RUBY

I woke up with a sharp pain in my tummy low, it wasn’t gas it was a hell of a lot sharper than that, it was as if someone was carving me with a screwdriver and I screamed out in agony. Kalib came in, barked, and licked my hand. I woke up and found I was drenched in sweat. Oh, thank god it was just a nightmare. I tried to turn over but the pain shot up through me and I shrieked out again. I looked down wondering what was happening to me and saw two dots of blood? Blood? But I couldn’t be having my period? I’m pregnant for god’s sake. Then I remembered reading something about spotting during pregnancy from that book Faine had gotten me to read so I could learn what to expect so I relaxed. The book said it was normal. I was 14 weeks pregnant now and so happy at the prospect of becoming a mom. I would never treat him or her as if they sucked the life out of me and drained me of my existence or that the baby was ever holding me back from living my life. Sure I was gonna be a teenage mom but my mother had made me feel like I was a virus that had infected her. I would never treat my child like that. From the first minute I realised I was gonna have a baby I loved it. I had a feeling that it was going to be a girl so when I rubbed my bump I talked to her and called her Ruby! Ruby and me were gonna do everything and be real good friends. I never again wanted to see the evil thing that insisted on calling herself my mother. I hated her before I got pregnant but even more so when she wanted to kill the one thing I loved more than life itself. I need to go to the toilet but when I tried to get up but the pain that flooded my body made me double over in agony. Tears filled my eyes and ran down over my cheeks. What is wrong with me? I heard a shuffling of feet and knew paddy was coming to check on me. Kalib had been whining which got his attention. I couldn’t even speak to tell him not to come into me. I looked down on the floor and saw drops of blood. I was mortified. Fear gripped me and my heart started to pound in my chest. Oh god, I thought as a thought hit me, I couldn’t be losing Ruby could I?
“NOOoooOOOOOOOOOo” I shrieked and paddy came in as fast as he could.
“What’s wrong a leanbh (child) are you in pain?”
I nodded once, in too much pain to say anything.
“I’ll get faine, she’ll know what to do” and he left the room. Kalib stayed by my side licking my hand every now and again. I had to get down to Faine’s she’ll help me. I tried dressing myself but every slight movement was agony… It felt as if a zillion knives were slicing through me. I could hardly breathe but I managed to get into the kitchen.
“I can’t get hold of faine; her mobile must be out of range. Hang on Lottie, where are you going? Come back love, one of them others will be up.”
“Thanks” I said through gritted teeth. “I have to find her.” I was breathing shallowly now, the pain had eased a bit so I was able to calm down and rub my bump, “Don’t worry Ruby, faine will help, we’ll be fine.” I said to her in my mind. “It’ll be alright, mammy’s here.” as I was talking to her I felt myself relax and I realised by trying to console Ruby I could distract myself enough from the pain so I managed to make it down the hill slowly to the lower field, and then I felt something warm oozing down my legs and the pain gripped me again. I stood frozen, silently screeching, I knew it was thick blood oozing down my leg.
“No Ruby, you can’t leave me, I need you, I love you, please oh please don’t leave me” I felt my heartbreak and I collapsed onto the ground and then everything went black.
Next thing I became aware of were voices. I didn’t recognise anyone in this dream. I thought they are talking about me. I heard a man say the baby is gone.
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo” I shrieked not my Ruby, I was filled with such anger that snuffed out my ability to breathe or speak. I heard another scream coming from far away that seemed to join my chorus. Then I felt something sharp on my stomach and then heat finally flooded into my body and mind. GOOD! I was dying too so I could be with my little Ruby. The heat got warmer and hotter until I felt like I had stepped into a fire. Oh god, I have gone to hell. Guess the priests weren’t lying after all. Pregnancy outside marriage is a sin after all. Well I didn’t care. I had no one to love or to love me here anyway. Oh, god will this fire ever stop. Surely, I wasn’t so evil that I deserved to burn like this. I could hear someone near me and found this weird. Faine started speaking to me. She was so sorry I had lost the little baby. She smelt that the blood was wrong. What the hell, sorry god, but what was she on about? The blood was posionous. She thought it was me who was going to die? Aren’t I dying? Aren’t I in hell paying for my sins? Ruby is dead. Oh god, I felt my insides tearing even more and I felt myself snap and die. I was here but I wasn’t here. I was aware of faine changing my clothes, cleaning me and speaking softly to me like a real mother would. I had a tremendous feeling of the thoughts of honesty in the pit of my stomach. I heard a man saying earlier he had heard my heart flutter faintly and that my blood had become irresistible and he had to have a taste. What the fuck did that mean? There’s no such thing as vampires. Then again, if there were, knowing my luck, it would have to be me he’d bite. Cop on to yourself Lottie girl, there’s no such thing as vampires. I tuned in again to Faine’s ramblings. Did she just call me Seamus? Sheesh. Here was I burning in hell and holding stupid conversations with myself, being able to listen to faine at the same time. Since when was my attention so good? I had to shut down my feelings for Ruby, I can’t think about her now the burning is consuming my full attention. So I concentrate on faine and what she is saying… I feel like I’m being pulled in her direction to listen to what she is saying even though I really don’t want to. She’s saying the burning will stop soon and I’ll be like her. What? What does that mean? Who’s Demitri? Sounds Italian or something he ain’t Irish anyway.
