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Dear diary
Hay I want you to know I am going to be ok now, Demitri is truly amazing, I’m so blessed to have met him, he makes me feel complete and I’m going to try to talk to him about how I feel i don’t care if he rejects me, all the things he has done for me. I will explain Demitri left me for a few hours in his room, I wasn’t really talking to him lost in my own pain, the image of Caius in my head, i tried to push it away, i tried to cry to let all the fear and hurt out, but nothing, it was all stored up and i ended up feeling angry when i wasn’t angry, i needed to cry and let it all out but that just wasn’t possible. Malachi tells me I’m still too human that when i get older that i will become more like a vampire like Demitri is, it made me chuckle a little because I’m going to stay the same age forever now but he was right i would age and become stronger and tougher and one day i wont feel anything. No i don’t believe that Demitri is old and he has days where i can see he has some emotion, i see it especially when he is with Alec, its like he is Alec's big brother, he will protect him and he cares and you see that and with Felix its like there the two older brothers, they joke around a lot more then he does with Alec, not that they don’t have fun but he is more cautious with Alec because he is younger so he has emotions.
I have never seen so much emotion from him until that Day when he found Caius, and me pinned to the wall, he looked so hurt, but then realisation hit him and anger took over and well the demon inside him took over and i didn’t recognise him but in that instant Demitri picked me up and held on to me like i was some precious flower, he didn’t want to squeeze too tight afraid that the flower may crumple in his arms, but the need to hold that flower close enough was vital, i have skipped a little off what happened and i will tell You about it. I need to explain we are no longer at the palace and we will not be returning there for a long time. Demitri says he will come back and visit Marcus and his wife but says i don’t have to if i don’t want to, for now I don’t but maybe in time, Marcus seemed nice enough.
We are back In New York with Hazel she has helped me so much, Demitri came back from his walk and took one look at me shook his head and put his fist into the wall.
"Dam him dam him" Demitri repeated over and over, i was shaking i knew he wouldn’t hurt me but i just didn’t expect that reaction from him, he had been so careful around me the out burst took me by surprise, Malachi hadn’t returned since what happened he felt terrible too. Demitri started to pack things he ripped off all the maps on the walls, put what he could in the suitcase, he then stopped and threw the suitcase into the wall he started to talk in a different language, i didn’t know what he was saying, he seemed really pissed he stopped breaking things and stood in front of me with his hands in fists, he then dropped to the floor and stroked my cheek very softly but even Demitri's touch gave me shivers,
"I’m sorry about my behaviour, its totally irresponsible of me i hope i didn’t scare you." He said as he sat beside me. We sat like this for a while in silence both staring at walls then Demitri jumped up and ran it was like a blur one minute he was there next he was gone, he wasn’t gone long when he came back he held his hand out for me i just stared at him not sure of myself, he picked me up like i was that precious flower again, he was very gentle, i didn’t ask where we were going, i buried myself in his arms as he ran, not through fear of being dropped, I wanted to be there i felt safe there. We arrived at his home in New York, Hazel had the door open before Demitri even knocked.
“Ohh my, is she ok?” Hazel asked.
"No she isn’t that’s why I bought her here." Demitri said he sounded so worried.
"Demitri You weren’t suppose to remember haven’t we always agreed this?"
"Yes but it doesn’t matter now we will never be going back you will never be found out because he no longer lives."
"The king is dead?" Hazel asked sounding shocked.
"Kings" Demitri corrected.
"All three, how?”
"No Marcus is still alive."
"Can he be trusted?"
"Yes i think so but we are not going back and nearly everyone has left."
"I take it Jane has been removed to?"
"Kind off i will explain but please you have to help her."
Demitri placed me down in the room he said i could have last time we were here They left me and i curled into a ball and listened to their conversation.
"Jane has been turned into another person she still exists but her mind doesn’t" Demitri explained. I didn’t hear Hazel response.
"What happened to Valentina? Where is Malachi? Why isn’t he with her?"
