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I’M DONE
March 7th, 2011
These past thirteen days have gone by so fast and I could hardly distinguish one day from the one before. Most of the time, I was in my hotel room with the blinds shut, sometimes I had them open and sat on the balcony. One time I indulged myself enough to take my own human form and stroll along the beach. That one time, I saw Johnny again. He had a cast on his right arm and a broken nose, so I waved and sent him a giddy smile. Let’s just say that I’m pretty sure I appear in that boy’s nightmares.
Last night was…interesting. Last night I got rid of the last of my birth. I decided that just handing them to a person wasn’t good enough, I had to spread them. That means that in the dead of night I crept down to the beach. I waded into the water and opened the top of the can. With one last look at her ashes, I tilted the cup and watched them fly out and land in the water or fly along the wind. In no time at all, the waves had Kali’s ashes churned up and away from each other. I dashed out of the water and sat at the edge watching the waves roll along. Waves don’t end, my life doesn’t end. Does that mean that Kali’s doesn’t? If everything good has ended, then does the bad exist forever?
As I sat watching the water churn and pondering the existence of Evil, the sun began to rise.
The sky went from black to grey, then a hazy mist color, and then a shimmering gold on the horizon. That shimmering gold got bigger and brought blazing oranges and vibrant reds! To be honest, I thought it was beautiful. And I also thought that the vampires in Kerry would be seeing the same sun rise as me. No matter how far away we are from each other, we can always be together through the sun. As the sun begins to take it’s full effect I stand up and start back towards the hotel. I won’t make it back without someone seeing me so I Shift into human form and leisurely stroll down the boardwalk. The idea of Evil existing while the life of Good is snuffed out continues to haunt me. I am alone on the boardwalk except for a man playing an acoustic guitar.
“’Want to learn how to play?’” he asks.
I pull out my pockets, “’I don’t have any money to pay you with.’”
The guy shrugs and pushes the guitar into my hands. Until noon that day I am being drilled on chords of the guitar. Thank god I am a fast leaner otherwise I would have shoved the instrument down his throat! I got so angry with the stupid thing.
“’Thank you for teaching me.’” I say handing it back to the man.
He looks at the guitar, then at me and all of the sudden his face takes on a different look, completely different, “’No, Thank you.’” He places the guitar back in my hands and walks away. I call after him but he has vanished into the sea of people. I go back to the hotel and wait quietly until I can go to the airport in the cover of night.
I leave a large tip for the maid since she put up with a lot of my orders and shenanigans. While reaching for my bag, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A fugitive on the run. I Shift into my brother and My mind starts racing:
I wonder if I would have looked like my brother? Would I have been his look alike had I remained human, took over the family business with him, had a wife and played cards twice a week with the prestigious men of our town? I stare at his reflection in the hotel mirror, his short dark brown hair and blue eyes (like the rest of my family), his 5' 9" height and his neat tuxedo. Yup, Nikolai is all dressed up to go to a Christmas party.
I shift into my human form. For a long time I just stare at him, stare at the empty soul, stare at the useless excuse of a boy. He is everything his family wasn't. The boy with the piercing green eyes, long black hair, an unshaven face. He's 6' 5", his eye is blackened and his nose is crooked from being in a fight at the bar. His trousers are dirty and his shirt is wrinkled and stained with blood and spilt alcohol. Yeah, this kid is ready to break his mothers heart and wreck the fun of the party by staggering in drunk and making his brother late.
The people laughed at this boy and insulted him, they called him a gypsy, a brat, an un-thankful ingrate, among other ugly names.
I shift back into Nikolai. Everyone praised him and said he would be the king of business, he would make any family happy and proud with a face that expressed happiness and pride, a face that his youngest brother did not have and never would.
Would it be that just because he would never have amounted to anything or because he was destined to become a vampire? I guess I won't get to know, no one gets to know what would have been, that's a gift. And no one deserves a gift like that.
I stare at my vampire self in the mirror. If I could take one guess as to how my face would be if I stayed human, it would be the same as it was that Christmas eve because I would never amount to anything. I was destined to disappoint for eternity. Disappoint myself, disappoint my family, disappoint my daughter, disappoint Johanna. I just overall disappoint. If there is a way to mess things up, I find it.
I grab the guitar and my bag and run for the airport.
“’Hello sir! Welcome to California International Airport. Where-?’”
“’Send me to Ireland.’” I cut him off.
I get a nasty look (I deserved it), “’You made it just in time. The flight is boarding now.’”
I snatch the ticket from his hand and dash towards gate 5. I flop into the airplane seat and let my mind wander for the next 11 hours. I wander from Catia to Johnny, from Kali to Faine, to the Cullens and finally, quite a bit on myself. I had so many thoughts about each that it would be impossible to write them all down.
Those long 11 hours later has me pushing and shoving my way off the plane and out the airport doors. Hhmmm- on second thought: I whistle for a taxi and hop into the car. I give him directions and I am on my way to County Kerry in the south of Ireland. I’m so close! I smell them. Alec and Faine and Demetri and Valentina! I smell them all! The taxi lurches to a stop and I throw cash into the front seat. I grasp my guitar by the neck and stride up to the door.
Knock-Knock-Knock.
