, I didn't plan too. I actually got exhausted from all of this, I was probably just as worried as Johanna. What good would 8 hours worth of worrying do me? I figured the only thing left to do would be to sleep. Taking my human form, I immediately fell asleep and dreamt of nothing.
About 10 hours later I awoke to the smell of coffee and eggs. A part of me wanted to go down there and eat them. But a bigger part of me wanted to be a vampire again. So back to being a vampire I went. I was faced with the feeling of anger...at Johanna. How dare she come to MY home and make herself comfortable! This would not last! She was leaving. NOW.
I ran down the stairs, surprisingly everyone was at the main house, except for Jordan and Sophia.
"Alright. Where is she?" I demanded from Faine.
"She isn't here. She went out."
I grabbed the door handle of the front door and flung it open.
"Gabriel! What are you going to do?!" She shrieks.
The guys were getting up, preparing to try and hold me back.
"She's leaving, Faine. Right now. I'm going to find her and make her leave. Its my house, not hers. She has no right to just come on in here and have me lock myself in my room."
I tried to walk away, "But Gabriel! Just talk to her, try to understand!" Faine pleads with me.
"Its me or her, Faine." I warn, I was dead serious to, "And I will not be the one to leave what was mine first."
I didn't stay to listen any longer, I raced off after her scent. The smell of rain in a forest rode on the wind. Johanna's scent.
I ran for about 30 minutes and found myself in a small town. The clock in the town rang 12 times. It was noon. For the first time since getting here, I actually looked around and noticed that it was pretty deserted here. Nobody was around to be seen, it was as if only ghosts lived here. Then I heard a soft voice, a beautiful melody riding on the wind. I followed this melody to a church. Slowly I gazed up at the large gargoyles and ornate carvings, my chest felt tight and I wished that I didn't have to go inside. But unfortunately, that melodious voice was connected to Johanna's scent.
I took a deep breath and walked through the heavy wood doors. My muscles flexed and my eyes keep shifting around, my chest got tighter. I felt like a wolf in the middle of a flock of sheep, like the only light bulb in a room that wouldn't work, like a dead rose in a garden of living ones. I felt like walking further into the church would cause my death. I had this feeling that God would smite me for setting my un-holy body in such a holy place. I slowly made my way through the doors and down a long empty corridor. The soft melody continued. I hid along the back wall, sinking into the shadows and watched her. She was wearing a white peasant blouse and a purple skirt made of cotton that touched just below her knees. Also...she had no shoes. I chuckled and a smile played at my lips. Oh, Johanna, leave it to her to walk through a church without shoes!
She was observing the beautiful stained glass windows depicting scenes from the Bible. And also looking at a porcelain figure of Jesus as a baby,
"'Yes I know I'm just an outcast. I shouldn't speak to you but still I see your face and wonder....were you once an outcast too?'" She sang.
""God help the outcasts hungry from birth. Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth. God help my people, we look to you still, God help the outcasts when nobody will...'"
She was singing from the heart, she cared about everybody even though she didn't know any of them. She was too good of a person, a saint in a world of sinners.
Her voice was soft and delicate, but strong at the same time with belief.
I heard voices in my mind, of people I've killed. Asking God for forgiveness, for love, for wealth, to be blessed. And to protect loved ones.
Johanna was now looking at a painting of the angels, my angel in particular. The archangel Gabriel, who interpreted visions and brought good news.
"'I ask for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I. Please help my people, the poor and downtrod-'" she was looking at the statue of Jesus on the cross now, "'I thought we all were the children of God.'"
She turned her head slightly over her shoulder and caught sight of me. Her body turned to face me as she held out her arms and finished her song, never once letting my gaze go, '"God help the outcasts, children of...God.'"
We stood there for a while. You could still hear her last note ringing high in the rafters and echoing off the stone walls.
I knew then that I wouldn't let her go, ever. She was sent to change me, and without even trying, she already had. The anger in my heart had melted long ago, at the soul in her song. I was able to give her a warm smile and slowly walk over to her. I stopped just in front of her, we were so close, toe to toe.
She had to look up, with her neck tilted way back to see me. There was a twinkle in her eye, she knew that she had changed me, but she wouldn't gloat about it. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small cross on a silver chain. The cross itself was silver as well, with small rubies in it. This was the cross she had lost the night I pulled her from the river months ago. Before I had proposed to her I had gone looking for it, and after she had left me I had intentions of throwing it away but just couldn't. She lifted her long hair from her neck and turned around, I draped the silver around her neck and fixed the clasp. She let her hair flow down and turned to face me again.
"Johanna, I want to be with you too. You were right, I said we would make this work, and we will. Stay with me so we can date?" I asked with her cheek cupped in my hand. The colors from the stained glass windows shined over us.
