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Dear Diary,
I'm feeling really confused at the moment. Since I first admitted to myself that I have feelings for Sarah, but also Felix, it's really been getting me down alot lately. Esepecially when I'm on my own or worse when I'm with Sarah and Felix together. Could I be gay? or bi? or am I screwed up? I've never even considered kissing anyone until Sarah came to live here.
She's funny and affectionate and is sympathetic to me and acts like she cares and trusts me. Felix is treating me like a kid brother or friend since Sarah came along and we've grown very close in our mutual care for protecting Sarah from harm from anyone.
But everytime I see Felix, if I were human I know my heart would be pounding in excitement. I get a special feeling deep inside me that I can't explain and if our arms or hands or legs accidentally rub off each other I feel a zing of electricity pass through me and it makes me want to run to him and hug him to me tightly and to feel his soft lips kissing mine. But I also get similar feelings when I'm near Sarah too. That same spark of electricity sparks between us.
I am so stressed about this confusing battle going on in my head. Being gay is practically unheard of in the vampire culture. It happens of course but it's frowned upon. I'm so stressed because I've no-one I feel I can go and talk to about my screwed up feelings. If I were human I could talk and listen to friends and see what they have to say about it. But who would understand me? Felix, not a hope and Sarah, Um I can't tell her I'm crushing on her, besides Marcus is going to marry her and Felix fancies her and NOT ME. Why would he fancy me? HE'S NOT GAY!
Jane is getting suspicious too, she knows that something is upsetting me as does Sarah and they are both trying to get me to open up and talk to them about it but I'm afraid if either of them find out that will be disgusted in me.
I have to hide these feelings I have for Felix there is no choice I cannot live my solitude as a gay man and that's it. Nobody must find out.
So diary you can see my dilemma
Talk soon
Alec.
I'm feeling really confused at the moment. Since I first admitted to myself that I have feelings for Sarah, but also Felix, it's really been getting me down alot lately. Esepecially when I'm on my own or worse when I'm with Sarah and Felix together. Could I be gay? or bi? or am I screwed up? I've never even considered kissing anyone until Sarah came to live here.
She's funny and affectionate and is sympathetic to me and acts like she cares and trusts me. Felix is treating me like a kid brother or friend since Sarah came along and we've grown very close in our mutual care for protecting Sarah from harm from anyone.
But everytime I see Felix, if I were human I know my heart would be pounding in excitement. I get a special feeling deep inside me that I can't explain and if our arms or hands or legs accidentally rub off each other I feel a zing of electricity pass through me and it makes me want to run to him and hug him to me tightly and to feel his soft lips kissing mine. But I also get similar feelings when I'm near Sarah too. That same spark of electricity sparks between us.
I am so stressed about this confusing battle going on in my head. Being gay is practically unheard of in the vampire culture. It happens of course but it's frowned upon. I'm so stressed because I've no-one I feel I can go and talk to about my screwed up feelings. If I were human I could talk and listen to friends and see what they have to say about it. But who would understand me? Felix, not a hope and Sarah, Um I can't tell her I'm crushing on her, besides Marcus is going to marry her and Felix fancies her and NOT ME. Why would he fancy me? HE'S NOT GAY!
Jane is getting suspicious too, she knows that something is upsetting me as does Sarah and they are both trying to get me to open up and talk to them about it but I'm afraid if either of them find out that will be disgusted in me.
I have to hide these feelings I have for Felix there is no choice I cannot live my solitude as a gay man and that's it. Nobody must find out.
So diary you can see my dilemma
Talk soon
Alec.