Faine stopped fussing around with me finally, I’m sure all trace of my little Ruby was gone too. Nothing left of her to even bury. Oh my god, why did you have to be so cruel god? Why did you have to take her from me? I hate you and don’t care if I do stay here in hell and burning damnation at least here, I can feel something. I felt my heart rate speed up. It sounded like horses galloping across the beach. The same sound I had heard when the doctor had let me listen to Ruby’s heartbeat on his little monitor thingy. Oh Ruby, I never even met you but I feel so lost without you.
OH! My heart has stopped beating. Yeah, I’m dead. But the burning is gone and in it’s place is everything. I am completely aware of everything. I open my eyes and the first person I see is Faine. She looks different. It’s not just her eyes but her face. She look…..perfect. So much more beautiful than before. He hair that I thought was red had blondish streaks in it and her skin sparkles? What is she Barbie???? How have I never noticed that before? When she started speaking to me her voice sounded musical like she was singing not talking.
“Wait what did you say? I’m a what? A vampire?” I started to laugh at her and ended up screaming at her. I looked around me and realised I was standing behind the bed timidly. When did I stand up or get off the bed? I heard a low growl and looked around wilding for kalib. Who else would growl like that but there was no sign of my little friend. I looked around so fast again amazed that it wasn’t al blurry and saw Alec behind faine and two more people I didn’t recognise. They were stunning looking like faine and wow Alec too; wow he was a hunk why had I not noticed him before? The other two were short one dark haired girl and one blond man. All four were staring at me. I looked at faine again and said
“I’m thirsty, could I please have a drink of water.”
“You won’t like water now, what you need is blood!”
“Sorry, what did you say? I asked her incredulously “EW, that’s disgusting, I’m a human not a vampire, and can I just have water please.”
Faine looked to the other girl
“Alice would you get Lottie a drink of water please.” Alice nodded and was gone in a flash and as if by magic returned instantly with a glass of water and a glass of red wine.
“Oh yeah, lets toast the death of my baby” I said in a dead voice. Faine gave me the water
“Here drink but you won’t like it.”
“Why is it poisoned?” I asked not caring taking a sip anyway “EW, this water is disgusting what the hell, you water tastes like sick.”
“Give me the wine instead.”
“It’s not wine but have it I bet you’ll find it much tastier” faine said.
I sniffed the second glass and it was much more appealing.
“Mmmmmm this is delicious: I said and threw it back in one gulp. “More please.” Alice came back with about 6 small bags of wine!” wow, you’re trying to get me drunk aren’t ya?” she shook her head but smiled.
“No, but it’ll help with your thirst. You’ll need more but we’ll have to take you out hunting, this is the last of our supply.”
“Don’t you mean shopping” I muttered dryly and I gorged myself on the wine bags.
“No, hunting,” said Alec, “You’re drinking blood not wine.” he said. I dropped the bag while savouring the taste in my mouth at the same time.
“What have you done to me? And why am I drinking blood?” I screamed at him.
“You’re a vampire, you were bleeding a lot when you miscarried and one of the vampires here couldn’t resist and bit you and the fire you felt was the venom spreading through your body healing you and turning you into a vampire.” said faine.
“So, it wasn’t’ enough that I was losing my baby but a freaking vampire just had to bite me and cause me even more agony and why did the fuck did you think it would be okay to just change me into a freaking freaky vampire, who asked you to do that to me? I shrieked at faine. Why the hell couldn’t you let me die to join my baby I hate all of you. There’s no such thing as vampires there can’t be” I said, “fucks sake, I’m Irish. I’d have believed you if you said leprechaun but come on now I’m not that stupid” I sneered at them.
“Good idea Alice” said faine nodding.
