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Dear diary
I’m really upset and I’ve locked myself in my room i don’t care if i am acting like a child and they can bang on the door all they like i am not coming out until i am ready to, i should just scream at him more make him realise what a cruel and horrible being is but i doubt he would listen to me Gabriel knows best right? Wrong he just hasn’t got a clue.
"JUST GO AWAY"!!!!!!!!!
"Please hunny just open the door, for me" Demitri asked kindly he had panic in his tone none of this was his fault but i just couldn’t bare to be with anyone at the moment i just needed to be alone.
"If you don’t let me i will break this door down" Demitri said getting angry.
"Don’t you dare you will be the second name on my list who i won’t be talking to if you even try" I screamed.
Demitri growled
"He needs to pay for upsetting her" Demitri said to whoever was on the outside of our room, I couldn’t be bothered in trying to work out who.
"Hay no don’t Valentina wouldn’t want that would she?" Bastien said trying to calm Demitri down by the sounds of it.
"I WOULD" i screamed.
"V you don’t know what you’re talking about your angry, we do bad things when we are angry." Bastien said through the door.
"DONT V ME!!!!" i shouted again i hadn’t screamed or acted like this since i was a teenager what was wrong with me.
I heard shuffling off feet they had left me everyone leaves it’s just not fair...........
It all started off so well i thought while i sat holding the picture i had drawn for Rhoan he would never get to see it and i would never know if this what a unicorn looked like, Rhoan knew he had ridden one.
We got back from the party Johanna had found out about, it was so much fun it felt like a reunion having the old gang back together minus Chelsea and Afton but there was enough of us not to feel sad about that and they would be back from their travels and they could tell me some more stories. I met my gorgeous Niece Sophia and made a big fuss of her Jordan really appreciated that i made the effort but how could i not with a face like that. When we got back Johanna went to bed which kind off sucked i wanted dance a little while longer.
I had asked Gabriel earlier that night if Rhoan was coming out to play but he just shrugged and said 'don’t know' in that gruff voice he used when he was wound up.
"You haven’t had an argument have you?" I asked him knowing what Gabriel was like.
"Look what do you want from me Valentina?" He said through gritted teeth.
"I will take that a yes then Gabriel why do you try to ruin things when there so good" I questioned he didn’t answer me he just sulked off in the other direction MEN!!!!!!! I screamed in my head.
I went to find Rhoan to see if he was ok i Knocked softly.
"Come in." He said sounding down.
"Hay I'm just gonna put some coffee on do you want any?" I asked him with a cheeky smile.
He laughed but it didn’t take the sad look away from his eyes.
"You ok?" i asked him lingering in the door way.
He nodded and just smiled i took that as he wanted to be alone so decided to respect his unspoken request.
I turned to close his door.
"Valentina wait." He called out.
I turned back and smiled at him he looked so sad.
"Thanks for making me feel so welcome" he told me.
It had a hidden meaning behind those words and i didn’t realise until later he was saying good bye.
Demitri and i went to our room and like i said earlier i had drawn a unicorn i was sat on the floor and Demitri was laying on the bed just played with my hair he was trying to distract me but once i got engrossed in my drawing i had totally forgot Demitri was there he was very impressed with my work he said "It looks magical" I shrugged
"Its ok i guess i could do better" I told him feeling a bit rubbish and ready to tear it up.
Demitri took it off me and glared at me.
I held my hand out for it but he shook his head playfully.
"Give it here" I begged but he wouldn’t.
"No I’m keeping this it’s beautiful" Demitri said as he moved to put in his journal.
"It’s not for you to keep I drew if for Rhoan" I confessed Demitri stood frozen in the middle of the room and lowered his head.
"Ohh I see." He said glumly.
"No it’s not like that at all, look Rhoan he i don’t know he just he is the first human not to look at me like a freak and he makes me feel like i use to before everything went wrong" I confessed.
"Do you find yourself attracted to him Valentina?" Demitri asked not looking at me his back still turned away from me.
"I pulled Demitri's arm and he let it drop i use force to spin him around he did unwillingly but he didn’t look at me.
"Look at me Demitri" I ordered and he slowly lifted his head until we made eye contact.
"There is no one in this world that can make me feel complete like you do, nobody knows me like you and i don’t want to share my love with anyone but you." I told him he just stared at me.
"And Rhoan, where does he stand all of this." Demitri asked still with no emotion playing on his face.
"Rhoan is a friend a real human friend something i haven’t had for a while" I told him.
"I don’t understand" Demitri said looking confused.
"Before Malachi came into my life i was a popular girl everyone wanted to be my friend but i never really fit in to any group but i was welcome, then when Malachi started talking to me i thought i was crazy and i started to withdraw from everyone because i felt like i was infected." i reveled.