-Gabriel
March 7th, 2011
These past thirteen days have gone by so fast and I could hardly distinguish one day from the one before. Most of the time, I was in my hotel room with the blinds shut, sometimes I had them open and sat on the balcony. One time I indulged myself enough to take my own human form and stroll along the beach. That one time, I saw Johnny again. He had a cast on his right arm and a broken nose, so I waved and sent him a giddy smile. Let’s just say that I’m pretty sure I appear in that boy’s nightmares.
Last night was…interesting. Last night I got rid of the last of my birth. I decided that just handing them to a person wasn’t good enough, I had to spread them. That means that in the dead of night I crept down to the beach. I waded into the water and opened the top of the can. With one last look at her ashes, I tilted the cup and watched them fly out and land in the water or fly along the wind. In no time at all, the waves had Kali’s ashes churned up and away from each other. I dashed out of the water and sat at the edge watching the waves roll along. Waves don’t end, my life doesn’t end. Does that mean that Kali’s doesn’t? If everything good has ended, then does the bad exist forever?
As I sat watching the water churn and pondering the existence of Evil, the sun began to rise.
The sky went from black to grey, then a hazy mist color, and then a shimmering gold on the horizon. That shimmering gold got bigger and brought blazing oranges and vibrant reds! To be honest, I thought it was beautiful. And I also thought that the vampires in Kerry would be seeing the same sun rise as me. No matter how far away we are from each other, we can always be together through the sun. As the sun begins to take it’s full effect I stand up and start back towards the hotel. I won’t make it back without someone seeing me so I Shift into human form and leisurely stroll down the boardwalk. The idea of Evil existing while the life of Good is snuffed out continues to haunt me. I am alone on the boardwalk except for a man playing an acoustic guitar.
“’Want to learn how to play?’” he asks.
I pull out my pockets, “’I don’t have any money to pay you with.’”
The guy shrugs and pushes the guitar into my hands. Until noon that day I am being drilled on chords of the guitar. Thank god I am a fast leaner otherwise I would have shoved the instrument down his throat! I got so angry with the stupid thing.
“’Thank you for teaching me.’” I say handing it back to the man.
He looks at the guitar, then at me and all of the sudden his face takes on a different look, completely different, “’No, Thank you.’” He places the guitar back in my hands and walks away. I call after him but he has vanished into the sea of people. I go back to the hotel and wait quietly until I can go to the airport in the cover of night.
I leave a large tip for the maid since she put up with a lot of my orders and shenanigans. While reaching for my bag, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A fugitive on the run. I Shift into my brother and My mind starts racing:
I wonder if I would have looked like my brother? Would I have been his look alike had I remained human, took over the family business with him, had a wife and played cards twice a week with the prestigious men of our town? I stare at his reflection in the hotel mirror, his short dark brown hair and blue eyes (like the rest of my family), his 5' 9" height and his neat tuxedo. Yup, Nikolai is all dressed up to go to a Christmas party.
I shift into my human form. For a long time I just stare at him, stare at the empty soul, stare at the useless excuse of a boy. He is everything his family wasn't. The boy with the piercing green eyes, long black hair, an unshaven face. He's 6' 5", his eye is blackened and his nose is crooked from being in a fight at the bar. His trousers are dirty and his shirt is wrinkled and stained with blood and spilt alcohol. Yeah, this kid is ready to break his mothers heart and wreck the fun of the party by staggering in drunk and making his brother late.
The people laughed at this boy and insulted him, they called him a gypsy, a brat, an un-thankful ingrate, among other ugly names.
I shift back into Nikolai. Everyone praised him and said he would be the king of business, he would make any family happy and proud with a face that expressed happiness and pride, a face that his youngest brother did not have and never would.
Would it be that just because he would never have amounted to anything or because he was destined to become a vampire? I guess I won't get to know, no one gets to know what would have been, that's a gift. And no one deserves a gift like that.
I stare at my vampire self in the mirror. If I could take one guess as to how my face would be if I stayed human, it would be the same as it was that Christmas eve because I would never amount to anything. I was destined to disappoint for eternity. Disappoint myself, disappoint my family, disappoint my daughter, disappoint Johanna. I just overall disappoint. If there is a way to mess things up, I find it.
I grab the guitar and my bag and run for the airport.
“’Hello sir! Welcome to California International Airport. Where-?’”
“’Send me to Ireland.’” I cut him off.
I get a nasty look (I deserved it), “’You made it just in time. The flight is boarding now.’”
I snatch the ticket from his hand and dash towards gate 5. I flop into the airplane seat and let my mind wander for the next 11 hours. I wander from Catia to Johnny, from Kali to Faine, to the Cullens and finally, quite a bit on myself. I had so many thoughts about each that it would be impossible to write them all down.
Those long 11 hours later has me pushing and shoving my way off the plane and out the airport doors. Hhmmm- on second thought: I whistle for a taxi and hop into the car. I give him directions and I am on my way to County Kerry in the south of Ireland. I’m so close! I smell them. Alec and Faine and Demetri and Valentina! I smell them all! The taxi lurches to a stop and I throw cash into the front seat. I grasp my guitar by the neck and stride up to the door.
Knock-Knock-Knock.
-Gabriel