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LEARNING TO ADAPTE...
April 14th, 2011
Uh....what do I say now? Things have been interesting around here. And Johanna has made it that way. I don't know about her anymore. I love her so much and feel the need to claim her as mine, but she does such weird stuff! Its hard to live with her. And hard to put of with her. I thought all humans were just odd, but no! This girl is mental or something! Anyway, here is what happened:
First, she makes me go with her into town. Not exactly what I wanted to spend a friday doing. Well, actually, I didn't want to spend any day doing that! She drives and I sit and watch the land blur by.
"Thanks for coming with me!" She chirps.
I smile and nod.
After a couple minutes of me not saying anything, she decided to keep the conversation going, "I think we need to talk." A deep, shaky breath, "Why did I dream about you for all those months?"
My head snaps up.
"You dreamt about me?"
I didn't mean for it to sound arrogant or anything. But, were these shared dreams?
"Yeah, that's why I said that I dreamt about you. Well, you and a little girl with black hair."
I stop breathing and time seems to stand still. In almost all of my dreams, she was there with Catia. We shared dreams! We-oh! We shared some frightening dreams.
"Were you ever trapped as a skeleton in one of your dreams?"
"Yeah! How did ya know?" She smiles.
"How can you say that with a smile?! That's horrible and morbid!" What the hell kind of human is she?!
"I don't know! Stop yelling at me! Why can't you be sensitive and sweet like you are in our dreams with the little girl?!"
Our. I do love the sound of that. OUR dreams. OUR life. It sounds perfect, doesn't it?
"That was a dream. This is reality-"
"Who was that little girl?" Johanna interrupts.
"Uh-well, um. She was my daughter. Her name was Catia." I say sadly.
"Aha! A reaction!" She points and giggles at my changed expression, "Wait. What do you mean 'was'? Won't she always be your daughter?"
"Well, yes. But she died 621 years ago-"
"So? Memories live on forever."
I know that. It kills me sometimes.
Just when I'm done talking and want this conversation to end, Johanna keeps talking.
"So tell me about her mother."
Leave it to her to bring up that topic of all others!
"My wife, Natalia. She is dead also. I didn't love her," those words felt weird coming out of my mouth. I didn't love her, but it seemed mean to say so out loud, "it was an arranged marriage. I did everything possible to try and get out of it," images of bars and bleeding noses filled my mind, "but someone convinced me to go back. That someone was my oldest brother, Nikolai, and I always hated him for taking me back. Always." No feelings of hatred surface at his name but I know I never forgave him for that. For making me give up freedom.
"Nikolai. That's a nice name. You still never told me about Natailia-"
"There is nothing to say."
"Well then-" she was hurt that I had cut her off, "what happened to Nikolai? Did he-"
"I killed him." Short and to the point.
The lights went out for him. That's what he gets for forcing me into marriage. And he deserved that bit of pain for the pain that I feel every day at losing Catia.
No more talking on that trip. None at all.
We get inside and start putting the groceries away.
"Johanna! Come play with us!" Alec says waving some sort of game remote.
"Well, I'm kinda," Her stomach let's out a grumble, "busy right now. And I know how bad this all must smell to you-"
"No way! We're fine." Alec tries to say convincingly.
"No we're not." Felix says running up the stairs.
Johanna laughs, "I'll eat quick and be right up." Alec accepts her answer and turns to go challenge the guys.
'Hey! Thanks for the invite!' I want to shout at him, but I know that I would have declined anyway.
Johanna starts boiling water and throwing a whole bunch of ingredients in there.
"So what are you making?" I ask casually leaning against the counter.
"Macaroni and cheese. Its my favorite." She tastes it, "want a taste?"
I know I really shouldn't. I mean, I hate being in human bodies. Its an out of world experience for me but- its so tempting.
So I change into human Gabriel.
Johanna doesn't appear that shocked, probably because I still look the same. She holds the spoon to my lips and the warm noodles slide down my throat.
Mmmmmmm! Never had I had such great modern human food! It was delicious!
"Delicious." I say changing back into my vampire self.
She smiles and pours half of the noodles into a small bowl for herself. We sit down at the kitchen table and I watch her eat.
"So you can do that anytime? And change into anything?"
"Yes. Its easier to do though, when I know who I'm changing into, or when I have a connection to them." I say the last part looking into her eyes. She is my soul mate. I can feel it!
"Cool." Is all she says. After she is done eating, she tosses the bowl into the sink and runs upstairs shouting at Alec that he better be ready for her.
So, my love likes being with them better then me I suppose. Maybe I am not giving her enough space? Jordan's house could always use some work. I grab the tools and run out to it. Its coming along fine. These next 4 hours I spend in perfect silence building. It was calming to do, and nice to let all my thoughts wander around without being afraid that Faine or Jordan would catch bits of them.
As the sun was setting, I decided I had done enough for the day. Back to the house I went.
Johanna was sitting in the kitchen screaming at the boys about cheat codes and that they are 'an insult to the x-box world'. Hmm, sounds friendly.
