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Dear diary I have taken a life, to feed the thirst that is meant to control me, Demitri seems happy that I haven’t lost control, the voice in my head told me over and over who I was and that I was a good person, I let my instincts take over my body and I was flying through the air to the human, I could see his pulse beating in his neck and his heart beat was all I could hear thump thump it was beating faster and faster, when he saw me, the voice in my head disappeared he explained to me before that when I feed he will leave me while I feast away he said he doesn’t need to see the carnage I will make, which makes me wonder how can he call me a good person if he can’t stand to see me kill.
I was so ashamed of myself when I returned to being me, I don’t remember ripping the human’s head off, but there it lay, away from his bloodless body, I guess I see myself as two different people, the beast in me who needs to be fed by human blood, then the new me the new Valentina Midnight who is strong and has control of the beast inside me, I will only release that side of me to feed, maybe that’s what the voice meant about not wanting to see the carnage? I will have to ask him.
I said before that I didn’t have feelings towards Demitri that I just saw him as a friend but the more time I spend with him the more I really like him, I think its more then a feeling of like as I want to be his friend, its like I want to know more, more then that I should know about a friend I am disgusted at myself he doesn’t feel the same I know he doesn’t, I freak him out, lets face it I am a freak having two conversations at one time, ohh boy the voice hates Demitri too, I don’t know why, he hasn’t done anything wrong, he has been very kind and supportive of me. ohh wait he is back now, ok the voice says "its because he was the one who changed you into this" I corrected him he had told me that he was happy I hadn’t died, we still haven’t agreed on that subject, so he is happy I am a vampire and I am still living sort of but angry with Demitri for changing me. I think that’s his view? You see the things I have to put up with. Ohh he tells me "yes that is my view." I told the voice he is being stupid and should accept it. I like Demitri even though he doesn’t like me. The voice hasn’t replied to that statement and I was thinking I need a name for the voice he won’t tell me it he says I will laugh but surely a name would be better then just calling him a voice and then I can call for him when he isn’t there.
We I mean I have set some rules I cant have him constantly there he will drive me crazy if iam not already there so the rules are: -
1. When I ask him to leave he has to.
2. He isn’t allowed to distract me when iam talking and he isn’t involved in the conversation. (He does it all the time I can say something to Demitri and the voice starts a new conversation to distract me)
3. He isn’t allowed to shout at me. (It really hurts my head.)
In return I will allow him to leave when I feed and I promised not to keep going on about Demitri to him because he hates him, he doesn’t want to hear that I have fallen for him, sadly I always choose the person who cannot love me back, but to have him close will have to do, I guess in time and we have plenty of that, maybe I can convince him to like me, hmmm yeah that could work.
After I fed Demitri took me to Chelsea and Afton’s room for a change of clothes, he held my hand all the way there I think it was because he didn’t want me to escape but I never want that I will stay here forever if it meant being with Demitri. Chelsea and Afton were not in their room but Demitri said we could get something for me she wouldn’t mind, the voice said Chelsea was nice and that I should make friends with her instead of Jane but I won’t be told who I must and mustn’t like I reminded him. He didn’t like that and left.
"Peace at last." I spoke loudly hoping he would hear it. Demitri looked at me with a bizarre look, I didn’t like him looking at me like that it made me feel like a freak, so I looked around Chelsea and Afton’s room, they had a lot of pretty things, Chelsea must like diamonds. Demitri had some clothes he looked at them and then to me and said "No Hmmm, there has to be something decent in here." He disappeared. I hadn’t noticed he had gone the first time.
"Demitri...."panic was present in my voice.
Demitri was at my side in that split second holding my face.
"What’s wrong?" Demitri asked he had a look of worry in his eyes. The voice screamed at me "Get off her" The voice screamed in my head I pushed Demitri into the mirrored wall and I dropped to the floor as my head was filled with pain and his voice still screaming at me.
"Leave........." I demanded to the voice. Demitri was in front of me I had my hands covering my ears Demitri lifted my face.
"I am not leaving you in this state I am sorry I didn’t mean to scare you." Demitri apologised.
