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My true thoughts

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1My true thoughts Empty My true thoughts Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:59 pm

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Dear diary

Today has been a little tough for me if I am completely honest, I know everyone thinks I am heartless cow and I enjoy nothing more then torturing people and yes I do get a kick out off it, but my one weakness is my dear, dear brother, I hate it when he is mad at me and believe me it doesn't happen very often, maybe once in a century. We are never apart and when he stormed out off the hall and slammed the door in anger because he wasn't put foward, I politely asked Aro if he could come too but Aro said he has some things he would like Alec to be doing for him so he wouldnt be able to come with us.

Aro was very sympathetic, he understood our bond better then anyone but assured me he will take great care of him while I am away. This eased my concern a little but I will always worry about my brother. He doesn't click as well as others do here, Felix and Demitri have a very strong bond and enjoy each others company and sometimes Alec tries to get involved but he just can't keep up with them because really, he is still a boy, my baby brother and he gets upset and depressed when he can't get things right. Alec has this crazy theory that everyone is scared off him and they don't like to upset him because he will use his gift on them but Alec only uses it when he is told to by our kings.

Truthfully, I think there scared of me because I am bad to the core, well that's the impression I give, the way my gift works is very evil, to burn people and I can't help getting a thrill out of it. It's my nature, but Alec is kinder then me, he has more compassion ,I guess I am hot headed, I jump in and Alec stands back and just watches while I play bully. He shouldn't feel like no one likes him, I am sure they do, they just don't understand him and they don't dare get near him because if they upset him, they would have me to deal with and everyone knows that, even Aro. He is my king yes, but if he ever upset my brother then I would bring him down and damn it I could, but that will never happen, Aro would never hurt my brother.

Iwill always be overprotective of him I guess, I get scared he will get hurt, this must be a shock for you diary to see a kind side of me. My brother is the only person who see's the good in me, well there isn't much good in me but the little I have goes to him. I tried to talk to him but he refused to talk to me so I am leaving him to cool off. Demitri said he will try to talk to him. Demitri gets me, I don't understand how, I don't let people in, it's a rule of mine, if anyone gets close, they can do more damage then good and I don't want that because it's not just me it affects, it's my brother too and I will not let anything affect him. I will do anything in my power to stop that, even if it means I spend eternity alone. In a way I am not alone, I have my brother, Demitri gets that and I think he has been trying involve Alec a little bit more. I dont know why I have never noticed this side of Demitri before but I think I like it, it's always been me and Alec I guess thats why I have never noticed it before

I think I am going to enjoy getting to know Demitri a little better with our mission to England.

Well that's everything I am going to go find Chelsea, she will help me I know and then I am going to see if my brother will see me. I hope so, since the happy meal has arrived, I have hardly spent time with him,al having to train the stupid happy meal to use her gift its actuly boring me. So a break would be nice

Jane

https://talesofthelost.forumotion.co.uk

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