I felt awful I knew he had gone he promised he would never leave but Hazel confirmed it.
"I....I...don’t know Hazel i don’t know where he has gone and now she is just a shell she wont talk she just stares and shakes i try to comfort her but she is so fragile. Caius did this he..........." Demitri stopped I heard things being smashed. I wanted to get up and see what was going on but i felt so weak.
"Talk to me Demitri please?" Hazel asked sympathetically, i thought she might be scared of Demitri when the demon took over but she didn’t sound scared.
"He had hold of her he was going to... He... Aro had been turned to dust and I realised She was gone I knew he wanted her, i should never have left her on her own i should have protected her."
"What Happened?"
"When I realised they where both missing i followed his scent, hers was mixed in it too, he had given Valentina her own room, i kicked the door down he was there he had her pinned to the wall, she wasn’t moving, at first I thought that’s what she wanted then I saw the fear in her eyes, she looked so scared, he was kissing her all over and she was just shaking, he wouldn’t let go of her, i ripped him off her and Felix and Alec held him in place while I made sure she was ok and she has been like this since she hasn’t spoken to Malachi since either I didn’t know what to do with her she is so human and your the only person who I knew could understand or even help."
"I think I can help her Demitri, as for Malachi he isn’t here with her." Hazel replied.
"Why would he leave?" Demitri asked Hazel, he sounded so worried.
"Ok Demitri you need to go feed if I’m to help here, Mmmm ok your not going to have enough time to get back before sunlight, ok stay here with Valentina and i will be back with supplies soon." I heard the door close and Demitri came into the room, he slowly sat on the bed and pulled me in to him he locked his iron grip around me until Hazel came back, I didn’t even hear the door open Demitri shifted himself from under me i looked up to him in my confused state it was strange i cant sleep but that’s how it felt like i was a sleep but with my eyes open and aware of everything,
Hazel opened the door as Demitri got off the bed, he was so gentle like he didn’t want to wake me but he wouldn’t have woken me if i could sleep his movements were that soft.
"I have what you need." Hazel whispered “Thank you."
Demitri and Hazel left the room they didn’t talk any more and i heard the buzzing noise off the microwave i could smell the blood but it didn’t make me thirsty it repulsed me i was going to die if i didn’t drink I knew this but still the thought of it made me feel ill so for now i will starve.
Demitri and Hazel both returned they sat on either side off the bed like parents did when you were upset or ill. Demitri looked better his eyes glistening red this didn’t scare me i preferred the red to the black.
"Valentina I’m going to help you ok." Hazel said as she rubbed my arm. she looked up at Demitri.
"Can you handle this? if not leave."
I had no idea what she was going to do but i knew she would help me.
Demitri did not leave so i take it he could handle it.
"Ok close your eyes for me sweetheart i know this is going to be painful for you but I think it will help."
I closed my eyes I felt my body shake my face was wet and my eyes hurt, I was crying and i couldn’t stop these where real tears, human tears, my body vibrated in Hazel's arms she held me like a mother held her daughter, she stroked my hair and told me it was ok that everything was ok.
My body ached from all the emotion it was what I needed I needed to release these tears, Demitri stood by the door holding on to it until it got too much for him to watch i would understand if he couldn’t stand it, it must have been hard for him to see me this way he blamed himself for leaving me and then my scent probably made him thirsty. i closed my eyes and i slowly drifted off to sleep.
When I awoke, I was on my own I was still human my body ached as if i had been in a fight.
"I’m sorry."
I screamed out, he scared the hell out of me. Hazel ran into my room and then held her heart and breathed.
"Ahhh ok i understand i will give you two some privacy." Hazel said “Wait Is Demitri here?" I asked before she closed the door.
"He has popped out he wont be long when you’re done talking with Malachi come and find me." She closed the door.
"Where have you been?" I asked concerned.
"I had to go away to do some thinking."
"Right I see." I said not understanding Malachi never left to do some thinking.
"I couldn’t help you I let you down."
"Is that why you left?"