"Oh! Hey Gabe! Where ya been?" She asks me.
I flinch a bit at the nickname. I don't really like it.
"Building," I reply.
"You should've told me! I would've liked to help."
Maybe she does still like me? Maybe I was thinking all wrong? Let's hope so.
Johanna stretches and yawns, "I guess I should get some sleep."
We agree with her when we notice the clock actually says its 11.
I sit down with everyone and listen to words of approval from the guys. I let out a loud sigh. Nice to see they approve of her gaming skills! How about the rest of her?! How about her mind and caring heart?!
Losers.
We all turn around to see Johanna walking down the stairs in her pajamas and a blanket around her shoulders.
"Goodnight, guys." She says while walking out the door.
Some mumble a goodnight, others look at me with a 'what the hell is she doing?' look.
I shrug but get up to go find out.
When I open the door I see Johanna sitting in the grass with her knees tucked under her chin and her head tilted towards the sky.
I sit down next to her and look up as well.
"Why do human girls always look at the stars?" I ask.
Without looking away, she replies, "'Do we gaze at the stars because we are human?'" A short pause, "'Or are we human because we gaze at the stars?'"
I think for a minute and then say, "I do not know."
She leans her head on my shoulder and whispers, "Neither do I."
A sweet romantic moment, right? But things will turn ugly, as they always do:
A couple minutes later, she asks me, "Gabriel, I was wearing a cross when I came looking for you. Have you seen it? Its a pretty gold one with small rubies in it."
"No," I snap in reply.
She is hurt and gazes deep into my eyes, "Gabriel?"
I don't answer.
"Don't you believe in God?" She asks me.
I am standing up and away from her, shaking my head with a disgusted look on my face.
"No. I don't. I don't need God, all I need is myself."
She is shaking her head and trying to argue with me.
"Don't argue with a vampire! You will always lose!" I yell at her. Of course, she does not listen.
"I only followed you to find out what the hell you were doing out here."
"Sleeping," she says wiping tears from her eyes.
"Sleeping?! Outside?! Don't you need a tent or something?" This girl is really getting me angry!
"I wanna sleep under the stars. Do you have a problem with that? Is it too human for you?" She argues.
"No. YOU are too human for me." I abruptly turn and walk into the house.
"Leave her." I say before anyone can ask what happened, "she's sleeping out there."
Damnit, Johanna! Why can't you just be like everyone else?! Why does she have to fight with me? Why is she so-so-SO HUMAN?!?
-Gabriel
April 14th, 2011
Uh....what do I say now? Things have been interesting around here. And Johanna has made it that way. I don't know about her anymore. I love her so much and feel the need to claim her as mine, but she does such weird stuff! Its hard to live with her. And hard to put of with her. I thought all humans were just odd, but no! This girl is mental or something! Anyway, here is what happened:
First, she makes me go with her into town. Not exactly what I wanted to spend a friday doing. Well, actually, I didn't want to spend any day doing that! She drives and I sit and watch the land blur by.
"Thanks for coming with me!" She chirps.
I smile and nod.
After a couple minutes of me not saying anything, she decided to keep the conversation going, "I think we need to talk." A deep, shaky breath, "Why did I dream about you for all those months?"
My head snaps up.
"You dreamt about me?"
I didn't mean for it to sound arrogant or anything. But, were these shared dreams?
"Yeah, that's why I said that I dreamt about you. Well, you and a little girl with black hair."
I stop breathing and time seems to stand still. In almost all of my dreams, she was there with Catia. We shared dreams! We-oh! We shared some frightening dreams.
"Were you ever trapped as a skeleton in one of your dreams?"
"Yeah! How did ya know?" She smiles.
"How can you say that with a smile?! That's horrible and morbid!" What the hell kind of human is she?!
"I don't know! Stop yelling at me! Why can't you be sensitive and sweet like you are in our dreams with the little girl?!"
Our. I do love the sound of that. OUR dreams. OUR life. It sounds perfect, doesn't it?
"That was a dream. This is reality-"
"Who was that little girl?" Johanna interrupts.
"Uh-well, um. She was my daughter. Her name was Catia." I say sadly.
"Aha! A reaction!" She points and giggles at my changed expression, "Wait. What do you mean 'was'? Won't she always be your daughter?"
"Well, yes. But she died 621 years ago-"
"So? Memories live on forever."
I know that. It kills me sometimes.
Just when I'm done talking and want this conversation to end, Johanna keeps talking.
"So tell me about her mother."
Leave it to her to bring up that topic of all others!
"My wife, Natalia. She is dead also. I didn't love her," those words felt weird coming out of my mouth. I didn't love her, but it seemed mean to say so out loud, "it was an arranged marriage. I did everything possible to try and get out of it," images of bars and bleeding noses filled my mind, "but someone convinced me to go back. That someone was my oldest brother, Nikolai, and I always hated him for taking me back. Always." No feelings of hatred surface at his name but I know I never forgave him for that. For making me give up freedom.