"Infected?" Demitri asked still not understanding.
I had told Demitri some of my human past but not a lot he knew i was unhappy.
I pulled him to sit it wasn’t uncomfortable to stand but it felt right to sit.
"I was in class and i heard his voice for the first time he told me to be calm and explained i needed to get out of the class i looked around thinking someone was playing a joke, no one was close enough to whisper then came the pain the stabbing pain in my head as the voice grew louder i screamed out in agony the teacher was worried about me because of my accident a week before she asked one of my class mates to take me to the Nurse i can’t remember his name but i remember the 25 who Died they were stuck in my head for so long every night i would dream about them each one i blamed myself for a long time Malachi talked to me every day and night from then on and i lost myself a little every day." i told him, Demitri rubbed my back to comfort me.
I chuckled to myself briefly as i remembered something.
"What is it?" Demitri asked stroking my face
"The day of the school explosion the day the 25 died, my father use to sing to me he hadn’t done since i was 5 when i told him i was a big girl now that i didn’t need the monsters scaring off" Demitri chuckled and I carried on "That Night we got back from the hospital i was so upset i didn’t tell them about the voice i heard i didn’t want them to look at me like i was crazy, i was too scared to sleep i left my bedroom light on petrified a 10 year old girl who use to be so head strong and brave reduced to fear in that one whisper Dad came to check on me he saw the light on and came in to see if i was ok he could see the fear in my eyes and she stroked my hair and started to sing softly to me it sent me to sleep not to a happy place but it was sleep."
"What did he sing to you?"
"Hushaby Mountain" I told him he looked lost for a second and smiled at me.
"And Rhoan took you back to that place where you went lost?" Demitri said
I nodded and he smiled lightly
"I understand here you take this and give it to Rhoan" Demitri said kindly.
"Rhoan told me he had ridden a unicorn and i use to dream about them, i wanted one so badly then my heart was broken when i was told they weren’t real, I drew this to see if that’s what they look like" I explained
"Then you should go and find him and show him" Demitri said kissing my cheek
I got up quickly and went to find him i went to the front room and there sat Gabriel he looked really sad and i felt a little bit sorry for him he was a good guy he deserved a break from being told how bad as he is, I asked him where Rhoan was and Gabriel wouldn’t look at me he passed me this letter i scanned it and felt anger grow up inside of me i screwed it up and threw at him i started to shout at him not watching my foul words i couldn’t believe he had pushed him away he pushes everyone away Gabriel grew angry to as i was raging at him for what he did he snapped at me but then calmed himself and i could see he had regret for what he did and what he had said to Rhoan but i was blinded by anger i just couldn’t listen to any more of his crap and i stormed off into my room slamming the door like a diva not getting her way, Demitri had gone i don’t know where but i was alone again all alone why did every one leave me first the 25 in my class then my dad then my mum and Oz even though he didn’t count really but he still left me Malachi has gone to and now Rhoan why I wondered am I that bad that nobody wanted be around me I wondered i laid on the bed for a long time i locked the door that’s when Demitri tried to get in and i told him to leave me alone.
Ten minutes Later Demitri climbed through the window and sat there just staring at me. Finally he spoke.
"I wish there was something I could do" He said looking to the floor.
"Am i really that hideous inside that i scare people off?" I asked him.
"Stop that you are not hideous you are perfect inside and out" Demitri said as he sat down on the bed kissing my nose.
"Then why do they all ways leave me" I asked i turned away not wanting to hear the answer Demitri laid down next to me and put his arms protectively around me and started to hum then his hum turned into song.................
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It feels the sails of boats that are waiting.
Waiting to sail your worries away
it isn’t far to Hushaby Mountain
and your boat waits down by the quay.
the wind of night so softly your sighing
soon they will fly your troubles to see
so close your eyes on hushabye mountain
wave good bye too cares of the day
and watch your boat from hushabye mountain
sail far away from lullaby bay.
I closed my eyes while Demitri scared away the monsters sadly it didn’t last.
Vera was asking for her auntie and i couldn’t ignore her so i went to her and told her a story about unicorns and gave the picture to Lottie to keep for Vera.
Vera slowly started to fall asleep in my arms but she tried to fight it until i sang her the hushaby mountain lullaby and she softly fell into a deep sleep Gabriel walked in with Johanna laughing about something i handed Vera back to Lottie, Bastien and Lottie left the room and Demitri stood to stand by my side. I stood to and Johanna stopped looking scared Gabriel looked a little annoyed by my attitude I pushed by him i turned and said "Shame some monsters never leave." With that I ran off with Demitri calling for me to stop I didn’t stop................