"Yes I needed to think things over I’m suppose to protect you and i couldn’t, I couldn’t move vVlentina he had us under a spell."
"Is that why I couldn’t move too?"
"Yes, He knew you could attack him and he knew you would fight him off but i never saw it coming i should have been more alert, Demitri saw it why couldn’t i?"
"This isn’t your fault, he had you fooled and Demitri saved me."
"I am thankful he did, how are you feeling? I see Hazel has worked her magic on you your human again and longer this time.”
"Longer?"
"Yes 42 hours."
I had been human for 42 hours wow and i had cried and slept i needed it, i needed to let go of this hurt inside and i was happy to have Malachi back with me I was ready to become myself the real person i was, a vampire.
I went to find Hazel she was sat on the sofa with some music on low.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"A lot better thank you."
"Do you want to talk to me about what happened?"
I shook my head to say no.
"Ok sure thing and Malachi your back"
"Yes I’m and for good now I will never leave again."
"Valentina your very lucky you have two very special men looking after you." Hazel said and i felt the warmth in my checks spread it was an unusual feeling to me.
I cleared my throat.
"I’m ready to be turned back now please." I asked;
"Of course 42 hours my spells are getting better" She smiled.
"Thank you for helping me."
"Your very welcome can I have a human hug before I turn you back?"
We both hugged each other tightly like we were saying goodbye.
"Ok. Close your eyes."
I did as she asked and she stroked my arm i felt the my body tingle and then slowly my body felt colder and i felt strong the burning returned in my throat but i pushed away that pain.
"You can open your eyes now." Hazel spoke so softly.
When I did it was like being born again everything was more bright and i could hear so much more, i had missed this ability, I ran around the room screaming.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" I stopped and Hazel just laughed at me.
"Any one else would be demanding for blood but not you." I sat next to hazel again.
"Thank you Hazel if it wasn’t for you i think Demitri and i would have never left that place."
"You would have but maybe not as quick as you have."
"I’m thankful too." Malachi said
Hazel held her hands out like she was hugging someone was it Malachi? yes, it must have been I wish i could see him instead of have him talking to me in my mind.
Hazel and I talked for a long time i was getting worried about Demitri but Hazel kept me preoccupied and Malachi told me he was watching Demitri and that he was fine. a few hours later Malachi whispered to me.
"Your knight is home."
Hazel smiled and we both stood ready for him to appear, he opened and closed the door quietly we were both very silent, he walked silently i could hear him tiptoe just in case I was still sleeping, when he reached the living room he stopped and stared surprised to see me up i suppose, then he was in front of me his eyes excited to see me, i saw Hazel move out of the room, Demitri wasn’t breathing he never did when he got so close which wasn’t often, there was a song playing softly in the background the words rang in my mind.
"If only we could turn the hands of time, if i could take you back would you still be mine, cos i tried but i had to draw the line, and still this question keeps on spinning in my mind, what if i had never let you go, would you be the man i use to know, what if i had never walked away cos I still love you more then words can say, if i stayed if you tried, if we could only turn back time, but i guess we'll never know" Those lyrics made my mind up, i closed my eyes moved even closer, i stopped breathing, i kissed his lips waiting for a response, i waited for a second to see if he would respond he didn’t, i opened my eyes and pulled away that was fine if he didn’t feel that way i looked at him he had his eyes closed then he opened them and pulled me in and we kissed passionately for a long time not one of us wanted to let go.
Hazel faked a cough and we pulled away from each other Demitri looked around to her with a cheeky grin.
"Has this got something to do with you?" He asked Hazel.
"No Demitri that’s all your own doing, i didn’t think it would be this easy for you to both admit how you feel about each other a little music and bam your kissing, perfect." Hazel chuckled.
I also laughed, Demitri didn’t understand but I did she knew how we both felt and we were both not quite brave enough to reveal it to each other we needed a little push. Well i need to go ,i am very thirsty and Demitri is heating up some blood for me until next time diary.
