Home
BECAUSE OF YOU….
October 8th, 2010
Johanna has come back to haunt me.
Everything I do: I see her there.
Everywhere I go: She’s there.
Like a ghost in the back of my mind. I started thinking that it was Faine playing tricks on me, just like she is doing to Aro. And, well, if it was Faine, I gotta say that she’s doing a very good job of destroying me! I know it isn’t Faine though, because, whenever I got to touch the ghost Johanna she feels real and she doesn’t disappear like Faine will. My beautiful ghost doesn’t even talk to me, she just stands there teasing me and destroying me.
Maybe I should go feed? I’ll be back in 30 minutes..
No. It can’t be true! No. This can’t be happening to me! No. No. NO! NO! NO!
I am steaming with anger. And I have one more ‘every’ to add to the list.
Every person I go to kill: looks like Johanna.
I had my prey in my hands, her voice didn’t sound like Johanna’s, but I spin her around to face me and all of the sudden, her face is morphed to match that of my pretty Johanna’s! I bite into her to make the image go away. It doesn’t. I run away from her, damn I forgot to dispose of the body, and go to the other end of town to look for another snack. This girl is sitting on a bench smoking and looking oblivious to the night. Her face becomes that of Johanna’s, and her green eyes look directly at me. For some reason, this enrages me! To see this person smoking and poisoning Johanna’s body. I run up to her and tear her head off, not even bothering with sucking her blood. I set fire to her body and went looking for another kill. This girl was in the woods….The Woods…. I met Johanna in the woods…..
When I saw this next girl, she was taking off her clothes and walking into the stream, she turns around and beckons me to come to her. Her long blonde hair is just about touching the water now and her green eyes are glowing, I go to her, of course. I’ve been wishing to see Johanna for ever and this girls body exactly matches Johanna’s. I forget about my clothes and wade into the river so I can hold her. Her body starts glowing but I think it’s just a trick of the moon on her pale skin. She reaches up and kisses me, but I don’t feel it. Im in shock she is beautiful and every movement is fluid. One flows into the next and into the next. It’s like she is dancing. She takes a breath and goes underwater, lying on her back and looking at me. I think she is waiting for me but as I am about to go under with her, her skin starts glowing brighter and brighter! Until……..
Until…….she’s gone….My Johanna is once again gone.
This infuriated me and I once again went on my rampage through town, catching this girl and that girl. Only there faces looked like Johanna’s and none of them look even remotely close like that Johanna from the woods. All the sudden, a lyric hits me, “’You stay, Johanna, The way I dreamed you are. Oh look. Johanna, a star…A shooting star…..’” I sang as something snapped in me. I went on more of a rampage and burned every body that looked like Johanna, “’And though I’ll think of you, I guess, until the day I die. I think I miss you less and less, as everyday goes by….. Johanna. And you’d be beautiful and pale and look too much like her….If only Angels could…...prevail…we’d be the way we were…Johanna…..We’ve learned…..Johanna….to say…….Goodbye…’” I sang again.
At this point, I found myself hysterical and also in somebody’s arms. It was Caius, of course. He was trying to comfort me. By whispering words of peace and asking about her. He pushed me over the limit when he started whispering words of sorrow.
‘Sorrow?!?!? Who is this guy to feel sorrow for me??!?’ I pushed him away from me and ran. Just ran. I remembered my little girl, my little Catia. And how I swore that the world would bleed for her, the world will pay for taking away Johanna! A thought occurred to me: ‘I have to die for her. Hhmm- I haven’t thought of suicide since I was human. But, I can’t possibly die for Johanna until…Kali is dead.’ I smiled. ‘Yes. This is all Kali’s fault! All these people died because of her!’ I stopped running away from the palace and went back to my room. To write more:
It’s all because of her! But, which ‘her’ am I talking about now? Kali, my maker? Catia, my daughter? Natalia, my dead wife? Johanna, my…..my…..whatever I would call her? Or Jane, my friend with benefits?
Well, Because of Kali, my daughter is dead, im a vampire, the world is being destroyed, and im half insane!
Because of Catia, I was happy for a little while. And then I was destroyed after she made me so happy and was taken away from me. And the world is bleeding for her.