"No you didn’t scare me, ohh my gosh, did I hurt you? I am sorry, He screamed at me and it shocked me, gosh Demitri I am so sorry look at the mess I have made.” I cried out appalled by my actions.
"So you don’t want me to leave?" Demitri asked
"No I was telling the voice to leave."
"Ohh Ok why did you sound so scared before?" Demitri asked.
"I couldn’t see you I got scared that you left me." I admitted foolishly, Demitri laughed and helped me up. He held his hand out for me.
"Come on maybe you will see something in this room that will take your fancy." Demitri pulled me into the huge room where he had disappeared to, it had thousands of clothes I have never seen anything like it before, I looked for some jeans something plain but there was nothing plain here I couldn’t just take without asking, some of these might have special meanings. Demitri pulled me behind him and I heard a low growl I felt it rumble through me as Demitri held me close to him. Suddenly a face peeped around the door his hands up to say I am not going to hurt you.
"Demitri” The man acknowledged.
The voice came back softly now "Afton." The voice whispered not to scare me.
"What..... Why are you in here?" Afton asked a little confused.
Demitri relaxed.
"Valentina This Is........." "Afton, Chelsea’s mate, and yes I know." I finished off for him, Afton looked a little shocked but gained composure, a flicker off interest played on his face. I Held my hand out to greet him. He took it and kissed my hand.
"It’s nice to meet you Valentina, I must say your very well…… erm how can I say it with out offending you?" He looked lost in thought for a second the voice in my head spoke softly again "controlled"
"Erm maybe the word you’re looking for is controlled?" I asked.
"Ha yes that would work." Afton smiled unsure about me now, Demitri laughed and shook Afton’s hand to apologise I assume. Afton grabbed Demitri's hand and pulled him into a hug patting his back “No worries brother." Afton replied “Afton is accepting Demitri’s apology for growling" The voice said "yes I gathered that." I said back to it my voice sounded annoyed I hoped he got that to.
"I am sorry Valentina I never meant to hurt you are you ok?" The voice asked me he sounded really upset and I couldn’t be mean any longer, I smiled and looked to the ground. "I am fine now just don’t do it again." "I promise to behave." He spoke again this time it was a whisper and I could feel his presence escape my mind I looked up at both Vampires staring at me. Afton looked horrified, Demitri smiled briefly as he understood Demitri looked at Afton and laughed “Don’t worry you will get used to that." Demitri told Afton but he still looked dazed. Demitri kicked him so he stopped staring at me it was making me feel uncomfortable.
Afton cleared his throat and shook his head.
"Erm.... What happened to Chelsea mirror?" Afton asked changing the subject “Ohh that’s my fault well not really my fault but I will fix it for you." I said apologising for the voice as he can’t speak for himself I don’t think he would apologise for hurting Demitri though.
"Ohh Ok doesn’t worry about it I was thinking of removing it anyway Chelsea has far too many mirrors." He laughed.
A thought popped into my head and I was speaking before I realised.
"You should get a massive painting or canvas to cover the wall with your happiest memory of Chelsea."
"That’s a fantastic idea, she would truly love that I am going to do it now thank you Valentina." He smiled and I felt great I had made another friend, how could it be so easy to make friends now, when I was human I struggled to keep friends and now it seems effortless, Afton noticed my blood drenched cloths and understood why we where here.
"Take anything you like Chelsea wont mind.” Afton agreed and Demitri looked extremely pleased.
I turned and eyed up a gorgeous deep purple jump suit, it screamed out at me I picked it up and asked Demitri what he thought, he eyed it up and nodded in approval I quickly tossed my clothes off and Demitri left the room to give me some privacy, I giggled I didn’t mind him being here with me naked maybe he minded ,hmmm bad mistake Valentina I thought it looked amazing on me I must admit and I found some really nice shoes to go with it too, I hope she doesn’t mind I will return it to her as good as new, she wont even notice its gone I hope. I will show you what it looks like I will draw it for you, I love it well I am going to try and find out a little bit more about Demitri because I really don’t know a lot and he doesn’t like talking about himself much so its going to be hard work wish me luck
Valentina MidniGht XX
Dear diary I have taken a life, to feed the thirst that is meant to control me, Demitri seems happy that I haven’t lost control, the voice in my head told me over and over who I was and that I was a good person, I let my instincts take over my body and I was flying through the air to the human, I could see his pulse beating in his neck and his heart beat was all I could hear thump thump it was beating faster and faster, when he saw me, the voice in my head disappeared he explained to me before that when I feed he will leave me while I feast away he said he doesn’t need to see the carnage I will make, which makes me wonder how can he call me a good person if he can’t stand to see me kill.
