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Since we got back from New York myself and Valentina haven’t really spoken about our future together, i know there will be a future between us but how do you find the words to explain how you feel? iam not well practiced at these things, its always been me on my own, when i had these feelings for Jane well i don’t even know what those feelings were, it isn’t the same with valentina i feel so much more, i panic if i don’t see her for a few hours, i get grumpy apparently, then when I’m with her i feel complete some how, i don’t need to hold her hand i would like to hold her hand very much so but i don’t feel the need to show how committed we are by showing our feelings in public, when we are talking i have to really concentrate because my eyes wonder to her lips, her soft warm lips. The first time we kissed it felt like fireworks going off in my head. The need to hold her was so overpowering and i have that need every time i see her, but i don’t want to make a public display of what we are or are going to be. I hope our relationship will be magical, so here is my problem you see how do i tell her that she… that i... that we....... maybe the best words are plain and simple, i love her, is it too early to say that i love her? Does she love me? she kissed me first, Hazel thinks there is something between us, if i wait too long to tell her this she may feel rejected, but if i hurry and tell her that she is my everything that my world would be black, there would be no reason for my existence without her and there wouldn’t be, would she run away if she knew how deep I’m in? the rest of the boys find it hilarious Felix has Katy and Katy knew they would be together she is the strong willed in that relationship what she says go, then we have alec and Faine they both just became 1 two lost souls bought together by grief and thanks to Faine and alec their love for each other, and dislike for a certain person for different and also the same reasons, they saved us all from slavery. Then we have Josh and Jordan i think its been harder on josh he had to pretend to be normal to bring ‘charms’ back for Aro, he never thought he would fall in love with one of Aro’s charms and that pretty much tore him apart, the fact that he had to choose to turn his love and spend eternity with her, yes that sounds great but what if the person you love isn’t who you think they are, well Jordan knew, she is a smart girl and very talented, so their love for each other was already proven. then we have Chelsea and Afton. Afton brought Chelsea back to the palace he saved her from what she was and created a perfect world for her she gets everything she wants and Afton doesn’t mind, he loves her he wants to keep her like a princess and that she is sometimes, watching her having a hissy fit is the most funniest thing i have ever seen, so back to myself and Valentina, i stole her away from Jane because i was angry with her, i could have saved her life, let her go, but the monster in me took over, her scent was too much to resist, then she also begged for death and that’s what i should have given her death, but i was too selfish. So how can i prove to her how much i care when really i was selfish and couldn’t let her go fully, how is that fair? maybe she thinks that too.
All these worries i had have been put out of my mind journal, i bring you great news i couldn’t continue to write i needed some time to consider what was right and what was wrong and as luck has it i didn’t have to decide, but first i need to tell you something the Cullens are coming here to our new home i don’t know how many if its all off them and i felt fearful of the fact that they will be here i want to take valentina away but i cant keep running Malachi would tell her to leave if he saw something bad happen he wouldn’t allow Valentina to be hurt again. i guess Alec also shared the same fear as me as he came to talk to me after Valentina had left me. I was a little rude to her before Alec came in to see me i had a little rant about a lot of things stupid things that she didn’t need to hear about, like what a monster I’m, and how could the Cullens forgive me for trying to harm their family, not once but twice, Valentina tried to assure me that i was good and none of what i have done in my past was my fault and that frustrated me. She had to understand it was me that made those choices, i loved keeping the law and it was my job too, but when you look at it from her pov i was pressured into it and made to believe that what i was doing was right but it wasn’t it was about power and Aro needed to be more powerful more then any one else that was his downfall. All the people i have killed to feed my thirst, that was me, so yes Valentina left me to it. Malachi probably told her to just leave me be, young Alec came in just after and we had a talk about things and my head was still full of regret i should never have been nasty to her, they say you take it out on the ones you love what was that name Chelsea once called me hmm jerk yes that was it she called me a complete jerk, and i found it funny because i thought she had made the name up, i was being a jerk to Valentina and she didn’t need that from me.