"Nikolai. That's a nice name. You still never told me about Natailia-"
"There is nothing to say."
"Well then-" she was hurt that I had cut her off, "what happened to Nikolai? Did he-"
"I killed him." Short and to the point.
The lights went out for him. That's what he gets for forcing me into marriage. And he deserved that bit of pain for the pain that I feel every day at losing Catia.
No more talking on that trip. None at all.
We get inside and start putting the groceries away.
"Johanna! Come play with us!" Alec says waving some sort of game remote.
"Well, I'm kinda," Her stomach let's out a grumble, "busy right now. And I know how bad this all must smell to you-"
"No way! We're fine." Alec tries to say convincingly.
"No we're not." Felix says running up the stairs.
Johanna laughs, "I'll eat quick and be right up." Alec accepts her answer and turns to go challenge the guys.
'Hey! Thanks for the invite!' I want to shout at him, but I know that I would have declined anyway.
Johanna starts boiling water and throwing a whole bunch of ingredients in there.
"So what are you making?" I ask casually leaning against the counter.
"Macaroni and cheese. Its my favorite." She tastes it, "want a taste?"
I know I really shouldn't. I mean, I hate being in human bodies. Its an out of world experience for me but- its so tempting.
So I change into human Gabriel.
Johanna doesn't appear that shocked, probably because I still look the same. She holds the spoon to my lips and the warm noodles slide down my throat.
Mmmmmmm! Never had I had such great modern human food! It was delicious!
"Delicious." I say changing back into my vampire self.
She smiles and pours half of the noodles into a small bowl for herself. We sit down at the kitchen table and I watch her eat.
"So you can do that anytime? And change into anything?"
"Yes. Its easier to do though, when I know who I'm changing into, or when I have a connection to them." I say the last part looking into her eyes. She is my soul mate. I can feel it!
"Cool." Is all she says. After she is done eating, she tosses the bowl into the sink and runs upstairs shouting at Alec that he better be ready for her.
So, my love likes being with them better then me I suppose. Maybe I am not giving her enough space? Jordan's house could always use some work. I grab the tools and run out to it. Its coming along fine. These next 4 hours I spend in perfect silence building. It was calming to do, and nice to let all my thoughts wander around without being afraid that Faine or Jordan would catch bits of them.
As the sun was setting, I decided I had done enough for the day. Back to the house I went.
Johanna was sitting in the kitchen screaming at the boys about cheat codes and that they are 'an insult to the x-box world'. Hmm, sounds friendly.
"Oh! Hey Gabe! Where ya been?" She asks me.
I flinch a bit at the nickname. I don't really like it.
"Building," I reply.
"You should've told me! I would've liked to help."
Maybe she does still like me? Maybe I was thinking all wrong? Let's hope so.
Johanna stretches and yawns, "I guess I should get some sleep."
We agree with her when we notice the clock actually says its 11.
I sit down with everyone and listen to words of approval from the guys. I let out a loud sigh. Nice to see they approve of her gaming skills! How about the rest of her?! How about her mind and caring heart?!
Losers.
We all turn around to see Johanna walking down the stairs in her pajamas and a blanket around her shoulders.
"Goodnight, guys." She says while walking out the door.
Some mumble a goodnight, others look at me with a 'what the hell is she doing?' look.
I shrug but get up to go find out.
When I open the door I see Johanna sitting in the grass with her knees tucked under her chin and her head tilted towards the sky.
I sit down next to her and look up as well.
"Why do human girls always look at the stars?" I ask.
Without looking away, she replies, "'Do we gaze at the stars because we are human?'" A short pause, "'Or are we human because we gaze at the stars?'"
I think for a minute and then say, "I do not know."
She leans her head on my shoulder and whispers, "Neither do I."
A sweet romantic moment, right? But things will turn ugly, as they always do:
A couple minutes later, she asks me, "Gabriel, I was wearing a cross when I came looking for you. Have you seen it? Its a pretty gold one with small rubies in it."
"No," I snap in reply.
She is hurt and gazes deep into my eyes, "Gabriel?"
I don't answer.
"Don't you believe in God?" She asks me.
I am standing up and away from her, shaking my head with a disgusted look on my face.
"No. I don't. I don't need God, all I need is myself."
She is shaking her head and trying to argue with me.
"Don't argue with a vampire! You will always lose!" I yell at her. Of course, she does not listen.
"I only followed you to find out what the hell you were doing out here."
"Sleeping," she says wiping tears from her eyes.
"Sleeping?! Outside?! Don't you need a tent or something?" This girl is really getting me angry!
"I wanna sleep under the stars. Do you have a problem with that? Is it too human for you?" She argues.
"No. YOU are too human for me." I abruptly turn and walk into the house.
"Leave her." I say before anyone can ask what happened, "she's sleeping out there."
Damnit, Johanna! Why can't you just be like everyone else?! Why does she have to fight with me? Why is she so-so-SO HUMAN?!?
-Gabriel
Johanna