Love Valentina. xxx
Hay I want you to know I am going to be ok now, Demitri is truly amazing, I’m so blessed to have met him, he makes me feel complete and I’m going to try to talk to him about how I feel i don’t care if he rejects me, all the things he has done for me. I will explain Demitri left me for a few hours in his room, I wasn’t really talking to him lost in my own pain, the image of Caius in my head, i tried to push it away, i tried to cry to let all the fear and hurt out, but nothing, it was all stored up and i ended up feeling angry when i wasn’t angry, i needed to cry and let it all out but that just wasn’t possible. Malachi tells me I’m still too human that when i get older that i will become more like a vampire like Demitri is, it made me chuckle a little because I’m going to stay the same age forever now but he was right i would age and become stronger and tougher and one day i wont feel anything. No i don’t believe that Demitri is old and he has days where i can see he has some emotion, i see it especially when he is with Alec, its like he is Alec's big brother, he will protect him and he cares and you see that and with Felix its like there the two older brothers, they joke around a lot more then he does with Alec, not that they don’t have fun but he is more cautious with Alec because he is younger so he has emotions.
I have never seen so much emotion from him until that Day when he found Caius, and me pinned to the wall, he looked so hurt, but then realisation hit him and anger took over and well the demon inside him took over and i didn’t recognise him but in that instant Demitri picked me up and held on to me like i was some precious flower, he didn’t want to squeeze too tight afraid that the flower may crumple in his arms, but the need to hold that flower close enough was vital, i have skipped a little off what happened and i will tell You about it. I need to explain we are no longer at the palace and we will not be returning there for a long time. Demitri says he will come back and visit Marcus and his wife but says i don’t have to if i don’t want to, for now I don’t but maybe in time, Marcus seemed nice enough.
We are back In New York with Hazel she has helped me so much, Demitri came back from his walk and took one look at me shook his head and put his fist into the wall.
"Dam him dam him" Demitri repeated over and over, i was shaking i knew he wouldn’t hurt me but i just didn’t expect that reaction from him, he had been so careful around me the out burst took me by surprise, Malachi hadn’t returned since what happened he felt terrible too. Demitri started to pack things he ripped off all the maps on the walls, put what he could in the suitcase, he then stopped and threw the suitcase into the wall he started to talk in a different language, i didn’t know what he was saying, he seemed really pissed he stopped breaking things and stood in front of me with his hands in fists, he then dropped to the floor and stroked my cheek very softly but even Demitri's touch gave me shivers,
"I’m sorry about my behaviour, its totally irresponsible of me i hope i didn’t scare you." He said as he sat beside me. We sat like this for a while in silence both staring at walls then Demitri jumped up and ran it was like a blur one minute he was there next he was gone, he wasn’t gone long when he came back he held his hand out for me i just stared at him not sure of myself, he picked me up like i was that precious flower again, he was very gentle, i didn’t ask where we were going, i buried myself in his arms as he ran, not through fear of being dropped, I wanted to be there i felt safe there. We arrived at his home in New York, Hazel had the door open before Demitri even knocked.
“Ohh my, is she ok?” Hazel asked.
"No she isn’t that’s why I bought her here." Demitri said he sounded so worried.
"Demitri You weren’t suppose to remember haven’t we always agreed this?"
"Yes but it doesn’t matter now we will never be going back you will never be found out because he no longer lives."
"The king is dead?" Hazel asked sounding shocked.
"Kings" Demitri corrected.
"All three, how?”
"No Marcus is still alive."
"Can he be trusted?"
"Yes i think so but we are not going back and nearly everyone has left."
"I take it Jane has been removed to?"
"Kind off i will explain but please you have to help her."
Demitri placed me down in the room he said i could have last time we were here They left me and i curled into a ball and listened to their conversation.
"Jane has been turned into another person she still exists but her mind doesn’t" Demitri explained. I didn’t hear Hazel response.
"What happened to Valentina? Where is Malachi? Why isn’t he with her?"
I felt awful I knew he had gone he promised he would never leave but Hazel confirmed it.