Alec and i spoke for a while about moving away from the palace, how we are free and we make the choices that will re write the wrongs we have done, i’ve got a lot of making up to do then, we briefly spoke about Valentina too, the guys seem to think she is a little odd but Alec says he knows how it feels to be the outsider, he has promised to try and include her, Alec tells me Faine wants to organise a hen party for Jordan she is going to ask Valentina if she wants to help, I’m sure she will and with Malachi on her side Jordan will get what she wants. We also talked about the Cullens and how awkward its going to be I’m hoping Carlisle will be among them, he understands, he lived with us he knew what Aro and Caius and Marcus where like, mainly the two that were the ones who fought for power, Alec just said we have to wait and see but we shouldn’t feel threatened, their family were never hungry for revenge. They say time heals old wounds, but for vampires that is something we cannot do, its always stuck there in the back of your mind, a constant reminder of what happened or what you did. Alec could see he wasn’t getting anywhere with me so he left me be and i was alone and i didn’t want to be for the first time in my existence i wanted company.
I followed Valentina’s scent, she hadn’t left the house she was in the front room. I watched her for a few minutes as she laid on the sofa she looked like she was sleeping
" I am sleeping" she spoke softly, i waited to see if it was me she was talking to when she didn’t open her eyes, i realised it was Malachi she was talking to
" you do know vampires don’t sleep" i asked her, she shot up and i smiled at her longing to be in her arms she looked embarrassed, she held out her hand and pulled me on to the sofa we were sat so close i stopped breathing i apologised for my behaviour. we spoke lightly about what i had said to her before and i stroked her cheek were I knew she would have a tear if she could cry, we spoke about the Cullens and how difficult it was going to be. Valentina refused to believe that anything bad was going happen, she dramatically changed the subject she bought up our future in conversation and i knew it was now that I had to ask her she told me she loved, me, she loves me the monster, me, i couldn’t quite believe it Malachi started to talk to her and she revealed that Malachi had said we were soul mates i couldn’t have been more happier in that moment everything clicked into place we did belong together forever and we will till the end of time Valentina laid down and i told her to sleep and to have beautiful dreams Chelsea came in at the right moment she didn’t understand bless her and i couldn’t control my laughter Valentina told Chelsea she could sleep and that made laugh even more we spent the rest of the day like that pretending to sleep.
Since we got back from New York myself and Valentina haven’t really spoken about our future together, i know there will be a future between us but how do you find the words to explain how you feel? iam not well practiced at these things, its always been me on my own, when i had these feelings for Jane well i don’t even know what those feelings were, it isn’t the same with valentina i feel so much more, i panic if i don’t see her for a few hours, i get grumpy apparently, then when I’m with her i feel complete some how, i don’t need to hold her hand i would like to hold her hand very much so but i don’t feel the need to show how committed we are by showing our feelings in public, when we are talking i have to really concentrate because my eyes wonder to her lips, her soft warm lips. The first time we kissed it felt like fireworks going off in my head. The need to hold her was so overpowering and i have that need every time i see her, but i don’t want to make a public display of what we are or are going to be. I hope our relationship will be magical, so here is my problem you see how do i tell her that she… that i... that we....... maybe the best words are plain and simple, i love her, is it too early to say that i love her? Does she love me? she kissed me first, Hazel thinks there is something between us, if i wait too long to tell her this she may feel rejected, but if i hurry and tell her that she is my everything that my world would be black, there would be no reason for my existence without her and there wouldn’t be, would she run away if she knew how deep I’m in? the rest of the boys find it hilarious Felix has Katy and Katy knew they would be together she is the strong willed in that relationship what she says go, then we have alec and Faine they both just became 1 two lost souls bought together by grief and thanks to Faine and alec their love for each other, and dislike for a certain person for different and also the same reasons, they saved us all from slavery. Then we have Josh and Jordan i think its been harder on josh he had to pretend to be normal to bring ‘charms’ back for Aro, he never thought he would fall in love with one of Aro’s charms and that pretty much tore him apart, the fact that he had to choose to turn his love and spend eternity with her, yes that sounds great but what if the person you love isn’t who you think they are, well Jordan knew, she is a smart girl and very talented, so their love for each other was already proven. then we have Chelsea and Afton. Afton brought Chelsea back to the palace he saved her from what she was and created a perfect world for her she gets everything she wants and Afton doesn’t mind, he loves her he wants to keep her like a princess and that she is sometimes, watching her having a hissy fit is the most funniest thing i have ever seen, so back to myself and Valentina, i stole her away from Jane because i was angry with her, i could have saved her life, let her go, but the monster in me took over, her scent was too much to resist, then she also begged for death and that’s what i should have given her death, but i was too selfish. So how can i prove to her how much i care when really i was selfish and couldn’t let her go fully, how is that fair? maybe she thinks that too.