I was so ashamed of myself when I returned to being me, I don’t remember ripping the human’s head off, but there it lay, away from his bloodless body, I guess I see myself as two different people, the beast in me who needs to be fed by human blood, then the new me the new Valentina Midnight who is strong and has control of the beast inside me, I will only release that side of me to feed, maybe that’s what the voice meant about not wanting to see the carnage? I will have to ask him.
I said before that I didn’t have feelings towards Demitri that I just saw him as a friend but the more time I spend with him the more I really like him, I think its more then a feeling of like as I want to be his friend, its like I want to know more, more then that I should know about a friend I am disgusted at myself he doesn’t feel the same I know he doesn’t, I freak him out, lets face it I am a freak having two conversations at one time, ohh boy the voice hates Demitri too, I don’t know why, he hasn’t done anything wrong, he has been very kind and supportive of me. ohh wait he is back now, ok the voice says "its because he was the one who changed you into this" I corrected him he had told me that he was happy I hadn’t died, we still haven’t agreed on that subject, so he is happy I am a vampire and I am still living sort of but angry with Demitri for changing me. I think that’s his view? You see the things I have to put up with. Ohh he tells me "yes that is my view." I told the voice he is being stupid and should accept it. I like Demitri even though he doesn’t like me. The voice hasn’t replied to that statement and I was thinking I need a name for the voice he won’t tell me it he says I will laugh but surely a name would be better then just calling him a voice and then I can call for him when he isn’t there.
We I mean I have set some rules I cant have him constantly there he will drive me crazy if iam not already there so the rules are: -
1. When I ask him to leave he has to.
2. He isn’t allowed to distract me when iam talking and he isn’t involved in the conversation. (He does it all the time I can say something to Demitri and the voice starts a new conversation to distract me)
3. He isn’t allowed to shout at me. (It really hurts my head.)
In return I will allow him to leave when I feed and I promised not to keep going on about Demitri to him because he hates him, he doesn’t want to hear that I have fallen for him, sadly I always choose the person who cannot love me back, but to have him close will have to do, I guess in time and we have plenty of that, maybe I can convince him to like me, hmmm yeah that could work.
After I fed Demitri took me to Chelsea and Afton’s room for a change of clothes, he held my hand all the way there I think it was because he didn’t want me to escape but I never want that I will stay here forever if it meant being with Demitri. Chelsea and Afton were not in their room but Demitri said we could get something for me she wouldn’t mind, the voice said Chelsea was nice and that I should make friends with her instead of Jane but I won’t be told who I must and mustn’t like I reminded him. He didn’t like that and left.
"Peace at last." I spoke loudly hoping he would hear it. Demitri looked at me with a bizarre look, I didn’t like him looking at me like that it made me feel like a freak, so I looked around Chelsea and Afton’s room, they had a lot of pretty things, Chelsea must like diamonds. Demitri had some clothes he looked at them and then to me and said "No Hmmm, there has to be something decent in here." He disappeared. I hadn’t noticed he had gone the first time.
"Demitri...."panic was present in my voice.
Demitri was at my side in that split second holding my face.
"What’s wrong?" Demitri asked he had a look of worry in his eyes. The voice screamed at me "Get off her" The voice screamed in my head I pushed Demitri into the mirrored wall and I dropped to the floor as my head was filled with pain and his voice still screaming at me.
"Leave........." I demanded to the voice. Demitri was in front of me I had my hands covering my ears Demitri lifted my face.
"I am not leaving you in this state I am sorry I didn’t mean to scare you." Demitri apologised.
