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Dear diary
This week has been very odd indeed, I find myself wanting to find Alec and talk to him, to make him understand why I treat him like I do and to be honest I am not that hard on him,. It is just when he is being reckless, when he acts like a spoilt brat, that is when he really gets to me and I cannot help but scream at him. I was listing intently to Gabriel in his room, he some how shifted into a girl, I heard him cry, vampires do not cry. I thought he somehow had someone in there with him, but he was really crying. I opened the door, there stood a girl, a 17 year old, fairly pretty, it made me think if he could shape shift into someone then possibly he could share the same experience as they did, so I don’t know why, but I wanted to know the truth. What was my brother really feeling, because if there was a way to get him back from all this fighting and him burning me, well, I do not want to experience that again, I needed to know.
I demanded him to shift. He looked away and made up some ridicules lie "I am Tired" Bollix Vampires do not get tired. My patience was wearing thin.
"Shift" I demanded
he really knew how to push me he smiled. Then I asked him it flew out off my mouth before I could stop myself.
"Change into my brother?" He told me he could not that he needed to see him I dragged him to a portrait we had stood for two days solid for the dam thing back when Alec respected me.
Suddenly the girl that was in front of me formed into my brother. I gasped at how real he looked. Gabriel looked stunned, fear was present in his eyes
Gabriel started to shout " Bitch I hate her, must kill her while I can" I dropped to my knees it was true he really did want me dead, my brother wanted me gone out of is life, I was definitely not his sister anymore this shouldn’t have shocked me. I knew deep down I did but why did I try to fool myself in believing he would not hurt me he would, all the time he was telling the truth he would kill me he will be the one to cause my death. I had really let him down I had pushed him away this was not anyone else’s fault it was all mine “Alec Iam sorry." I whispered, "Forgive me." It was hopeless, he has made his mind up I am dead to him, I am very foolish, the man that was posing as my brother apologised to me and said he was sorry that my brother had left me, I realised I was showing to much emotion. I jumped up and the monster, the evil resurfaced, the real Jane returning, the evil bitch that did not care who she hurt that was really me. Sometimes I would slip and show some kindness and Alec bought that out in me, he wants me dead and I want him dead how strange to feel like that about my only brother. I left the shape shifter; I could not care what happens to him. I went straight to the one person I could trust, the one who would never hurt me. Tristan was on his Xbox playing some random shooting game as I entered, I sat in his chair and hid my face in it, and he turned the game off and called my name. I Ignored him and his voice became distant, I felt my body shaking when I snapped out off whatever trance I had put myself in.
" Jane what’s wrong?" Tristan asked panicked for me.
"Alec he really wants me dead doesn’t he?" I said back.
"Did something happen has he threatened you again?" Tristan stroked my check and wore that perfect smile.
"No I haven’t seen him but it’s just hit me thinking about everything he has said and how he's been and what I have done to him."
"You haven’t done anything to him he is the one who is being difficult you are just trying to keep him safe here and he resents you for that."
"I should off let him go the first time I shouldn’t gone for him.”
"Jane he was everything to you off course you wanted him here with you but you have to see that you can’t hold his hand any more."
"But he will get hurt he so foolish Tristan no one knows him like I do."
"Hay shh now ok we all mistakes and Alec has to learn that for himself you have to let him go."
I shake my head I did not want to let him go he was mine.
"You see Jane this is why I fell for you, even though you put up this evil act I know who you really are deep down, just leave Alec be, he will think your going to go crazy at him, don’t play into his hands, behave yeah don’t give him more reasons to hate you, give him ones that will remind him of how you care and I know you do even if you say you don’t."
Tristan was right I had to behave around Alec this was going to be hard he knew how to wind me up last time when I was sad when he chose Sarah over me he came back surly he will come back again.
Jane.
This week has been very odd indeed, I find myself wanting to find Alec and talk to him, to make him understand why I treat him like I do and to be honest I am not that hard on him,. It is just when he is being reckless, when he acts like a spoilt brat, that is when he really gets to me and I cannot help but scream at him. I was listing intently to Gabriel in his room, he some how shifted into a girl, I heard him cry, vampires do not cry. I thought he somehow had someone in there with him, but he was really crying. I opened the door, there stood a girl, a 17 year old, fairly pretty, it made me think if he could shape shift into someone then possibly he could share the same experience as they did, so I don’t know why, but I wanted to know the truth. What was my brother really feeling, because if there was a way to get him back from all this fighting and him burning me, well, I do not want to experience that again, I needed to know.
I demanded him to shift. He looked away and made up some ridicules lie "I am Tired" Bollix Vampires do not get tired. My patience was wearing thin.
"Shift" I demanded
he really knew how to push me he smiled. Then I asked him it flew out off my mouth before I could stop myself.
"Change into my brother?" He told me he could not that he needed to see him I dragged him to a portrait we had stood for two days solid for the dam thing back when Alec respected me.
Suddenly the girl that was in front of me formed into my brother. I gasped at how real he looked. Gabriel looked stunned, fear was present in his eyes
Gabriel started to shout " Bitch I hate her, must kill her while I can" I dropped to my knees it was true he really did want me dead, my brother wanted me gone out of is life, I was definitely not his sister anymore this shouldn’t have shocked me. I knew deep down I did but why did I try to fool myself in believing he would not hurt me he would, all the time he was telling the truth he would kill me he will be the one to cause my death. I had really let him down I had pushed him away this was not anyone else’s fault it was all mine “Alec Iam sorry." I whispered, "Forgive me." It was hopeless, he has made his mind up I am dead to him, I am very foolish, the man that was posing as my brother apologised to me and said he was sorry that my brother had left me, I realised I was showing to much emotion. I jumped up and the monster, the evil resurfaced, the real Jane returning, the evil bitch that did not care who she hurt that was really me. Sometimes I would slip and show some kindness and Alec bought that out in me, he wants me dead and I want him dead how strange to feel like that about my only brother. I left the shape shifter; I could not care what happens to him. I went straight to the one person I could trust, the one who would never hurt me. Tristan was on his Xbox playing some random shooting game as I entered, I sat in his chair and hid my face in it, and he turned the game off and called my name. I Ignored him and his voice became distant, I felt my body shaking when I snapped out off whatever trance I had put myself in.
" Jane what’s wrong?" Tristan asked panicked for me.
"Alec he really wants me dead doesn’t he?" I said back.
"Did something happen has he threatened you again?" Tristan stroked my check and wore that perfect smile.
"No I haven’t seen him but it’s just hit me thinking about everything he has said and how he's been and what I have done to him."
"You haven’t done anything to him he is the one who is being difficult you are just trying to keep him safe here and he resents you for that."
"I should off let him go the first time I shouldn’t gone for him.”
"Jane he was everything to you off course you wanted him here with you but you have to see that you can’t hold his hand any more."
"But he will get hurt he so foolish Tristan no one knows him like I do."
"Hay shh now ok we all mistakes and Alec has to learn that for himself you have to let him go."
I shake my head I did not want to let him go he was mine.
"You see Jane this is why I fell for you, even though you put up this evil act I know who you really are deep down, just leave Alec be, he will think your going to go crazy at him, don’t play into his hands, behave yeah don’t give him more reasons to hate you, give him ones that will remind him of how you care and I know you do even if you say you don’t."
Tristan was right I had to behave around Alec this was going to be hard he knew how to wind me up last time when I was sad when he chose Sarah over me he came back surly he will come back again.
Jane.
adorable girl >.< haha