Valentina
I’m really upset and I’ve locked myself in my room i don’t care if i am acting like a child and they can bang on the door all they like i am not coming out until i am ready to, i should just scream at him more make him realise what a cruel and horrible being is but i doubt he would listen to me Gabriel knows best right? Wrong he just hasn’t got a clue.
"JUST GO AWAY"!!!!!!!!!
"Please hunny just open the door, for me" Demitri asked kindly he had panic in his tone none of this was his fault but i just couldn’t bare to be with anyone at the moment i just needed to be alone.
"If you don’t let me i will break this door down" Demitri said getting angry.
"Don’t you dare you will be the second name on my list who i won’t be talking to if you even try" I screamed.
Demitri growled
"He needs to pay for upsetting her" Demitri said to whoever was on the outside of our room, I couldn’t be bothered in trying to work out who.
"Hay no don’t Valentina wouldn’t want that would she?" Bastien said trying to calm Demitri down by the sounds of it.
"I WOULD" i screamed.
"V you don’t know what you’re talking about your angry, we do bad things when we are angry." Bastien said through the door.
"DONT V ME!!!!" i shouted again i hadn’t screamed or acted like this since i was a teenager what was wrong with me.
I heard shuffling off feet they had left me everyone leaves it’s just not fair...........
It all started off so well i thought while i sat holding the picture i had drawn for Rhoan he would never get to see it and i would never know if this what a unicorn looked like, Rhoan knew he had ridden one.
We got back from the party Johanna had found out about, it was so much fun it felt like a reunion having the old gang back together minus Chelsea and Afton but there was enough of us not to feel sad about that and they would be back from their travels and they could tell me some more stories. I met my gorgeous Niece Sophia and made a big fuss of her Jordan really appreciated that i made the effort but how could i not with a face like that. When we got back Johanna went to bed which kind off sucked i wanted dance a little while longer.
I had asked Gabriel earlier that night if Rhoan was coming out to play but he just shrugged and said 'don’t know' in that gruff voice he used when he was wound up.
"You haven’t had an argument have you?" I asked him knowing what Gabriel was like.
"Look what do you want from me Valentina?" He said through gritted teeth.
"I will take that a yes then Gabriel why do you try to ruin things when there so good" I questioned he didn’t answer me he just sulked off in the other direction MEN!!!!!!! I screamed in my head.
I went to find Rhoan to see if he was ok i Knocked softly.
"Come in." He said sounding down.
"Hay I'm just gonna put some coffee on do you want any?" I asked him with a cheeky smile.
He laughed but it didn’t take the sad look away from his eyes.
"You ok?" i asked him lingering in the door way.
He nodded and just smiled i took that as he wanted to be alone so decided to respect his unspoken request.
I turned to close his door.
"Valentina wait." He called out.
I turned back and smiled at him he looked so sad.
"Thanks for making me feel so welcome" he told me.
It had a hidden meaning behind those words and i didn’t realise until later he was saying good bye.
Demitri and i went to our room and like i said earlier i had drawn a unicorn i was sat on the floor and Demitri was laying on the bed just played with my hair he was trying to distract me but once i got engrossed in my drawing i had totally forgot Demitri was there he was very impressed with my work he said "It looks magical" I shrugged
"Its ok i guess i could do better" I told him feeling a bit rubbish and ready to tear it up.
Demitri took it off me and glared at me.
I held my hand out for it but he shook his head playfully.
"Give it here" I begged but he wouldn’t.
"No I’m keeping this it’s beautiful" Demitri said as he moved to put in his journal.
"It’s not for you to keep I drew if for Rhoan" I confessed Demitri stood frozen in the middle of the room and lowered his head.
"Ohh I see." He said glumly.
"No it’s not like that at all, look Rhoan he i don’t know he just he is the first human not to look at me like a freak and he makes me feel like i use to before everything went wrong" I confessed.
"Do you find yourself attracted to him Valentina?" Demitri asked not looking at me his back still turned away from me.
"I pulled Demitri's arm and he let it drop i use force to spin him around he did unwillingly but he didn’t look at me.
"Look at me Demitri" I ordered and he slowly lifted his head until we made eye contact.
"There is no one in this world that can make me feel complete like you do, nobody knows me like you and i don’t want to share my love with anyone but you." I told him he just stared at me.
"And Rhoan, where does he stand all of this." Demitri asked still with no emotion playing on his face.
"Rhoan is a friend a real human friend something i haven’t had for a while" I told him.
"I don’t understand" Demitri said looking confused.
"Before Malachi came into my life i was a popular girl everyone wanted to be my friend but i never really fit in to any group but i was welcome, then when Malachi started talking to me i thought i was crazy and i started to withdraw from everyone because i felt like i was infected." i reveled.