"I....I...don’t know Hazel i don’t know where he has gone and now she is just a shell she wont talk she just stares and shakes i try to comfort her but she is so fragile. Caius did this he..........." Demitri stopped I heard things being smashed. I wanted to get up and see what was going on but i felt so weak.
"Talk to me Demitri please?" Hazel asked sympathetically, i thought she might be scared of Demitri when the demon took over but she didn’t sound scared.
"He had hold of her he was going to... He... Aro had been turned to dust and I realised She was gone I knew he wanted her, i should never have left her on her own i should have protected her."
"What Happened?"
"When I realised they where both missing i followed his scent, hers was mixed in it too, he had given Valentina her own room, i kicked the door down he was there he had her pinned to the wall, she wasn’t moving, at first I thought that’s what she wanted then I saw the fear in her eyes, she looked so scared, he was kissing her all over and she was just shaking, he wouldn’t let go of her, i ripped him off her and Felix and Alec held him in place while I made sure she was ok and she has been like this since she hasn’t spoken to Malachi since either I didn’t know what to do with her she is so human and your the only person who I knew could understand or even help."
"I think I can help her Demitri, as for Malachi he isn’t here with her." Hazel replied.
"Why would he leave?" Demitri asked Hazel, he sounded so worried.
"Ok Demitri you need to go feed if I’m to help here, Mmmm ok your not going to have enough time to get back before sunlight, ok stay here with Valentina and i will be back with supplies soon." I heard the door close and Demitri came into the room, he slowly sat on the bed and pulled me in to him he locked his iron grip around me until Hazel came back, I didn’t even hear the door open Demitri shifted himself from under me i looked up to him in my confused state it was strange i cant sleep but that’s how it felt like i was a sleep but with my eyes open and aware of everything,
Hazel opened the door as Demitri got off the bed, he was so gentle like he didn’t want to wake me but he wouldn’t have woken me if i could sleep his movements were that soft.
"I have what you need." Hazel whispered “Thank you."
Demitri and Hazel left the room they didn’t talk any more and i heard the buzzing noise off the microwave i could smell the blood but it didn’t make me thirsty it repulsed me i was going to die if i didn’t drink I knew this but still the thought of it made me feel ill so for now i will starve.
Demitri and Hazel both returned they sat on either side off the bed like parents did when you were upset or ill. Demitri looked better his eyes glistening red this didn’t scare me i preferred the red to the black.
"Valentina I’m going to help you ok." Hazel said as she rubbed my arm. she looked up at Demitri.
"Can you handle this? if not leave."
I had no idea what she was going to do but i knew she would help me.
Demitri did not leave so i take it he could handle it.
"Ok close your eyes for me sweetheart i know this is going to be painful for you but I think it will help."
I closed my eyes I felt my body shake my face was wet and my eyes hurt, I was crying and i couldn’t stop these where real tears, human tears, my body vibrated in Hazel's arms she held me like a mother held her daughter, she stroked my hair and told me it was ok that everything was ok.
My body ached from all the emotion it was what I needed I needed to release these tears, Demitri stood by the door holding on to it until it got too much for him to watch i would understand if he couldn’t stand it, it must have been hard for him to see me this way he blamed himself for leaving me and then my scent probably made him thirsty. i closed my eyes and i slowly drifted off to sleep.
When I awoke, I was on my own I was still human my body ached as if i had been in a fight.
"I’m sorry."
I screamed out, he scared the hell out of me. Hazel ran into my room and then held her heart and breathed.
"Ahhh ok i understand i will give you two some privacy." Hazel said “Wait Is Demitri here?" I asked before she closed the door.
"He has popped out he wont be long when you’re done talking with Malachi come and find me." She closed the door.
"Where have you been?" I asked concerned.
"I had to go away to do some thinking."
"Right I see." I said not understanding Malachi never left to do some thinking.
"I couldn’t help you I let you down."
"Is that why you left?"
"Yes I needed to think things over I’m suppose to protect you and i couldn’t, I couldn’t move vVlentina he had us under a spell."