Now what? I wondered…ME….A….VAMPIRE…….what a load of shite. DRINKING BLOOD ME ARSE….but some part of me acknowledged that that made sense. I could see everything around me including the dust like it were crystal clear, I looked out the window and spotted the MOON???????????/ But how? My eyes much have been damaged in the fire. It looks like broad daylight outside? How the hell is the moon shining? I could see every rock, tree and plant. I could hear cows that were nowhere near here, I could hear a dog-barking, hello I could even hear cars passing but there were no cars for at least 5 miles or so from here. I pinched myself I must be dreaming, a really weird seriously messed up dream. I’m still pregnant and am having one of those weird dreams they talked about to do with hormones in the book. But my skin feels different, hard, but so soft to touch. No dry skin. I rubbed my face to see if my teenage acne had magically disappeared too and was stunned to feel pure soft skin, not a pimple in sight. What the? I needed a mirror, maybe I’m not me anymore, was I not burnt to a crisp in the fire? At that instant in waltzed Alice with a full-length mirror. I stared at the girl looking back at me and didn’t know her. She had my nose and hair and that was about it. The eyes were fiery red. I had a slightly crooked nose where I’d broken a bit off it during one of the countless times my mother had dropped me as a baby…..what? She couldn’t even hang on to me as a baby or did she wish I’d die in the fall? Bitch! The girl staring back at me smiled smugly. She was stunning I so wish I were her. I’d get any fella then including Daniel Moloney who didn’t know I even existed. I reached up to scratch my head and realised the girl in the mirror did too. That is Me.????/ I did a little dance and mirror girl copied me. Hmmmmm this is gonna be interesting. I turned to Faine then and said
“I’m ready to meet everyone else. I know there are a lot of people in this house.” She smiled at me and held out her hand to me. I gladly took it because for all my bravado I didn’t feel at all brave and didn’t know what to expect. We went downstairs, Alice and the blonde-haired man first, then Alec, then me and Faine. Downstairs were lots of people. OH! Great The Family! I thought. I saw one good-looking guy smirk at me as he wrapped his arm around a girl with long brown hair. They seemed to pull back a bit from the others and I wondered why. Faine directed me towards the group and indicated to each one, Jordan and her fiancé, Josh, Katy and her husband Felix, Chelsea and her husband Afton, Valentina and her mate Demitri. There was something drawing me to him and I knew then he was the one who had bitten me so I gave him the dirtiest look that I could give and he hung his head in shame. The woman, Valentina stood in front of him protectively and said
“He couldn’t help it, sorry.” SORRY, what the hell was I supposed to do with that? Flippin sorry, huh by the time I’m done with him he will be sorry I decided. I glared at her too. I looked forward to the first guy who smirked at me and Faine said
“That’s Edward, he’s Alice’s brother and that’s his wife Bella.
“How bout him” I said indicating to the blond fella.
“That’s Jasper, he’s Alice’s husband. And that’s all the family Lottie welcome to the Kerry Coven.” I looked at her incredulously, you’re kidding right, welcome! I hate you all I thought. How fucking cosy you all are I thought and the Edward guy smirked at me again and in less than a heartbeat I was in front of him growling at him poking my finger into his chest
“Who the fuck are you smirking at me for. Do I fucking know you? Well do I? No I don’t so fuck off, does your wife know you’re gawping at me” I turned my back on him and went and stood by Faine. I noticed all the men unconsciously had moved in front of their respective wives and so they should I thought.
“Stop,” said Edward, Faine and Jordan at the same time. I stared at them in wonder, it’s like they could read my mind. I had planned to go and give Demitri a piece of my mind.
“What?” I said, “he deserves it. Couldn’t just let me die could you, no, you had to be bloody selfish and taste me, huh does your girlfriend know you like tasting young girls? I leered at him, you’re a selfish cunt and I will never forgive you for doing this to me no matter how much you beg.” I shrieked at him and with that, I lurched out the door when I saw a gap between bodies. I felt arms grabbing me but I pushed them off me like I was fighting my way through cobwebs. I heard Faine say “let her go, but follow her. Demitri will find her anyway.”
Oh, goodie I thought I couldn’t even hide from that freak. What fun. In life or even death, just not gonna cut me a break is it. Tyrant mother followed swiftly by tyrant family FUN! Not. I was surprised to find myself passing a signpost that said Dublin 40 miles. Wow, how had I got here so fast? I knew exactly where I was going. I put the spare key under the mat into the front door lock and walked in silently. There was my mother, sitting on her fat arse, rollers in the hair, dressing gown opened untidily legs spread out on the table, box of milk tray chocolates on the arm of the sofa and a bottle of wine opened on the table with a half glass poured. Oh, my mother knew how to look after herself all right, it was me she couldn’t be bothered with. She bolted upright when she saw me lounging up against the doorjamb.
“Lottie, where the hell have you been? You little tart I been looking all over for ya and the guards have too. That fucking doctor’s looking for me to pay for your dam abortion, well you can fuck off and get a job and pay for that yourself. Little bitch runnin off like that. Who the hell do you think you are? Have ye aborted that gangrenous thing growing in your belly yet?” In less than a heartbeat I had her pushed up against the wall with my fingers around her throat, my face up close to hers and in a rage I screeched at her
“Don’t you ever talk about Ruby like that again you suffering bitch. How dare you. You’re a spiteful bitch, but your time has come, I’m gonna kill you ma, shoulda done it years ago but I couldn’t. It was then that she spotted my red eyes and screeched at me in a strangled way to let her go this minute and to get away from her.