"No you didn’t scare me, ohh my gosh, did I hurt you? I am sorry, He screamed at me and it shocked me, gosh Demitri I am so sorry look at the mess I have made.” I cried out appalled by my actions.
"So you don’t want me to leave?" Demitri asked
"No I was telling the voice to leave."
"Ohh Ok why did you sound so scared before?" Demitri asked.
"I couldn’t see you I got scared that you left me." I admitted foolishly, Demitri laughed and helped me up. He held his hand out for me.
"Come on maybe you will see something in this room that will take your fancy." Demitri pulled me into the huge room where he had disappeared to, it had thousands of clothes I have never seen anything like it before, I looked for some jeans something plain but there was nothing plain here I couldn’t just take without asking, some of these might have special meanings. Demitri pulled me behind him and I heard a low growl I felt it rumble through me as Demitri held me close to him. Suddenly a face peeped around the door his hands up to say I am not going to hurt you.
"Demitri” The man acknowledged.
The voice came back softly now "Afton." The voice whispered not to scare me.
"What..... Why are you in here?" Afton asked a little confused.
Demitri relaxed.
"Valentina This Is........." "Afton, Chelsea’s mate, and yes I know." I finished off for him, Afton looked a little shocked but gained composure, a flicker off interest played on his face. I Held my hand out to greet him. He took it and kissed my hand.
"It’s nice to meet you Valentina, I must say your very well…… erm how can I say it with out offending you?" He looked lost in thought for a second the voice in my head spoke softly again "controlled"
"Erm maybe the word you’re looking for is controlled?" I asked.
"Ha yes that would work." Afton smiled unsure about me now, Demitri laughed and shook Afton’s hand to apologise I assume. Afton grabbed Demitri's hand and pulled him into a hug patting his back “No worries brother." Afton replied “Afton is accepting Demitri’s apology for growling" The voice said "yes I gathered that." I said back to it my voice sounded annoyed I hoped he got that to.
"I am sorry Valentina I never meant to hurt you are you ok?" The voice asked me he sounded really upset and I couldn’t be mean any longer, I smiled and looked to the ground. "I am fine now just don’t do it again." "I promise to behave." He spoke again this time it was a whisper and I could feel his presence escape my mind I looked up at both Vampires staring at me. Afton looked horrified, Demitri smiled briefly as he understood Demitri looked at Afton and laughed “Don’t worry you will get used to that." Demitri told Afton but he still looked dazed. Demitri kicked him so he stopped staring at me it was making me feel uncomfortable.
Afton cleared his throat and shook his head.
"Erm.... What happened to Chelsea mirror?" Afton asked changing the subject “Ohh that’s my fault well not really my fault but I will fix it for you." I said apologising for the voice as he can’t speak for himself I don’t think he would apologise for hurting Demitri though.
"Ohh Ok doesn’t worry about it I was thinking of removing it anyway Chelsea has far too many mirrors." He laughed.
A thought popped into my head and I was speaking before I realised.
"You should get a massive painting or canvas to cover the wall with your happiest memory of Chelsea."
"That’s a fantastic idea, she would truly love that I am going to do it now thank you Valentina." He smiled and I felt great I had made another friend, how could it be so easy to make friends now, when I was human I struggled to keep friends and now it seems effortless, Afton noticed my blood drenched cloths and understood why we where here.
"Take anything you like Chelsea wont mind.” Afton agreed and Demitri looked extremely pleased.
I turned and eyed up a gorgeous deep purple jump suit, it screamed out at me I picked it up and asked Demitri what he thought, he eyed it up and nodded in approval I quickly tossed my clothes off and Demitri left the room to give me some privacy, I giggled I didn’t mind him being here with me naked maybe he minded ,hmmm bad mistake Valentina I thought it looked amazing on me I must admit and I found some really nice shoes to go with it too, I hope she doesn’t mind I will return it to her as good as new, she wont even notice its gone I hope. I will show you what it looks like I will draw it for you, I love it well I am going to try and find out a little bit more about Demitri because I really don’t know a lot and he doesn’t like talking about himself much so its going to be hard work wish me luck
Valentina MidniGht XX