All these worries i had have been put out of my mind journal, i bring you great news i couldn’t continue to write i needed some time to consider what was right and what was wrong and as luck has it i didn’t have to decide, but first i need to tell you something the Cullens are coming here to our new home i don’t know how many if its all off them and i felt fearful of the fact that they will be here i want to take valentina away but i cant keep running Malachi would tell her to leave if he saw something bad happen he wouldn’t allow Valentina to be hurt again. i guess Alec also shared the same fear as me as he came to talk to me after Valentina had left me. I was a little rude to her before Alec came in to see me i had a little rant about a lot of things stupid things that she didn’t need to hear about, like what a monster I’m, and how could the Cullens forgive me for trying to harm their family, not once but twice, Valentina tried to assure me that i was good and none of what i have done in my past was my fault and that frustrated me. She had to understand it was me that made those choices, i loved keeping the law and it was my job too, but when you look at it from her pov i was pressured into it and made to believe that what i was doing was right but it wasn’t it was about power and Aro needed to be more powerful more then any one else that was his downfall. All the people i have killed to feed my thirst, that was me, so yes Valentina left me to it. Malachi probably told her to just leave me be, young Alec came in just after and we had a talk about things and my head was still full of regret i should never have been nasty to her, they say you take it out on the ones you love what was that name Chelsea once called me hmm jerk yes that was it she called me a complete jerk, and i found it funny because i thought she had made the name up, i was being a jerk to Valentina and she didn’t need that from me.
Alec and i spoke for a while about moving away from the palace, how we are free and we make the choices that will re write the wrongs we have done, i’ve got a lot of making up to do then, we briefly spoke about Valentina too, the guys seem to think she is a little odd but Alec says he knows how it feels to be the outsider, he has promised to try and include her, Alec tells me Faine wants to organise a hen party for Jordan she is going to ask Valentina if she wants to help, I’m sure she will and with Malachi on her side Jordan will get what she wants. We also talked about the Cullens and how awkward its going to be I’m hoping Carlisle will be among them, he understands, he lived with us he knew what Aro and Caius and Marcus where like, mainly the two that were the ones who fought for power, Alec just said we have to wait and see but we shouldn’t feel threatened, their family were never hungry for revenge. They say time heals old wounds, but for vampires that is something we cannot do, its always stuck there in the back of your mind, a constant reminder of what happened or what you did. Alec could see he wasn’t getting anywhere with me so he left me be and i was alone and i didn’t want to be for the first time in my existence i wanted company.
I followed Valentina’s scent, she hadn’t left the house she was in the front room. I watched her for a few minutes as she laid on the sofa she looked like she was sleeping
" I am sleeping" she spoke softly, i waited to see if it was me she was talking to when she didn’t open her eyes, i realised it was Malachi she was talking to
" you do know vampires don’t sleep" i asked her, she shot up and i smiled at her longing to be in her arms she looked embarrassed, she held out her hand and pulled me on to the sofa we were sat so close i stopped breathing i apologised for my behaviour. we spoke lightly about what i had said to her before and i stroked her cheek were I knew she would have a tear if she could cry, we spoke about the Cullens and how difficult it was going to be. Valentina refused to believe that anything bad was going happen, she dramatically changed the subject she bought up our future in conversation and i knew it was now that I had to ask her she told me she loved, me, she loves me the monster, me, i couldn’t quite believe it Malachi started to talk to her and she revealed that Malachi had said we were soul mates i couldn’t have been more happier in that moment everything clicked into place we did belong together forever and we will till the end of time Valentina laid down and i told her to sleep and to have beautiful dreams Chelsea came in at the right moment she didn’t understand bless her and i couldn’t control my laughter Valentina told Chelsea she could sleep and that made laugh even more we spent the rest of the day like that pretending to sleep.