Because of Natalia, I didn’t want to get married and so I ran away. Then she gives me Catia so I feel some sense of connection!
Because of Johanna, I feel…something. No, ‘I feel’ period. I haven’t felt since her. I have a, a conscience! But on the down side of her, I also feel bad for taking a life and her memory is destroying me! Because of her…im helping to destroy the Volturri. And, in the process, destroying Jane’s soul.
Because of Janie, I- Im here. Here in Volterra. Here as a guard of the Volturri. Because of her, I am happy for little moments at a time. And I felt like I had a family that understood me.
Im done talking about this. As a matter of fact, I should be done with women! All they do is cause pain and destruction! Well, no, Jane and I have a date later.
It might be our last date, seeing as how im going to help turn Jane into Tristan’s ex-girlfriend, Amelia, in a few days. I feel so bad, and I am going to miss her.
I know who that blonde haired vampire is from the painting! I transformed into Master Aro (again, I have done so many times in the past four days) and looked for information about him. Apparently, that is Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen’s maker. Carlisle has gotten around! Haha! See, he spread his venom into all these people, well most of them. First he changed Edward, then he changed Esme, then Rosalie, then Emmett and then two other vampires joined the coven. What makes Carlisle different from other vampires is that he would never change someone unless they were dieing. And, all his vampires act more as a family rather than a coven. Edward became Carlisle’s adoptive son, Esme became Carlisle’s wife, Rosalie is the adoptive daughter, Emmett is the adoptive son, Alice is the other adoptive daughter and Jasper is the last adopted son. And to make the entire thing more complicated, their all married. What I mean is, Rosalie and Emmett are married and Alice and Jasper are married. Edward fell in love with Bella, the human, (So that’s why Felix said perhaps I should meet Edward since we both love humans!) and Bella became pregnant with Edward’s child…that confused me greatly. It isn’t exactly possible! And during the birth, Edward bit Bella and changed her into a vampire. And then there is the baby. A highbred! Half vampire and half human! Wow!
Carlisle has quite the collection of talents!
I must go, this is making me question who my family is and isn’t.
-Gabriel
October 8th, 2010
Johanna has come back to haunt me.
Everything I do: I see her there.
Everywhere I go: She’s there.
Like a ghost in the back of my mind. I started thinking that it was Faine playing tricks on me, just like she is doing to Aro. And, well, if it was Faine, I gotta say that she’s doing a very good job of destroying me! I know it isn’t Faine though, because, whenever I got to touch the ghost Johanna she feels real and she doesn’t disappear like Faine will. My beautiful ghost doesn’t even talk to me, she just stands there teasing me and destroying me.
Maybe I should go feed? I’ll be back in 30 minutes..
No. It can’t be true! No. This can’t be happening to me! No. No. NO! NO! NO!
I am steaming with anger. And I have one more ‘every’ to add to the list.
Every person I go to kill: looks like Johanna.
I had my prey in my hands, her voice didn’t sound like Johanna’s, but I spin her around to face me and all of the sudden, her face is morphed to match that of my pretty Johanna’s! I bite into her to make the image go away. It doesn’t. I run away from her, damn I forgot to dispose of the body, and go to the other end of town to look for another snack. This girl is sitting on a bench smoking and looking oblivious to the night. Her face becomes that of Johanna’s, and her green eyes look directly at me. For some reason, this enrages me! To see this person smoking and poisoning Johanna’s body. I run up to her and tear her head off, not even bothering with sucking her blood. I set fire to her body and went looking for another kill. This girl was in the woods….The Woods…. I met Johanna in the woods…..
When I saw this next girl, she was taking off her clothes and walking into the stream, she turns around and beckons me to come to her. Her long blonde hair is just about touching the water now and her green eyes are glowing, I go to her, of course. I’ve been wishing to see Johanna for ever and this girls body exactly matches Johanna’s. I forget about my clothes and wade into the river so I can hold her. Her body starts glowing but I think it’s just a trick of the moon on her pale skin. She reaches up and kisses me, but I don’t feel it. Im in shock she is beautiful and every movement is fluid. One flows into the next and into the next. It’s like she is dancing. She takes a breath and goes underwater, lying on her back and looking at me. I think she is waiting for me but as I am about to go under with her, her skin starts glowing brighter and brighter! Until……..