“You doing fecking drugs now are ya Lottie” she taunted at me, “I knew no good would come from you, even your da wouldn’t stay around long enough to get a look at ya, ya little whore! Flogging your wares, the first chance ya got. And him fucking off on ya when you were pregnant. Slut!” it’s the last word she ever spoke cause I grabbed her head and I slammed her off the ground, “There now ma how does it feel to be dropped on your head. You’ll never again talk like that to me, I fuckin hate ya Ma, you’re gonna go to hell now. I can’t go to hell for your murder cause I’m dead already or haven’t ya noticed. I jumped on her body then enjoying the grunts and moans, she was making as I broke all her bones. This is what happens when you get dropped ma and I kicked her over “oooops I’m gonna kill you ma, naughty Lottie” I said and giggled as I broke her neck. The look of horror etched on her face was a funny. I felt absolutely nothing, not even relief. I buried her carcass in the river and hoped she rots in hell for all the abuse she did to me. Dropping me as a baby was only the start of it. She had never loved me and made dam sure, I knew it. If anything, it was she who held me back. Getting pregnant was the smartest thing I ever did. I realised I was thirsty. I found a scent I liked and followed it.
“Well whaddia know? Daniel Moloney, what are the chances that you would be my chardonnay?” I said flirtily to him and I smiled at him looking him up and down appraisingly. Shocked at my own bravery. When I human I was too tongue-tied to even look at him never mind admire him and talk to him. I was sitting on his bedroom windowsill. He gawped at me doing a double take.
“Oh my god, Lottie? Is that you? I heard you were pregnant by Johnny Delaney.”
“Nah that was just a rumour, I wouldn’t let that whoor near me with a fifty foot pole.”
“I never noticed before just how pretty your are Lottie” he said licking his lips as he came over to me and said “May I” as he leaned into kiss me hard on the lips. So I let him and I kissed him back just as hard but maybe harder cause he said “OW Lottie you’re hard.”
“Hmm what do you mean?” I asked him innocently. “Well you feel so cold and your body is hard like a rock.” he replied.
“A pity” I replied. “still you want to come for a walk with me and I’ll make something else hard?” I smiled suggestively at him. He took the bait. I jumped out of the window landing softly on the balls of my feet. He followed me the tool, and fell and broke his ankle… He started to scream in agony, he had broken it in quite a few places. “Not to worry Daniel, lottie’ll make you forget all about your ankle” I said smiling suggestively at him again. He looked at me and winced in pain and tried to be a hero and ignore it. I threw him up on my back and took off running the smell of his blood so near to me was nearly my undoing. It smelt so delicious. I knew I had to take him out far enough so his screams wouldn’t bring anyone running cause I wanted to enjoy my glass of fine wine slowly. I stopped and looked at him sat on a rock rubbing his poor broken foot twisted at a weird angle. He looked up at me kinda spooked now when he spotted my red eyes.
“Lottie how did you manage to run with me on your back like that and run so far away that’s not physically possible. What we doing out here so far away?” I looked at him and licked my lips and tilted his head while I muttered “Ssssh” to him. I kissed him then good and passionately and I licked his jaw and moved down to his neck and I couldn’t wait anymore so I sank my teeth into his jugular and ignored his screams of rage as he pointlessly tried to fight me off. I drank slowly enjoying the feeling of his blood filling my mouth and sloshing back my throat. The aroma filling my nostrils as I gloried in his blood. This was such a wonderful way to make a body hard…..I laughed to myself. Hard as a rock like me, but dead as a doornail ………when I had drained the last drop from his body I kissed him on the lips, even though they were wide open like his eyes in a silent scream that had died on his lips as his body’s life giving fluids drained into mine. I dug a quick hole and buried him inside. “Bye bye stupid little Danny, ignore me would ya that’ll teach you.” I sneered at him “May you rest in pieces” ha! I laughed and ran off until I came to a pool of water. I stuck my finger into the water to see if it was really disgusting like at the coven’s house or did they put something into the water. I pulled out my finger out of the water and stuck it into my mouth but nope it was still disgusting. I looked around myself and realised I was in a huge field and I began to spin around feeling free for the first time in my life ever. I stopped spinning and noticed my reflection in the pool, red eyes, wild hair, blood stuck to the side of my mouth so I crooked out my tongue to lick the remaining bit of Daniel’s blood on my face savouring the taste and sorry now that it was gone. My belly was fully of blood now. At least this blood would stay there not like my Ruby’s blood. That was gone and with a howl of pain, I dropped to my knees and screamed in agony. I couldn’t cry but I could scream. When I felt empty and lost, I felt a strange calmness settle over me as if I was being bewitched or something and then suddenly, I blacked out.