"Is that why I couldn’t move too?"
"Yes, He knew you could attack him and he knew you would fight him off but i never saw it coming i should have been more alert, Demitri saw it why couldn’t i?"
"This isn’t your fault, he had you fooled and Demitri saved me."
"I am thankful he did, how are you feeling? I see Hazel has worked her magic on you your human again and longer this time.”
"Longer?"
"Yes 42 hours."
I had been human for 42 hours wow and i had cried and slept i needed it, i needed to let go of this hurt inside and i was happy to have Malachi back with me I was ready to become myself the real person i was, a vampire.
I went to find Hazel she was sat on the sofa with some music on low.
"How are you feeling?" She asked.
"A lot better thank you."
"Do you want to talk to me about what happened?"
I shook my head to say no.
"Ok sure thing and Malachi your back"
"Yes I’m and for good now I will never leave again."
"Valentina your very lucky you have two very special men looking after you." Hazel said and i felt the warmth in my checks spread it was an unusual feeling to me.
I cleared my throat.
"I’m ready to be turned back now please." I asked;
"Of course 42 hours my spells are getting better" She smiled.
"Thank you for helping me."
"Your very welcome can I have a human hug before I turn you back?"
We both hugged each other tightly like we were saying goodbye.
"Ok. Close your eyes."
I did as she asked and she stroked my arm i felt the my body tingle and then slowly my body felt colder and i felt strong the burning returned in my throat but i pushed away that pain.
"You can open your eyes now." Hazel spoke so softly.
When I did it was like being born again everything was more bright and i could hear so much more, i had missed this ability, I ran around the room screaming.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" I stopped and Hazel just laughed at me.
"Any one else would be demanding for blood but not you." I sat next to hazel again.
"Thank you Hazel if it wasn’t for you i think Demitri and i would have never left that place."
"You would have but maybe not as quick as you have."
"I’m thankful too." Malachi said
Hazel held her hands out like she was hugging someone was it Malachi? yes, it must have been I wish i could see him instead of have him talking to me in my mind.
Hazel and I talked for a long time i was getting worried about Demitri but Hazel kept me preoccupied and Malachi told me he was watching Demitri and that he was fine. a few hours later Malachi whispered to me.
"Your knight is home."
Hazel smiled and we both stood ready for him to appear, he opened and closed the door quietly we were both very silent, he walked silently i could hear him tiptoe just in case I was still sleeping, when he reached the living room he stopped and stared surprised to see me up i suppose, then he was in front of me his eyes excited to see me, i saw Hazel move out of the room, Demitri wasn’t breathing he never did when he got so close which wasn’t often, there was a song playing softly in the background the words rang in my mind.
"If only we could turn the hands of time, if i could take you back would you still be mine, cos i tried but i had to draw the line, and still this question keeps on spinning in my mind, what if i had never let you go, would you be the man i use to know, what if i had never walked away cos I still love you more then words can say, if i stayed if you tried, if we could only turn back time, but i guess we'll never know" Those lyrics made my mind up, i closed my eyes moved even closer, i stopped breathing, i kissed his lips waiting for a response, i waited for a second to see if he would respond he didn’t, i opened my eyes and pulled away that was fine if he didn’t feel that way i looked at him he had his eyes closed then he opened them and pulled me in and we kissed passionately for a long time not one of us wanted to let go.
Hazel faked a cough and we pulled away from each other Demitri looked around to her with a cheeky grin.
"Has this got something to do with you?" He asked Hazel.
"No Demitri that’s all your own doing, i didn’t think it would be this easy for you to both admit how you feel about each other a little music and bam your kissing, perfect." Hazel chuckled.
I also laughed, Demitri didn’t understand but I did she knew how we both felt and we were both not quite brave enough to reveal it to each other we needed a little push. Well i need to go ,i am very thirsty and Demitri is heating up some blood for me until next time diary.
Love Valentina. xxx
my girl you've outdone yourself 