All she did was lift my hand and kiss my palm, telling me that everything would be all right. After her sweet kiss she stroked my palm, sending tingles of warmth through my entire body. I felt the last of the ice melting from my heart.
Johanna knew this too and smiled, tugging me towards the door and into the light.
We took our sweet time getting back to the house. It actually took us 3 hours to get home, I guess its because we walked so slow and often stopped to just admire each other. Johanna, of course, wanted to splash around in a stream or just lay in an open field. All I wanted to do was hold her and look into her grass green eyes.
Either my temper has gotten better, or I can't feel angry at Johanna, because she did something I don't approve of. She ran into the middle of a field and lay down, spreading her arms out and looking at the sky.
"Hey, Johanna. What are you doing?" I ask her as I come closer.
"Nothing." She smiles playfully.
"Oh really?" I try to get closer but she sticks her foot into my chest. I grab it and notice that there is something on it.
"You got a tattoo?" I didn't say it as mean as I thought I would've.
"Yeah. I did. Do ya like it?"
It was like a vine winding across her foot and around the base of her ankle. It had a few tiny flowers and many thorns. I did like it, I really did. It looked classy on her, and not as showy as other tattoos.
"Read it." She commands.
So I do. Along the vine twisting across her foot are the names 'Susan' and 'Richard'.
"Your parents?"
"Mm-hmm. Read my ankle."
I look at her ankle, and in classy, script writing is a name I never expected to see there...
"My name?" I was shocked.
"Yes. Why wouldn't I have it there?"
The 'G' was curly and bold. I smiled. She smiled at me and pulled her leg back, causing me to fall next to her.
We laughed and I grabbed her hand. We hadn't kissed yet, and honestly, I was in no rush. That sounds mean actually, but holding her hand was enough for me. Just being with her made me feel like the only man in the world. That and I had a feeling that there were quite a few boys who had gone to fast with her. She was special to me, and deserved to be treated like that. Eventually we did make it home, we were in no rush. Swinging our joined hands and admiring the flowers in the field we were happy going back into the house.
"Is everything okay?" Alec asked as we came walking through the door.
"It is now." She smiled while wrapping her arms around my waist.
I laughed a little. She was so short! Her head rested below my heart. Little Johanna wasn't even that short compared to the others! I guess maybe I'm just taller than average? Hah!
Anyway, we all smiled and laughed and got back together and talked about what has happened. The one person I didn't notice around was Rhoan. Hmmm, wonder where he is and what he is up to?
Soon enough, to soon, it was time for Johanna to go to bed.
"Goodnight everyone," she said politely.
It was obvious that she wanted to stay up and chat with us, but I encouraged her to get some sleep, we would have all of tomorrow to be together.
"Goodnight, Johanna." They replied.
It wasn't even 20 minutes later when she was back down though, except this time she was in her pajamas.
"Is there something wrong?" I asked her.
She nodded.
"What is it?"
She held out her hand and I took it. She led me up the stairs and into my room where her suitcases were on the floor.
"You want to sleep in here? Well of course you can! You didn't need to ask. I'll just be downstairs all night anyway-"
"Its your room. You shouldn't be afraid to share."
Was she suggesting what I think she was suggesting?
"Gabriel. Stop that. I'm just saying we could share."
Was I that obvious with what I was thinking?
"I just don't like being alone." She really did look vulnerable, and like a child.
"So I'll sit here and watch," I sat in the corner of the room and did just that, "I don't need a bed. I'm perfectly comfortable. Honest."
Reluctantly she climbed under the sheets of my bed and turned out the light. Only when I was sure she was dead asleep did I let my guard down and decide to sleep myself.
Through my sleep some part of me was aware of the terrible rain storm we were having outside. There was lightning and so much thunder. But it didn't bother me at all, what actually bothered me was when, at some odd hour, I felt a foot jamming into my side. I bolted awake, changed into a vampire and turned to face my attacker in less than a second.
It was Johanna. She collapsed into my arms, shaking.
I welcomed her warmly and held her. We sat like that for the longest time until I pulled her back from me to look at her face. She had tears streaming down her eyes and her hair was wild about her face.
"Gabriel, I'm scared."
"What happened, Johanna?"
"I just- I had-. Nightmare. The thunder. You left."
"Oh, Johanna." I said pulling her back to me again.
I carefully lowered us to the ground again. I was facing the window and Johanna was resting against my chest.
"I'm not leaving. Ever. I will never leave you."
The thunder rumbled again and rain splattered against the roof.
She cuddled deeper into my arms, "I'm scared."
"I'm not."
She didn't say another word, neither did I. We stayed like that until the next morning.
-Gabriel