"Infected?" Demitri asked still not understanding.
I had told Demitri some of my human past but not a lot he knew i was unhappy.
I pulled him to sit it wasn’t uncomfortable to stand but it felt right to sit.
"I was in class and i heard his voice for the first time he told me to be calm and explained i needed to get out of the class i looked around thinking someone was playing a joke, no one was close enough to whisper then came the pain the stabbing pain in my head as the voice grew louder i screamed out in agony the teacher was worried about me because of my accident a week before she asked one of my class mates to take me to the Nurse i can’t remember his name but i remember the 25 who Died they were stuck in my head for so long every night i would dream about them each one i blamed myself for a long time Malachi talked to me every day and night from then on and i lost myself a little every day." i told him, Demitri rubbed my back to comfort me.
I chuckled to myself briefly as i remembered something.
"What is it?" Demitri asked stroking my face
"The day of the school explosion the day the 25 died, my father use to sing to me he hadn’t done since i was 5 when i told him i was a big girl now that i didn’t need the monsters scaring off" Demitri chuckled and I carried on "That Night we got back from the hospital i was so upset i didn’t tell them about the voice i heard i didn’t want them to look at me like i was crazy, i was too scared to sleep i left my bedroom light on petrified a 10 year old girl who use to be so head strong and brave reduced to fear in that one whisper Dad came to check on me he saw the light on and came in to see if i was ok he could see the fear in my eyes and she stroked my hair and started to sing softly to me it sent me to sleep not to a happy place but it was sleep."
"What did he sing to you?"
"Hushaby Mountain" I told him he looked lost for a second and smiled at me.
"And Rhoan took you back to that place where you went lost?" Demitri said
I nodded and he smiled lightly
"I understand here you take this and give it to Rhoan" Demitri said kindly.
"Rhoan told me he had ridden a unicorn and i use to dream about them, i wanted one so badly then my heart was broken when i was told they weren’t real, I drew this to see if that’s what they look like" I explained
"Then you should go and find him and show him" Demitri said kissing my cheek
I got up quickly and went to find him i went to the front room and there sat Gabriel he looked really sad and i felt a little bit sorry for him he was a good guy he deserved a break from being told how bad as he is, I asked him where Rhoan was and Gabriel wouldn’t look at me he passed me this letter i scanned it and felt anger grow up inside of me i screwed it up and threw at him i started to shout at him not watching my foul words i couldn’t believe he had pushed him away he pushes everyone away Gabriel grew angry to as i was raging at him for what he did he snapped at me but then calmed himself and i could see he had regret for what he did and what he had said to Rhoan but i was blinded by anger i just couldn’t listen to any more of his crap and i stormed off into my room slamming the door like a diva not getting her way, Demitri had gone i don’t know where but i was alone again all alone why did every one leave me first the 25 in my class then my dad then my mum and Oz even though he didn’t count really but he still left me Malachi has gone to and now Rhoan why I wondered am I that bad that nobody wanted be around me I wondered i laid on the bed for a long time i locked the door that’s when Demitri tried to get in and i told him to leave me alone.
Ten minutes Later Demitri climbed through the window and sat there just staring at me. Finally he spoke.
"I wish there was something I could do" He said looking to the floor.
"Am i really that hideous inside that i scare people off?" I asked him.
"Stop that you are not hideous you are perfect inside and out" Demitri said as he sat down on the bed kissing my nose.
"Then why do they all ways leave me" I asked i turned away not wanting to hear the answer Demitri laid down next to me and put his arms protectively around me and started to hum then his hum turned into song.................
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It feels the sails of boats that are waiting.
Waiting to sail your worries away
it isn’t far to Hushaby Mountain
and your boat waits down by the quay.
the wind of night so softly your sighing
soon they will fly your troubles to see
so close your eyes on hushabye mountain
wave good bye too cares of the day
and watch your boat from hushabye mountain
sail far away from lullaby bay.
I closed my eyes while Demitri scared away the monsters sadly it didn’t last.
Vera was asking for her auntie and i couldn’t ignore her so i went to her and told her a story about unicorns and gave the picture to Lottie to keep for Vera.
Vera slowly started to fall asleep in my arms but she tried to fight it until i sang her the hushaby mountain lullaby and she softly fell into a deep sleep Gabriel walked in with Johanna laughing about something i handed Vera back to Lottie, Bastien and Lottie left the room and Demitri stood to stand by my side. I stood to and Johanna stopped looking scared Gabriel looked a little annoyed by my attitude I pushed by him i turned and said "Shame some monsters never leave." With that I ran off with Demitri calling for me to stop I didn’t stop................
Valentina