Until…….she’s gone….My Johanna is once again gone.
This infuriated me and I once again went on my rampage through town, catching this girl and that girl. Only there faces looked like Johanna’s and none of them look even remotely close like that Johanna from the woods. All the sudden, a lyric hits me, “’You stay, Johanna, The way I dreamed you are. Oh look. Johanna, a star…A shooting star…..’” I sang as something snapped in me. I went on more of a rampage and burned every body that looked like Johanna, “’And though I’ll think of you, I guess, until the day I die. I think I miss you less and less, as everyday goes by….. Johanna. And you’d be beautiful and pale and look too much like her….If only Angels could…...prevail…we’d be the way we were…Johanna…..We’ve learned…..Johanna….to say…….Goodbye…’” I sang again.
At this point, I found myself hysterical and also in somebody’s arms. It was Caius, of course. He was trying to comfort me. By whispering words of peace and asking about her. He pushed me over the limit when he started whispering words of sorrow.
‘Sorrow?!?!? Who is this guy to feel sorrow for me??!?’ I pushed him away from me and ran. Just ran. I remembered my little girl, my little Catia. And how I swore that the world would bleed for her, the world will pay for taking away Johanna! A thought occurred to me: ‘I have to die for her. Hhmm- I haven’t thought of suicide since I was human. But, I can’t possibly die for Johanna until…Kali is dead.’ I smiled. ‘Yes. This is all Kali’s fault! All these people died because of her!’ I stopped running away from the palace and went back to my room. To write more:
It’s all because of her! But, which ‘her’ am I talking about now? Kali, my maker? Catia, my daughter? Natalia, my dead wife? Johanna, my…..my…..whatever I would call her? Or Jane, my friend with benefits?
Well, Because of Kali, my daughter is dead, im a vampire, the world is being destroyed, and im half insane!
Because of Catia, I was happy for a little while. And then I was destroyed after she made me so happy and was taken away from me. And the world is bleeding for her.
Because of Natalia, I didn’t want to get married and so I ran away. Then she gives me Catia so I feel some sense of connection!
Because of Johanna, I feel…something. No, ‘I feel’ period. I haven’t felt since her. I have a, a conscience! But on the down side of her, I also feel bad for taking a life and her memory is destroying me! Because of her…im helping to destroy the Volturri. And, in the process, destroying Jane’s soul.
Because of Janie, I- Im here. Here in Volterra. Here as a guard of the Volturri. Because of her, I am happy for little moments at a time. And I felt like I had a family that understood me.
Im done talking about this. As a matter of fact, I should be done with women! All they do is cause pain and destruction! Well, no, Jane and I have a date later.
It might be our last date, seeing as how im going to help turn Jane into Tristan’s ex-girlfriend, Amelia, in a few days. I feel so bad, and I am going to miss her.
I know who that blonde haired vampire is from the painting! I transformed into Master Aro (again, I have done so many times in the past four days) and looked for information about him. Apparently, that is Carlisle Cullen, Edward Cullen’s maker. Carlisle has gotten around! Haha! See, he spread his venom into all these people, well most of them. First he changed Edward, then he changed Esme, then Rosalie, then Emmett and then two other vampires joined the coven. What makes Carlisle different from other vampires is that he would never change someone unless they were dieing. And, all his vampires act more as a family rather than a coven. Edward became Carlisle’s adoptive son, Esme became Carlisle’s wife, Rosalie is the adoptive daughter, Emmett is the adoptive son, Alice is the other adoptive daughter and Jasper is the last adopted son. And to make the entire thing more complicated, their all married. What I mean is, Rosalie and Emmett are married and Alice and Jasper are married. Edward fell in love with Bella, the human, (So that’s why Felix said perhaps I should meet Edward since we both love humans!) and Bella became pregnant with Edward’s child…that confused me greatly. It isn’t exactly possible! And during the birth, Edward bit Bella and changed her into a vampire. And then there is the baby. A highbred! Half vampire and half human! Wow!
Carlisle has quite the collection of talents!
I must go, this is making me question who my family is and isn’t.
-Gabriel
